Jesus Loves You AND Likes You

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- How did that make you feel?

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Anxious, excited, angry?

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It's very easy to become overwhelmed

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by the world outside our control.

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Responsibilities, deadlines, ambitions

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can really complicate the simplicity of our life.

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Jesus had some thoughts about this.

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In the book of Matthew from the Bible Jesus says:

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A yoke is a wooden cross piece that is

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fastened over the necks of two animals

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that allows for carrying a heavy burden.

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Responsibilities, deadlines, ambitions,

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these aren't bad things.

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They're burdens we are designed to carry.

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Jesus is inviting us to lighten the load

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by joining ourselves to Him.

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Imagine He is sitting next to you right now

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asking you how you're doing.

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Be honest with Him.

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Tell Him about the responsibilities,

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deadlines, ambitions that are weighing you down.

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Ask Him to join you, to help carry the weight

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that has become too much to bear.

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- We just want to welcome you to Crossroads.

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For those of you who are in the room

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and watching online, welcome, welcome.

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I don't know what you've brought in the room with you.

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I don't know what you're carrying.

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Maybe you've walked in and you feel like

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the weight of the world is on your shoulders.

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Or maybe you relate to that video that you just saw.

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We just want to say to you,

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we're so glad that you're here.

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You are in the right place.

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And our hope for you is that you experience

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freedom and joy today.

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Go ahead and take a second and turn to somebody

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and just say hello. We're so happy you're here.

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- Crossroads has been called to change the world.

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- I heard many times about Nepalese girls

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getting sold to prostitution in India,

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and that made me think to use some time of my life

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to come to Nepal and do something about it.

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- Poverty, injustice, unsafe drinking water,

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food insecurity, human trafficking.

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The work varies from partner to partner,

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place to place, but the call is the same:

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Go change the world.

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- When we saw what was happening

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to the forgotten communities in Puerto Rico,

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we knew we had to do something.

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- We are invested in creating

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meaningful relationships with our partners,

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whether local, regional or international.

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Our partners are answering the call

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to influence radical life change.

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- When I heard about South Africa,

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I was all in and so excited.

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It turns out it was the best experience of my life.

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- God designed us for purpose and relationship

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and that's what you'll experience when you Go.

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You were meant for more than the ordinary.

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We are meant to Go. You are meant to Go. Let's Go!

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- I love that. I love this piece of our church.

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For over two decades, Crossroads has said yes

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to God's call to go and change the world.

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When it comes to entering the big problems

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of injustice and poverty, exploitation,

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things that seem so big, people often think,

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and I often think, "Well, someone else

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is going to jump into that thing."

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But it's actually, what I believe,

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it's actually you and me who are called by God

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to enter into that space and get into the trenches.

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- Yeah. The church, and not just Crossroads,

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by the way, the church everywhere

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is God's plan for restoration

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and healing in the world.

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So that's why we Go.

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You know, last year I got to go to Nicaragua

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myself, and it was such a great experience.

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I got to meet a Compassion kid

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who was struggling in life and needed help,

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and that impacted me so much more

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than maybe I impacted them.

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It's a life change that happens there.

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- And it was real sweaty, if I remember

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you coming back, it was a little sweaty, right?

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- It was very sweaty. - We get our hands dirty.

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We get sweaty with people to be a part of

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the work of God impacting this world.

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So you can check out all of our Go Trips

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global and domestic at Crossroads.net/trips.

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This is an invitation.

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It's an invitation for you to step into

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an adventure that we believe God has for you,

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that He sent both of us on to be a part

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of change in someone's life.

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And just like you said, most of the time

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it impacts my life in such a great way

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that I never expected. - Yeah. That's right.

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Well, hey, welcome to Crossroads.

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You're joining us in our digital expression

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of our weekly services. I'm Eric.

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- And I'm Justin. Crossroads is one church

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with many locations meeting physically,

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digitally all over the world.

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Our goal is to help you understand

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the message of Jesus and to help you grow spiritually.

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- Yeah, and another way that you can both grow

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and make huge impact in the world is through giving.

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If you'd like to join us in giving,

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you can do that in the Crossroads app

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or you can go to crossroads.net/give.

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- That's right. Well, right now we're about to hear

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from one of our teaching pastors, Alli Patterson,

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in our current series called Thirsty.

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In a little bit we'll all be taking communion together.

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And so take a moment to hit pause right now

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and grab like any bread you got, or tortilla

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or crackers or some wine and some juice.

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Something to have of bread and wine experience together.

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We're going to do that in a little bit.

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So once you have that in hand,

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then come right back here to hear from Alli.

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- So refreshing.

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Nothing is more satisfying than natural pure water

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flowing from nature's bosom.

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When you reach for a drink to quench your thirst,

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make sure it is water.

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[FX explosion]

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- Don't drink from some dysentery ridden

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raccoon swimming pool.

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- Nature sucks.

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- You need a drink that says, "I'm here to party

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and I might have just swallowed a cicada.

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- Cicada.

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- Something that'll swell your tongue

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and make your insides glow in the dark.

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- Radiation. - Nature.

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- Cicada. - Radiation.

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You need Thirsty. - Thirsty.

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- A drink designed by scientists

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at a lab in the basement of your mom's house.

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It's full of all kinds of things you can't spell:

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So the next time you got a thirst,

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grab the drink that will do absolutely nothing for you.

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- Thirsty.

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- It comes in six flavors that aren't real flavors.

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- Six flavors.

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- Thirsty.

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-The drink that will leave you wanting more.

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[FX explosion]

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- Hey everybody, I'm Alli.

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It's great to be with you this weekend.

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And I love that we try new things,

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whether it's energy drink video

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or something special that we actually tried

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last weekend here at Crossroads.

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And I got to tell you, sometimes new things work

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and sometimes they don't.

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But what happened last weekend really, really worked.

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Was there anyone here who was at

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the Ignite Conference? Okay.

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We did the very first ever Ignite Conference

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for women last weekend.

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We packed out the George.

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We tried something new,

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and we wanted to invite women into a life that

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is more focused on mission in the Kingdom of God,

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a life of greater vision and purpose.

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And this is what happened.

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Woo! The number one thing that women told me

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coming out of that conference was, "I feel so full.

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I feel so filled up right now."

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And that brought a smile to my face,

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especially because this month at Crossroads

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we're talking about where we go to get filled up.

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And some of those places are good,

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and some of those places are maybe a little bit drier.

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We go back and back and back

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and maybe we still come away thirsty.

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This month we're talking about

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all kinds of different places, but today

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we're actually talking about one that we all have.

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Let me pray for us.

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Lord, help us to hear You in everything

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that we talk about today.

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I pray that my words would be helpful and clear

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and true to Your character. In Jesus's name, Amen.

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I had a third grade teacher

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and I really wanted her to like me.

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She was and remains one of my favorite teachers ever.

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I know you all have a favorite teacher.

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I was nine years old.

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I was in Mrs. Melnick's class

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and she gave out papers at the end of the day,

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she would grade papers and she'd give them out.

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And they always had these wonderful

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little smelly stickers on them, like,

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if you did a good job,

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they smelled like strawberries or grapes

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and the strawberry would be saying,

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"Great job, good work."

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And I just loved Mrs. Melnick.

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I really wanted her to like me.

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Just every day I would come in with a smile

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on my face and, you know, hoping that

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she would be liking me.

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And one day we went out to a really hot recess

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and we came back in and we're all in line

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for the water fountain.

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And this guy, his name was Max Cattaneo,

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not that I remember this moment in my life at all.

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Max Cattaneo was in front of me at the water fountain.

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He was taking a little too long.

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I was getting hot, a little irritated,

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and I gave him a little shove

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right as he bent down to get a drink.

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And he chipped his tooth and cut his gum.

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And Mrs. Melnick called me up to her desk.

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She frowned at me,

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and she talked to me really sternly.

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And that day, when the papers came back,

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no sticker. I didn't get a sticker that day.

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And I'm not kidding you,

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I remember that day to this day.

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And I know we have moments like that

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where we were really hoping

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somebody was going to like us,

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and it didn't work quite the way it should.

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We are thirsty for people to like us.

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And some of us would say, "No, I'm not, no, I'm not."

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And to you I would say, "Yes, you are, yes, you are."

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It might not be everybody.

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I know there's a spectrum here.

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Some of us really want to be liked by everybody

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and others of us, maybe just a few, special few.

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But we all want to be liked.

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As a matter of fact, we were designed for this,

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liked, to be seen by others, to be affirmed

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and connected in positive, healthy relationship.

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That is part of our design as human beings.

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And not just once.

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This thirst that we have to be liked,

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it requires a constant flow.

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Like, even if every day of Mrs. Melnick's

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third grade class had gone well for me,

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I would still need to be liked 30 years later-ish.

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We have a constant need.

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It's a need that continues to assert itself.

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It continues to create a hole in our life.

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It continues to be a space that we want to fill.

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But I have really good news for you today.

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I don't know if you know this, but we have developed a system

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and it is the best system ever

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for assuring ourselves that we can be liked

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24 hours a day, seven days a week.

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Everybody can be absolutely certain that they are liked.

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It's called social media.

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It might be the best attempt that humanity

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has ever made to fill up this thirst to be liked.

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I would make the argument that

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the central experience on social media

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is the like button.

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It's the thumbs up, the heart,

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the smiley face emoji, just the like.

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You go through and you're liking everything.

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This is a like might mean I see you girl.

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Great pic. You're looking good.

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You're my friend.

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It might mean any of those things.

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I've actually been collecting

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the unwritten rules of likes.

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I've actually stumbled into a few

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that I didn't mean to.

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I had one of my kids,

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I've got four teenagers in my house.

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So, you know, I learned about social media through them.

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And I stumbled into an unwritten rule of a like

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when I saw one of my kids posts,

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but I didn't like it, and they were like,

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"Rude, rude."

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And I went, "Wait, what? I was there.

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Like, I was there when that picture was taken."

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No, apparently it's rude.

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And also I picked up on this one.

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You never, this is a never rule of liking,

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if you have an ex or your friends have exes,

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you never like anything.

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Do not like them. If you're --

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If you're an ex anything, an ex friend,

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an ex-spouse, an ex boyfriend, an ex girlfriend,

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the likes are over for you. You're done.

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And you're done with all their friends.

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So the likes can dry up. They can --

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There's all these unwritten rules

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of what to like and what not to like.

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And when you get a hold of these rules, guess what?

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You can go crazy.

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You can like like like like like,

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all kinds of likes all day long.

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Don't break any of the rules.

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But Instagram alone records 4.2 billion likes

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per day on their platform.

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If you were to multiply that out

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by the top 5 or 6 social media platforms

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that make up the predominant social media usage

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around the globe, that is 26 billion likes,

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26 billion likes.

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That's what we're doing on social media.

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We are thirsty to be liked.

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And it's what we get on social media all day long.

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And the question is, is it working for us?

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We're thirsty to be liked.

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We really want -- We want to be seen.

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We want to be approved of.

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We want to be affirmed by at least the people

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that we want to be connected to.

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Is it working?

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Well, let's take a look.

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I've got some stats for you.

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Take a look at some stats here today.

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There's 5.17 billion people

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on social media worldwide, just so you know.

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A few of the stats.

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You know, there are average usage per day

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is 2.5 hours a person.

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Now the teens are always the highest.

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You might not be surprised to learn that

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the peak is teenage girls at about six hours per day.

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Teens report using, 33% of them report

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using social media, quote, almost constantly.

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We are really involved with this mechanism

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that we've created to be liked, but how are we feeling about it?

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Let's take a look at a few of these.

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How are we feeling after we use it?

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67% of the people, I don't have to tell you,

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you're the 67%, you feel worse after you've been on it.

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You feel worse about your life.

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40% report feeling anxious or depressed.

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60% say they've been actually harassed

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or bullied on a regular basis.

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And my, I don't know if you know this about me,

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but I was a -- I was a stats major.

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I had a secondary major in stats in college.

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So I was really fascinated by this.

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There are some negative correlations

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with social media usage.

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Now what does that mean?

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It means there are some things that

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as your social media usage goes up,

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these things go down.

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And here's just a few.

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Your emotional stability,

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as your social media usage goes up,

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your emotional stability goes down in proportion.

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As your social media usage goes up,

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your openness to experiences goes down,

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your agreeableness, your extroversion,

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and the list goes on and on.

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We go there to be filled with this need

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we all have to be liked, but it's not filling us

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or it's filling us, but with things

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we didn't go there to find

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and we don't really want in our life.

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But we keep going back.

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And the answer -- The question for me

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without an answer today is why?

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Why do we keep going back over and over

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and over again to social media to fill

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this thirst that we have in our life?

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And it's because this thirst is incredibly powerful.

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We feel this need, this desire

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throughout our physical body.

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Do you know 90% of people with a smartphone

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in their pocket who use social media

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would say they've had a phantom ping?

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We want this notification that we've been liked

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so much that we imagine it.

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We imagine it pinging in our pocket.

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You've been liked again.

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And it's not just these phantom things that we imagine.

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It's also that social media has captured

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an actual internal biological process in our brain.

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It actually activates our internal reward system.

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Maybe you've heard about this, maybe you haven't.

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But here's what happens when you pick up your phone

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and you've been liked.

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You pick up your phone

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and you have that great experience.

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Somebody gave me a thumbs up.

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They gave me a heart.

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And it releases a chemical in your brain

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called dopamine.

00:21:00

And dopamine, as you might know,

00:21:02

is the happiness chemical.

00:21:04

It makes you feel happy.

00:21:05

So of course, you know, you post things

00:21:07

and you're like, "Yes, okay, I feel good.

00:21:11

It was liked," not just liked once,

00:21:14

but maybe you got 823 likes.

00:21:15

I don't think that's ever happened to me.

00:21:17

But maybe you get 823 likes

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and you feel good 823 times.

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But each time it goes back down again.

00:21:27

So you go around the circle again,

00:21:29

you pick up your phone. You've been liked.

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Yay! I feel happy.

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And now it's going to diminish again.

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And then we go back for more.

00:21:35

On and on and on it goes.

00:21:38

Social media has captured this internal process.

00:21:42

And so we keep coming back to this well

00:21:47

that maybe isn't filled with

00:21:49

what we wanted it to be filled with,

00:21:51

but we're hooked. We are absolutely hooked.

00:21:55

And it begins to control things in our life

00:21:57

that maybe we didn't ever really think it would.

00:22:00

Maybe some of these things

00:22:02

you don't even really think about.

00:22:03

Let's take a look. I thought it'd be fun.

00:22:05

We're going to take a look

00:22:06

and draw some conclusions from my Instagram,

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two most liked posts

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and two least liked posts of the year.

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Are you ready for these?

00:22:15

Two most liked.

00:22:17

These are not going to surprise you at all.

00:22:19

Okay, we had a big anniversary this year,

00:22:22

so I posted a picture from my wedding to celebrate.

00:22:24

We hit 25 years so that one's from our anniversary post.

00:22:28

And then the other one, you're going to crack up,

00:22:31

is a costume. That's a costume.

00:22:34

I don't actually have a leopard print fur coat

00:22:38

and large sunglasses that I wear around in the atrium.

00:22:41

Hello. You know, this is me.

00:22:44

No, that's a costume.

00:22:46

We were doing, like, a tongue in cheek video shoot,

00:22:49

and I thought it was funny.

00:22:50

So we posted that. Those were the two most liked.

00:22:53

Now let's have a look.

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Again, you're not going to be surprised.

00:22:57

Let's have a look at the two least liked:

00:23:00

a Bible verse. Hmmmm.

00:23:03

And also the second one is an app

00:23:05

from the Crossroads -- or an app journal

00:23:07

from the Crossroads app that I shared

00:23:09

on the book of Hebrews.

00:23:12

What kinds of conclusions could we possibly

00:23:15

draw from this and what kind of control,

00:23:18

if you are after likes,

00:23:20

with this begin to exert over your life?

00:23:23

I don't know, at a very high level,

00:23:25

I would conclude if I want likes

00:23:28

and that's what I'm after, and I'm trying

00:23:30

to fill that need and I'm going back to that well

00:23:32

to fill up this thirst of mine,

00:23:34

I would definitely make the decision

00:23:36

to go more beauty and less Bible. Right?

00:23:41

And I've been standing there just like you,

00:23:44

got two posts I could make.

00:23:46

Should I post the pretty picture?

00:23:49

It's probably going to get more likes

00:23:52

and not even really questioning what's going on in me?

00:23:56

What's going on in that?

00:23:58

What is this thing in my pocket?

00:24:00

I had somebody actually say, "You know,

00:24:02

I'm surprised we're doing a whole weekend on,

00:24:04

you know, like, stuff with our phone

00:24:06

and social media and likes." Are you?

00:24:10

Are you when you think about the impact that it has

00:24:13

over 5.17 billion people on the face of the Earth,

00:24:17

and the fact that our teenage girls

00:24:19

are spending six hours and you're probably

00:24:21

spending 2 to 3 on your phone every single day

00:24:24

seeking to get this need met?

00:24:34

I think half the battle here is stopping to notice.

00:24:38

It's come in so slowly, right? And it is fun.

00:24:41

And we get that hit of dopamine

00:24:43

and we want to keep coming back.

00:24:44

And I think that God wants us to notice

00:24:47

what is actually going on.

00:24:49

I think He's asking us a question today

00:24:52

to all of us, a question

00:24:53

that He's personally been asking me.

00:24:56

I use social media.

00:24:57

I'm not on all the channels.

00:24:59

I only have 1 or 2 accounts.

00:25:00

But I have been a social media user

00:25:03

for years and years now.

00:25:05

And I don't know about you, but does anyone

00:25:07

feel like the online environment is getting worse,

00:25:10

is getting meaner, getting nastier?

00:25:13

I've been seeing that and over the last year

00:25:16

it's really, really been nasty a few times.

00:25:19

And I felt that sting, just like you feel

00:25:21

when you pick up your phone

00:25:23

and you don't have a heart.

00:25:24

As a matter of fact, you have something

00:25:26

much meaner, much more terrible waiting for you,

00:25:33

and you don't get the likes that you want.

00:25:35

Or maybe you do, and you have the experience

00:25:38

all the time because you're getting good at this now,

00:25:40

you're getting really good.

00:25:42

You know exactly what to post.

00:25:43

You know exactly what to do.

00:25:45

Everywhere you go, you're thinking through

00:25:47

the lens of social media because you can post it

00:25:50

and it's going to get you likes.

00:25:51

And every time I feel the sting,

00:25:54

every time that I get online

00:25:57

and I feel the sting of that nasty environment,

00:26:02

I feel God asking me a question.

00:26:05

I think He's asking all of us:

00:26:07

What are you looking for here?

00:26:09

What are you looking for, Alli?

00:26:12

What are you looking for?

00:26:15

What did you come here to fill?

00:26:19

And that really is what we're talking about here.

00:26:23

Do you know what the number one hashtag

00:26:25

on all of social media is, every platform the same,

00:26:28

every single platform dominates this hashtag?

00:26:32

And I think it's a clue to

00:26:34

what we're actually looking for in that space.

00:26:37

The number one worldwide hashtag

00:26:40

on every single platform is #Love.

00:26:45

Now I get it, when we use that hashtag on,

00:26:48

you know, whatever TikTok or Instagram

00:26:51

or whatever you're hashtagging #Love.

00:26:53

It could be your fishing pole

00:26:54

or your dog or something.

00:26:56

You know, we have all these different definitions

00:26:58

of love floating around,

00:26:59

but it dominates our thinking.

00:27:02

And I think that God keeps suggesting to me

00:27:07

that this is what we're doing.

00:27:08

We're actually using likes to try to fill ourselves

00:27:12

with the space in us that was created for love.

00:27:20

And that's why it has such power,

00:27:21

because we were designed to be filled.

00:27:23

We actually were designed to be filled

00:27:25

with a certain kind of love, a real love,

00:27:28

a deep love.

00:27:29

And we're going searching in this dry well

00:27:32

down the path of likes, so that we can experience

00:27:37

a fleeting sensation of what we were actually

00:27:40

created to feel all the time.

00:27:42

There's a source that we're looking for,

00:27:44

we're looking for a source of a love

00:27:45

that can actually fill that space.

00:27:47

And instead the likes keep going out the other end.

00:27:50

It's like a, you know, a leaky bucket,

00:27:52

and it keeps us on the hamster wheel.

00:27:54

And, and we just keep going around

00:27:55

and around and around.

00:27:56

But God put this space within us

00:27:59

that was actually designed to be fulfilled.

00:28:02

There's nothing wrong with the need.

00:28:05

The thing that we have to wonder about is

00:28:09

where we're going to meet it, to grasp,

00:28:12

to finally be filled with something

00:28:14

that sounds a little bit more like

00:28:15

what Paul said we were made for

00:28:17

in the book of Ephesians.

00:28:18

He said that we should be increasingly grasping:

00:28:21

How wide and long and high and deep

00:28:25

is the love of Christ, and to know a love

00:28:28

that surpasses knowledge - that we would be filled

00:28:33

to the measure of all the fullness of God.

00:28:37

That is the space that's in us.

00:28:40

That's the space we were designed for.

00:28:42

Those are spacial words.

00:28:43

How wide and long and high and deep and full

00:28:47

are we of the love that we're looking for.

00:28:51

And maybe you're sitting here and you're like,

00:28:53

"You know what? I'm good, actually.

00:28:55

I'm about to leave because I don't even use social media.

00:28:58

I'm so good."

00:28:59

And I would just challenge you to say

00:29:02

you're definitely looking for likes somewhere.

00:29:07

If it's not social media, cool, it's somewhere else.

00:29:10

Is it in your work?

00:29:12

Is it in how helpful and needed you are to others?

00:29:14

We have this drive in us to be filled

00:29:18

with that kind of being seen, being affirmed,

00:29:22

being approved, the space that God created for love.

00:29:25

In the mid 1800s, you know every generation,

00:29:27

every person, we have like a unique recipe

00:29:30

of how we're seeking it.

00:29:31

It's just an awful lot of us social media

00:29:34

is at the top of the list right now.

00:29:35

In the mid 1800s, Henry David Thoreau,

00:29:38

author, philosopher, thinker type.

00:29:41

Here's what he noticed. He said:

00:29:53

Can you imagine having to wait a month

00:29:56

for a letter that made you feel good?

00:29:57

I mean, you could just pick up your phone right now.

00:30:00

I'm sure your friends are out there

00:30:01

following the rules, liking all your posts.

00:30:04

And he noticed that as this inward space collapses

00:30:10

we look to others to fill it.

00:30:13

And this is not unusual.

00:30:14

It happened in the time of Jesus as well.

00:30:16

Last week, Kyle talked about a story of a woman

00:30:20

that Jesus interacted with at a well.

00:30:23

She is just referred to as

00:30:25

the Samaritan woman at the well.

00:30:27

And He noticed that she was also searching for something.

00:30:30

I just want to read you just a tiny part

00:30:32

of that story that Kyle covered last week

00:30:34

in a different way.

00:30:35

But Jesus saw the place

00:30:37

that she was going for her likes.

00:30:58

Now it's possible, it's possible,

00:31:02

we don't fully know that she was sleeping around

00:31:05

like that first reads to us, but it's not likely.

00:31:09

It's much more likely because of the cultural time

00:31:12

and the woman that she was,

00:31:13

it is much more likely that she would have

00:31:16

either been continually left by death,

00:31:19

constantly being widowed, or divorce,

00:31:22

in which women had no power to execute divorce.

00:31:25

So she would have then, if it was divorce,

00:31:28

been continually abandoned by man after man.

00:31:30

Why? Maybe some fatal flaw,

00:31:32

maybe unable to bear children,

00:31:34

which would have been her primary duty.

00:31:36

But whatever it is, it's something that

00:31:39

has sent her searching for man after man

00:31:42

after man to be seen.

00:31:46

Am I worth something? Can I be affirmed?

00:31:50

Am I approved of?

00:31:52

And she keeps getting the same answer.

00:31:54

And Jesus knows she's after her likes

00:31:57

in a way that He has a different solution for.

00:32:03

So our quest is totally understandable.

00:32:06

As a matter of fact, it's indicative of a divine design.

00:32:10

It's just that we're trying to fill it,

00:32:12

and we are working on a faulty understanding.

00:32:15

There's a faulty understanding

00:32:16

of this #love that we're after.

00:32:19

See, we think love asks this question.

00:32:21

We think love asks the question:

00:32:23

how can I know that you love me?

00:32:26

And so we run around and we want to know,

00:32:29

do you, do you love me? Like.

00:32:31

Do you love me? Heart. Do you love me? Emoji.

00:32:34

Do you love me? Affirm me.

00:32:36

If you love me, surely you would be doing that.

00:32:39

Now this is a very self focused concept of love,

00:32:43

this question how can I know that you love me?

00:32:47

That's what we think love asks

00:32:50

and so we want the affirmation of that.

00:32:53

If we want to know, how can I know that you love me?

00:32:56

The only way I know is if you'll affirm me, right?

00:32:58

And so then when we don't get that,

00:33:00

we get very upset.

00:33:01

Maybe that's the worsening environment online.

00:33:05

Maybe we at some level are recognizing

00:33:08

this isn't working and it's going downhill quickly

00:33:13

because love doesn't actually ask that question.

00:33:16

That's not the question of real love.

00:33:19

That's not the question that

00:33:21

the space in us was designed for.

00:33:25

Real love, biblical love, the love that fills

00:33:31

that space within us asks a different question.

00:33:35

Real love says: how can you know that I love you?

00:33:42

How can you know that I love you?

00:33:47

That is a wildly different thing.

00:33:49

It's a love that looks at others.

00:33:51

It's a love that looks outward.

00:33:53

It's a love that looks to the experience

00:33:55

of the one being loved, not the affirmation

00:33:58

of trying to gain it.

00:34:00

These are wildly different concepts of what love is.

00:34:03

And one, well, gosh,

00:34:06

it should be working on social media.

00:34:08

If the question is how do I know you love me?

00:34:10

Well, 823 likes should do it.

00:34:14

But if the question is how can you know I love you,

00:34:20

and it's coming from that God centered space in us,

00:34:23

you can get as many likes as you want

00:34:26

and it's never going to work.

00:34:29

See, God is love.

00:34:31

That's what 1 John four tells us that God is love.

00:34:34

He embodies love. He authored love.

00:34:36

He created love. He defines love.

00:34:38

And the way He began love actually should tell us

00:34:42

a whole lot about our own desire to experience it.

00:34:45

In John 3, this famous verse that a lot of us

00:34:48

have encountered at some point in our life says this:

00:34:51

For God so loved the world

00:34:54

that He gave His one and only Son,

00:34:56

that whoever believes in Him

00:34:58

shall not perish but have eternal life.

00:35:00

For God so loved that He gave.

00:35:04

He wanted to answer the question

00:35:06

before it was even asked.

00:35:08

How can you know that I love you?

00:35:11

The answer is I gave my one and only Son for your life.

00:35:15

1 John 3 says:

00:35:28

Do you hear the cascading effect

00:35:30

this ultimate love offers His Son?

00:35:34

The Son offers His life.

00:35:35

And then the Son instructs His people

00:35:37

to offer their lives.

00:35:39

And the the tidal wave of actual real love begins.

00:35:43

And it begins with an act from the author

00:35:47

and creator of love itself.

00:35:50

Love is sacrifice.

00:35:52

Love doesn't demand to be filled.

00:35:54

Love empties itself.

00:35:56

This is -- This is the kind of experience

00:35:59

with love that we are just dying for.

00:36:02

And it's the only kind of love that really fills us.

00:36:05

But instead we're settling for likes

00:36:07

and they just keep going out the bottom,

00:36:09

whatever that looks like,

00:36:10

whatever kind of being seen, being affirmed,

00:36:13

being approved of, whatever that looks like

00:36:15

in your life, it's just going to fall

00:36:17

right out the bottom because it's

00:36:19

a false image of what love is and how love behaves.

00:36:22

Only the love of God fills that space.

00:36:26

Only the love of God fills that space inside of us.

00:36:30

This is what Jesus said again to the woman at the well.

00:36:33

It's part of what motivated this entire month

00:36:35

where we're looking at how we get filled.

00:36:54

The love of God is that living water,

00:36:58

because God is love and His love is what fills.

00:37:04

Let me tell you, God is not on a quest to be liked.

00:37:08

If that was His mission,

00:37:11

it might not be looking that great sometimes, right?

00:37:14

God is not on a quest to be liked.

00:37:17

God is on a quest to tell you and to tell me

00:37:22

that we have already been loved,

00:37:24

that we have already been loved.

00:37:27

He's not trying to get you to approve of Him.

00:37:29

He's trying desperately to tell us that

00:37:33

back in the very beginning, He decided to love

00:37:38

and so He sent His Son as an embodiment of that love.

00:37:42

And you can be filled with it only one way,

00:37:45

because of what it actually is,

00:37:47

the only way to be filled with it

00:37:49

is to receive the OG, the original act of love,

00:37:57

the sacrifice of His Son.

00:37:59

Here's what it says about what we get filled with

00:38:02

when we receive that, it says:

00:38:19

Now we were -- Yeah.

00:38:21

I mean, that's a pretty amazing situation there,

00:38:24

because what does it say

00:38:25

we get the very presence of God within us.

00:38:28

That's this constant filling.

00:38:30

And it's not imaginary.

00:38:31

You don't have to close your eyes and conjure it up.

00:38:33

It is literally the Holy Spirit,

00:38:35

the presence of God that comes to live within you

00:38:38

and begins to fill you and fill you and fill you.

00:38:42

And it answers all the questions,

00:38:45

every single question that comes out of

00:38:47

that God sized space that we're going to social media.

00:38:49

Do you love me? Do you love me?

00:38:51

Do you see me? Am I worth something?

00:38:53

Am I liked? Am I approved of?

00:38:54

Am I affirmed in your eyes?

00:38:56

It answers all of those questions because

00:38:59

the second part of that verse says,

00:39:01

while we were powerless,

00:39:04

Christ died for the ungodly.

00:39:06

That's you and me. That's you and me.

00:39:09

We weren't born worthy of that kind of love.

00:39:11

He loved to make us worthy of His presence

00:39:18

and His love, and we get to be filled with it.

00:39:20

And this is how it works.

00:39:22

And I'll tell you what, social media

00:39:24

is never going to tell you that you're worth something.

00:39:26

As a matter of fact, the longer you're on it,

00:39:29

the less you're going to get that message.

00:39:32

I forget what the percentage was now,

00:39:33

67% of us or whatever feel worse about our lives

00:39:37

after we're on social media.

00:39:39

Social media is not the way that you feel

00:39:43

seen and worth something and worthy

00:39:46

and affirmed and approved and liked.

00:39:49

And we will never stop chasing it there

00:39:51

until we are actually begin to be filled

00:39:53

with the love of God.

00:39:55

Otherwise, we will keep returning to the same dry well,

00:40:01

until we let love change us.

00:40:04

See it does change us.

00:40:07

It makes us firm.

00:40:08

It establishes us certainty.

00:40:11

In another part of Romans, it says that

00:40:13

God's Spirit puts His seal of ownership on us.

00:40:16

He he chooses us and loves us and sticks with us

00:40:19

and starts to make us firm and assured of

00:40:22

who He is and who we are,

00:40:23

and that He has already loved us.

00:40:27

The issue actually has been settled.

00:40:30

You have already been loved.

00:40:37

And when we get that, we start to need fewer

00:40:39

and fewer and fewer likes.

00:40:42

And it started to remind me

00:40:44

when I was thinking about this topic

00:40:45

of a book that I used to read to my kids.

00:40:47

And I went up to my kids' bookshelf

00:40:50

in one of their rooms, where I keep

00:40:51

some of the special books that I used to read them

00:40:53

when they were babies.

00:40:55

I even have the inscription still there

00:40:57

from the friend that gave this to us.

00:40:58

And it's called You are Special.

00:41:00

I don't know if you've ever heard of this book.

00:41:02

If not, you might want to get it for yourself.

00:41:04

I'm just saying.

00:41:05

There's a town full of wooden people.

00:41:08

They're called Wemmicks.

00:41:09

I'm not going to read the whole book to you,

00:41:11

but I just wanted to share two little pages.

00:41:16

It says all day, every day

00:41:18

the Wemmicks did the same thing.

00:41:20

They gave each other stickers.

00:41:22

Each Wemmick had a box of golden star stickers

00:41:25

and a box of gray dot stickers.

00:41:26

Up and down the streets, all over the city,

00:41:28

people spent their days sticking stars

00:41:31

or dots on one another.

00:41:33

The pretty ones with smooth wood and fine paint,

00:41:36

they always got stars.

00:41:38

But if the wood was rough or the paint was chipped,

00:41:40

the Wemmicks gave dots.

00:41:43

Does that sound familiar?

00:41:45

Now there was a poor old dotted guy named Punchinello.

00:41:51

Oh, poor Punchinello.

00:41:52

But he meets this other Wemmick

00:41:54

who doesn't have either.

00:41:56

She's completely clear and he's like,

00:41:59

"How did you get that way?"

00:42:00

And she says, "You know what?

00:42:01

If you want to know the answer to that,

00:42:03

you should go see the one that made us,

00:42:05

the guy in the wood shop. His name's Eli.

00:42:07

You should pay him a visit."

00:42:08

And he's like, "I think I will."

00:42:11

Here's what Eli says to him.

00:42:14

"The stickers only stick if they matter to you.

00:42:19

The more you trust my love,

00:42:21

the less you care about their stickers."

00:42:27

This is the love of God.

00:42:30

This is what the love of God does to all of us.

00:42:32

It demagnetizes us, it de-sticks us, whatever.

00:42:36

Somebody tries to like you, fine.

00:42:39

Somebody tells you you're a dangerous freak

00:42:41

and you can -- they can shove your Bible

00:42:43

up your you know what,

00:42:44

not that that's ever happened to me.

00:42:47

Fine, fine.

00:42:50

Because the love of God has made you firm,

00:42:55

it's told you who you are.

00:42:57

It has already loved you

00:43:00

and answered all the questions:

00:43:01

Am I seen, am I valued, am I worth something?

00:43:05

And the love of God is what decides that in your life.

00:43:09

And I know that that sounds amazing, right?

00:43:12

I mean, we're all working on it.

00:43:13

Maybe someday we're going to get there.

00:43:15

And I'm just going to tell you,

00:43:16

I've been around the block

00:43:18

on this social media thing multiple times.

00:43:21

I've given it up, I've gone back,

00:43:22

I've done it differently.

00:43:23

And I got to tell you, I just have three

00:43:26

honest to goodness practical recommendations for you

00:43:29

from what I have experimented with

00:43:31

and what I've discovered,

00:43:32

talking to God about this topic,

00:43:35

there's three things I want to recommend you do.

00:43:37

Number one, I want you to get off of social media

00:43:41

long enough to see what it is you're trying to fill.

00:43:45

Just pull the plug until you understand.

00:43:48

And I won't need to tell you,

00:43:50

maybe that doesn't even make any sense to you.

00:43:52

It will. Trust me.

00:43:53

You pull the plug, you're going to know.

00:43:55

So, just get off long enough that you can figure out

00:43:59

what it is you're trying to fill.

00:44:00

And then talk to God about that.

00:44:02

Second one is believe the science, friends.

00:44:04

Believe the science.

00:44:06

Look up the studies yourself.

00:44:07

More than 30 minutes a day,

00:44:09

you're starting to get into those high percentages

00:44:11

of all the things that you don't want to have.

00:44:13

Believe the science and set a limit.

00:44:16

And the third one is stop notifications right now.

00:44:22

Stop all notifications to the front of your phone immediately.

00:44:25

I know you use your phone for tons of other stuff

00:44:27

that's completely fine and worthy purposes.

00:44:30

Stop the notifications now.

00:44:32

Don't get played by the phone in your pocket.

00:44:34

It is playing you. It is pulling you in.

00:44:36

It is creating a cycle.

00:44:38

It is continuing to push you to quench this thirst

00:44:43

in a way that is never going to work.

00:44:47

But the one thing I really want you to do,

00:44:49

I want you to do those three things

00:44:50

because I think they're good.

00:44:52

I think they're smart.

00:44:53

I think we need to do practical things in our lives

00:44:55

to actually deal with the phones

00:44:57

that we're not going to stop carrying around.

00:44:59

And also, I want you to do the one thing

00:45:03

that's the must have to quench the thirst.

00:45:07

I want you to receive the sacrifice,

00:45:12

which is the same thing as saying the love of Jesus.

00:45:17

If you want to receive that in the first time,

00:45:21

or for the hundredth time or for the millionth time,

00:45:23

just put your hands out open in your lap right now.

00:45:28

You can just close your eyes and I'm going to pray,

00:45:30

and I'm going to ask because it's okay for us

00:45:33

to go to God and just ask for Him to fill us.

00:45:35

So I'm going to do that right now.

00:45:37

Lord, we have desires and needs and thirsts

00:45:41

that You made us for.

00:45:43

Would You Yourself come to every person

00:45:48

with their outstretched hands right now

00:45:50

and fill us with Your love?

00:45:54

Help us to receive in a new way that

00:45:57

the sacrifice that Jesus made for us

00:46:00

and fill up that space created in us with Your love.

00:46:08

In Jesus's name, Amen.

00:46:13

You may notice that this last week and this week,

00:46:17

we have designed the service a little bit differently.

00:46:20

There's a reason for that because

00:46:22

as we think about and talk about the topics

00:46:26

that we're thirsty for, we want to actually

00:46:28

create an awareness of that need, of that thirst.

00:46:33

And then we want to do some things together

00:46:36

to fill it, to go to the good place,

00:46:39

to be filled up by it.

00:46:41

And so we actually have moved worship

00:46:44

to the back part of the service

00:46:45

just for that reason.

00:46:47

Because what the hope is is that all of us

00:46:50

will be more aware of the thirst that we have

00:46:54

and will come to the right place, the good place,

00:46:56

the loving place to get filled up.

00:46:58

So we're going to worship together now,

00:47:00

and we're actually going to start our worship

00:47:03

with communion.

00:47:04

I know you picked up one of these on your way in,

00:47:07

and worship is our most ancient practice. I'm sorry --

00:47:10

Communion is our most ancient practice of worship.

00:47:14

And also it is a way to receive again

00:47:19

and remember again the greatest act of love

00:47:25

that has ever taken place,

00:47:27

the act of love that defines love itself,

00:47:30

the sacrifice of Jesus on your behalf.

00:47:32

And I'm going to read from the book of Matthew,

00:47:35

the Last Supper, where Jesus told us

00:47:37

exactly what this worship means.

00:47:39

It says: while they were eating,

00:47:40

Jesus took bread, and when He had given thanks,

00:47:43

He broke it, He gave it to His disciples, saying,

00:47:45

"Take and eat, this is my body."

00:47:49

So take and eat and be filled

00:47:52

with the body of Christ that was broken for you.

00:48:02

Then He took a cup and when He had given thanks,

00:48:05

He gave it to them, saying,

00:48:06

"Drink from it, all of you.

00:48:08

This is my blood of the covenant,

00:48:10

which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."

00:48:15

Take and drink the blood of Christ shed for you.

00:48:25

Lord, thank You for Your sacrifice.

00:48:29

Thank You for filling us anew with Your love.

00:48:32

In Jesus's name, Amen.

00:48:35

Let's worship together.

00:48:39

- Our identity is in Him and our identity is in His love.

00:48:45

So God, even in this moment, remind us now

00:48:48

who we are and who You are.

01:05:36

- I want you to go back into your week

01:05:39

with these words from Romans 8 on your mind:

01:05:41

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

01:05:45

Shall trouble or hardship, or persecution,

01:05:48

or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?

01:05:51

Knowing all these things,

01:05:53

we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

01:05:57

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life,

01:06:01

nor angels, nor demons,

01:06:03

neither the present, nor the future,

01:06:05

nor any powers, nor height, nor depth,

01:06:07

nor anything else in all creation will be able

01:06:11

to separate us from the love of God

01:06:13

that is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

01:06:17

Those are the words that determine your worth.

01:06:20

Those are the words when you have the question

01:06:22

am I seen, am I worthwhile,

01:06:24

am I affirmed, am I approved?

01:06:26

And I took a stab at rewriting it.

01:06:29

So I want you to listen to how it might sound

01:06:32

when you pick up your phone.

01:06:34

What shall separate you from the love of Christ?

01:06:37

Shall, likes or comments, anxiety or depression,

01:06:40

followers or trolls,

01:06:41

the constant threat of bullying or being canceled?

01:06:44

No. In all these things,

01:06:46

we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us.

01:06:50

For I am convinced that neither

01:06:52

online hate nor online love,

01:06:54

neither influencers or haters,

01:06:56

neither big tech or search engines,

01:06:58

neither popularity or total obscurity,

01:07:01

or anything else in all the online world

01:07:04

will ever be able to separate you from

01:07:08

the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

01:07:11

Amen? Amen.

01:07:14

I want you to go into your week knowing that

01:07:17

the sacrifice of Jesus settled the issue,

01:07:19

you've already been loved. Have a great week.

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