How the Comparison Game is a Losing Battle

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- Well, hey, welcome to Crossroads. I'm Eric Cash.

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- And I'm Avery Reider.

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- And we are so excited that you are joining us today.

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For the past couple of weeks,

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we have been in a series looking into

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some of the ways that we try to fill our lives

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with hope and meaning and life,

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and we go searching for things that will satisfy us.

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But we're discovering that anything outside of God

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leaves us feeling empty and thirsty.

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- Yeah. Today we are going to see some people

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who have come to the conclusion that

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they want God to fulfill them, and they are ready

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to give their entire lives to Him

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through something called baptism.

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- At Crossroads we say that baptism

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is an outward physical expression

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of an inward spiritual reality.

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The Bible tells us that when we go under the water,

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we are dying to our old selves

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and mirroring Jesus dying.

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And in the same way that God raised Jesus from the dead,

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when we come out of the water,

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we are being raised to new life.

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- If you're interested in baptism,

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we would love to help you

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take that next step in your journey.

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We believe God's redemption story

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is for you anywhere you live,

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and so we'll come to you to make that happen.

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Literally anywhere.

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Just head to Crossroads.net/baptism

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to start the conversation.

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- Yeah, it's really the biggest decision we'll ever make.

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I made the decision when I was seven years old.

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You can make that decision.

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Right now we're about to see

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some other people make that decision.

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So take the time, wherever you are.

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We're getting ready to celebrate

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with those who are getting ready to be baptized

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and we're going to worship together.

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- When we say holy to the Lord, what's that mean?

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It sounds spiritual. It sounds Christian-y.

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It sounds religious.

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It's a call for who God is and who we're not.

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There is a God, and we are not Him.

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The book of Isaiah 6 gives a heavenly vision.

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Isaiah has a heavenly vision of what's happening

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in the heavens right now, actually.

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It says this: I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne,

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high and lifted up, and the train of His robe

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filled the temple.

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Above Him stood the seraphim,

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each had six wings, with two he covered his face,

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and with two he covered his feet,

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and with two he flew.

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And one called to the other and said,

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"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty.

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The whole earth is full of His glory."

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These are created beings who do nothing

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but say to God, "You're different,

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you're different, you're different."

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That's what holy means.

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"You're distinct, You're distinct, You're distinct.

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You're other than, You're other than,

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You're other than.

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You're not me, You're not me, You're not me.

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You're higher than me, You're higher than me,

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You're higher than me.

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You're beyond me, beyond me, beyond me.

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You're better than me, better than me, better me.

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You need worship. You need worship.

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You need worship because nothing is like You.

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Nothing has ever been like You."

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And they flutter around all day,

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two wings over their eyes because

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they can't bear to look at Him He's so different.

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Two wings holding their feet

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because they don't want the dirtiness

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and a commonness close to Him.

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And two wings fluttering around,

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reminding each other, "He's holy, He's great.

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He's above, He's beyond.

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He's not me. He's not you. He's God."

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You want to touch of that today?

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I do, I need a touch of that every day

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because I need a touch of something

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that's beyond me, that isn't me.

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I don't need a dumb God down

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and say He's my co-pilot.

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The big guy in the sky.

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No, He's not. He's holy.

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He's scary. He's beyond. He's intense.

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And He loves you.

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And He warrants us worshiping Him

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to remind ourselves to tell Him,

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"I get it. You're You and I'm me. You're holy."

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- That's what we were made to do,

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to stand in awe of Him, respond to Him.

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- Lord, I surrender to You.

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Like a friend of mine said today,

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I'm sorry for anything I put in front of You.

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I'm sorry for the things I put in front of You,

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because there is nothing that belongs in front of you.

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You are holy, supreme, above all.

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My heart's desire is to say nothing will sit

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on the throne of my life except You.

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Thank You for new life that we saw in these tubs tonight,

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for new life in my heart in this moment.

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I praise you, Jesus.

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And I pray all this because of who You are. Amen.

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Yeah. Come on, come on.

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Who's glad they came today?

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Come on, come on.

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Hey, can we celebrate all the families

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represented by these baptisms tonight,

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all the lives changed for the heart of Jesus?

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So so good.

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Hey, if you're online with us, so glad you're with us.

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If you're in the room right now,

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why don't you turn to somebody and say,

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"Aren't you glad you came? I'm glad you're here."

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This is for all the college major changers,

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the bored professionals whose work is leaving them empty,

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or anyone wondering, "What's next?"

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Anyone feeling stuck or purposeless.

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That's all of us sometimes, right?

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Like, is this it? Did I miss something?

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Isn't there something more?

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If you've ever wondered if what you're doing matters

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or how to get out of a rut, you are what is called normal,

00:24:58

and there's an opportunity right around the corner.

00:25:02

The daily grind can wear us all down sometimes

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and we all have moments where we need to recapture our joy

00:25:07

and discover what we were made for.

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No one wants to live life without really living.

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We all want to make a difference and we all want to know

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that what we're doing actually matters

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Now I know you're busy, but you're not too busy

00:25:22

to figure out how to make the most of your one and only life.

00:25:26

Try MADE,

00:25:27

it's an on-demand, go at your own pace find your purpose tool.

00:25:31

Do it on your own time

00:25:32

when it works for you, but don't skip it.

00:25:33

You were made for more.

00:25:49

- Made is an online experience designed to help you

00:25:53

get unstuck and into a place of thriving.

00:25:55

Our hope is that it would help you

00:25:57

better understand yourself

00:25:58

and God's purpose for your life.

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- You'll meet weekly to go through content,

00:26:02

and some of it will be individual

00:26:05

at your own pace exercises.

00:26:07

We'll begin August 20th, so make sure

00:26:09

you head to Crossroads.net to sign up by then.

00:26:12

- Yeah.

00:26:13

And if Made isn't the right thing for you right now,

00:26:15

we also have hundreds of other groups

00:26:17

you can join meeting online and in person.

00:26:19

Jesus spent a lot of time around people,

00:26:21

and we believe that life is better together.

00:26:23

If you're not already in a group

00:26:24

or living in community with others,

00:26:26

we encourage you to lean in and find one

00:26:28

that's right for you at Crossroads.net/groups.

00:26:31

- Yeah, and whether it's Made,

00:26:33

whether it's groups,

00:26:34

whether it's the weekly service

00:26:36

that you're watching right now,

00:26:37

just about everything we do at Crossroads

00:26:39

is designed to help you grow.

00:26:41

And we actually believe that there are

00:26:43

seven practices, all based in Scripture,

00:26:45

that when you do them will grow you.

00:26:48

- One of them is living generously,

00:26:50

or simply put, giving.

00:26:52

Yes, talking about money can be weird

00:26:53

and uncomfortable, and we believe that

00:26:56

generosity makes ordinary lives extraordinary.

00:26:59

Like working out and lifting weights,

00:27:01

you might feel some soreness,

00:27:02

but it leads to better health in the end.

00:27:04

If you'd like to step into that,

00:27:06

you can do so at crossroads.net/give.

00:27:09

- Hey, once again, thanks for joining us.

00:27:11

In this series called Thirsty, we thought,

00:27:14

why not make an energy drink?

00:27:15

And with every energy drink,

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there is always an epic commercial to go with it.

00:27:22

[happy music]

00:27:26

[birds chirping]

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- [sighs] So refreshing.

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Nothing is more satisfying than natural pure water

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flowing from nature's bosom.

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When you reach for a drink to quench your thirst,

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make sure it is water.

00:27:47

[FX explosion]

00:27:48

Don't drink from some dysentery ridden

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raccoon swimming pool.

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- Nature sucks.

00:27:53

- You need a drink that says, "I'm here to party

00:27:55

and I might have just swallowed a cicada.

00:27:57

- Cicada. [FX explosion]

00:27:59

- Something that'll swell your tongue

00:28:00

and make your insides glow in the dark.

00:28:02

- Radiation. - Nature.

00:28:04

- Cicada. - Radiation.

00:28:07

You need Thirsty. - Thirsty.

00:28:10

- A drink designed by scientists at a lab

00:28:13

in the basement of your mom's house.

00:28:15

It's full of all kinds of things you can't spell:

00:28:22

So the next time you got a thirst,

00:28:23

grab the drink that will do absolutely nothing for you.

00:28:27

- Thirsty.

00:28:28

- It comes in six flavors that aren't real flavors.

00:28:31

- Six flavors.

00:28:38

- Thirsty.

00:28:39

-The drink that will leave you wanting more.

00:28:42

[FX explosion]

00:28:46

- What has been happening since I've been gone?

00:28:51

Dude, who stole my church? What is --

00:28:54

Hey, if you're new to Crossroads,

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hey, my name is Brian Tome,

00:28:57

what's known as a Senior Pastor around here.

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I've been out for about eight weeks.

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Thank you very much for giving me the freedom to do that.

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Thank you, everybody.

00:29:04

So honored to be a part of you.

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Really, really good.

00:29:07

Before I get going on anything else today,

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let me just address the elephant in the room:

00:29:13

my hair, my hair. [cheers and applause]

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I don't know why you people are so fixated on my hair.

00:29:22

More people talked about it and emailed.

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"How long is his hair?"

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Okay, so here's the story.

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I haven't had long hair forever and ever.

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I just wanted to see what it was like.

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So I took a few months to do it,

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and I don't like it. Don't like it at all.

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But since I had all that hair, now I'm going,

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let's start trimming it back

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and just do some fun stuff with it.

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So that's where I am right now.

00:29:43

I may come in next week with

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a little sumu ponytail top of my head.

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We'll see what happens. I don't know.

00:29:49

I'm just having fun.

00:29:50

And today I'm going to have some fun too

00:29:52

because as I preach, because I want to give you

00:29:56

some stuff I think is going to really, really help you.

00:30:00

And some bells are going to go off

00:30:03

and your life is going to get better

00:30:05

and you're going to understand God better.

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I think that's going to happen.

00:30:08

So let's pray before I dig into it.

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God, I thank you for the ability to do things

00:30:14

that we wouldn't normally do, which is

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come to a dark room and hear and be pushed.

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I thank You, God that you've brought me back

00:30:20

to this dark room and these great people.

00:30:23

I thank You that You've been putting

00:30:25

something on my heart, and I ask that

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it gets out in the ears and in the minds

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and in the hearts of those who You brought here today.

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Help me to be clear and helpful

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and most importantly, accurate.

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And I pray these things according to

00:30:40

the character and identity of Jesus. Amen.

00:30:45

The church I worked at in Pittsburgh

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before I moved to Cincinnati to help start Crossroads,

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it was a smaller church, 400.

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That's a pretty big size church,

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but for what many of us may be used to

00:30:57

on the smaller side.

00:30:58

And we started having a little bit of

00:31:00

a financial crisis because

00:31:02

the toilets weren't flushing and things

00:31:04

were not running in terms of water was concerned.

00:31:07

And the reason was because we were on a well

00:31:10

and the well wasn't pumping out the same amount of water.

00:31:13

And so we got a -- I was on the board

00:31:15

because I was a -- I went to seminary,

00:31:17

was an associate pastor and all that stuff.

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So I was on the elder board,

00:31:20

even though I wasn't eld-ing at all.

00:31:22

I was very young.

00:31:23

And so everyone was stressing out because

00:31:25

we've got to tap into city water

00:31:27

and we don't have the money to do that.

00:31:29

Here's how much it's going to cost to do that.

00:31:31

And it was a whole thing.

00:31:32

And then one guy on the board

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just said something really profound.

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He said, "Well, if the well is dry,

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let's just dig another well."

00:31:45

And everyone around the table went,

00:31:47

"[indiscernible] Yeah, yeah,

00:31:50

we've got enough property here.

00:31:52

Let's just dig another well. Problem solved."

00:31:58

This is a physical reality of

00:32:00

what's happening with many of us.

00:32:03

Our well is dry.

00:32:05

There's no moisture in there

00:32:08

and we're sucking wind.

00:32:10

The pump is running.

00:32:11

We're doing what we think we need to do

00:32:13

to get some moisture, but it's not happening.

00:32:15

So we keep doing the same thing we're doing,

00:32:17

trying really, really harder.

00:32:19

And yet our soul is as parched as ever.

00:32:23

And what I want to encourage us to do is,

00:32:25

hey, let's dig another well.

00:32:27

Let's try something different where there might be

00:32:30

some moisture and where you might actually

00:32:32

find the presence of God.

00:32:34

And one of the ways that we are sucking air,

00:32:37

where it's not going to give us life,

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is what I'm calling comparisonitis.

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It's competing with other people

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and comparing ourselves with other people.

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And we have an endless opportunity to do that

00:32:50

because we endlessly bump up with other people

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and we feel like I'm not stacking up to them.

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I'm a loser.

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Or we feel like you're not stacking up to me.

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I'm a winner.

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Or we feel like we're getting behind

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or we're getting ahead and our pride gets there

00:33:03

and we just have this exhausting inner conversation

00:33:06

of, "Should I be doing more?

00:33:08

How come I don't have that?

00:33:09

Should I be doing something different?

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How are they doing something I can't do?

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Why do they have something I don't have?

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Why can't they figure out what I have?

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Why can't they figure out how to make life work

00:33:17

like I apparently have, at least compared to them?"

00:33:20

And there's this ongoing competition

00:33:23

that we have with everybody around us.

00:33:26

And competition can actually be a good thing.

00:33:30

It can be a really good thing.

00:33:31

Competition is really good in youth sports.

00:33:35

It's really good because it teaches kids,

00:33:37

sorry, not everybody wins.

00:33:40

And not only that, the way you win in life

00:33:43

is you prepare for life.

00:33:45

You do the dirty things before the game.

00:33:47

You work out, you listen to your coach

00:33:50

and that's how you get ahead in life.

00:33:52

You win in life by doing things

00:33:53

other people don't want to do and work hard.

00:33:55

Competition in youth sports is is really, really good.

00:33:58

Competition in the business place

00:34:01

is probably really, really good because

00:34:03

people want to make more money,

00:34:04

businesses want to make more money.

00:34:06

And so what do you have to do?

00:34:07

You have to have the right talent

00:34:08

and have the right talent.

00:34:09

You've got to pay more to have the right talent.

00:34:12

So probably everyone's game gets elevated

00:34:14

a little bit, a little bit, because

00:34:16

you want to be included on that team

00:34:18

and you want to be worth it,

00:34:19

and you want to get more resources.

00:34:20

And business is incentivized to pay

00:34:24

large amounts of money because the business wants to win.

00:34:26

It isn't bad.

00:34:28

In nonprofit world, 501c3

00:34:32

there's sometimes competition is really good

00:34:34

because there's so many grant dollars

00:34:35

that are out there.

00:34:36

And I want to make sure our organization

00:34:38

is going as well as it can so that

00:34:40

someone's going to write us the grant.

00:34:42

In medicine competition can be good because

00:34:44

you want the grant to come and fund your research

00:34:47

so you can have a competition fight against cancer

00:34:50

to do all these.

00:34:51

So in all these areas, competition is actually good

00:34:54

and it can be healthy.

00:34:55

But where it is never healthy

00:34:57

is when we compete with another person

00:35:00

and they don't even know the competition is happening.

00:35:03

Actually they do because they're doing the same thing.

00:35:07

This is a normal thing.

00:35:08

Now this is not a modern American problem.

00:35:12

This is a human problem.

00:35:14

This is the way we all are.

00:35:16

And this is actually the way

00:35:17

the earliest disciples of Jesus were.

00:35:20

They were competing with each other.

00:35:24

They were measuring each other up

00:35:26

according to their own standard of themselves.

00:35:29

We have James and John, brothers, come to Jesus.

00:35:32

And actually their mom comes as well and says,

00:35:35

"Hey, I want my boys to sit on Your right

00:35:39

and Your left hand whenever You get into heaven."

00:35:41

And the rest of the disciples are watching this

00:35:43

going, "What? Who says they get those spots?"

00:35:46

They're kind of upset that

00:35:48

their mom isn't fighting for them.

00:35:51

Like, all of a sudden the competition is on.

00:35:52

"Wait wait wait, why do they get those spots?"

00:35:55

In fact, there was a little tension,

00:35:56

ongoing tension within the 12 original disciples

00:35:59

because Jesus gave special and preferential

00:36:01

treatment to Peter, James, and John.

00:36:03

He gave them opportunities that the others didn't have.

00:36:06

He took them places that other people didn't go to.

00:36:08

He says things to them He doesn't say to other people.

00:36:11

They go to a place called, well, it's up in a mountain

00:36:13

and it's known as the Transfiguration.

00:36:15

And it's a place where He takes them up

00:36:16

and the rest of the disciples, the other nine,

00:36:18

are going, "There they go again,

00:36:20

Peter, James and John. There they go. There they --

00:36:23

What do they have that we don't have?

00:36:24

What's going on?"

00:36:25

And Jesus gets transfigured in front of them.

00:36:28

He sheds, if you will, His humanness

00:36:32

and they see His heavenly glory, His holiness,

00:36:35

and He glows and they're utterly freaked out.

00:36:38

But these three have that, and the other don't.

00:36:40

And inside of that we have Peter and John,

00:36:43

inside of that click of three,

00:36:44

they still compete with each other.

00:36:46

They're comparing each other.

00:36:47

And by the way, as I'm talking about this stuff,

00:36:49

this is never seen as good.

00:36:51

It's never seen as healthy.

00:36:52

It's just what it is. It's where we are.

00:36:55

In John 21, let's look at that right now.

00:36:59

John, written by -- the book of John.

00:37:01

John and Peter apparently are always competing.

00:37:05

And in the resurrection account,

00:37:08

I talked about during the last Easter that we had,

00:37:10

John goes to pains to goes to --

00:37:13

Great pains to detail, for whatever reason,

00:37:16

that he runs faster than Peter.

00:37:19

Said, "We went to the tomb,

00:37:21

and the one who Jesus loved got there first."

00:37:24

That was him.

00:37:26

"And then we went back to the disciples,

00:37:28

and then I got there first."

00:37:29

Like, what does that add to the story?

00:37:32

Well, what it adds to the story is

00:37:33

you and I can see like, "Oh, even the disciples

00:37:35

who were close to Jesus, they had issues.

00:37:37

And so when I have an issue,

00:37:39

I shouldn't feel like I'm disqualified

00:37:41

because those guys had issues."

00:37:42

And one of their issues was competition with each other.

00:37:45

Check this out. Here it goes.

00:37:46

John 20:21 and following says this:

00:37:53

Peter turned and saw the disciple

00:37:55

whom Jesus loved following them.

00:37:59

The disciple whom Jesus loved.

00:38:01

What am I reading from?

00:38:02

I'm reading from the book of John.

00:38:05

How's John describing himself?

00:38:07

"The one that Jesus loved."

00:38:09

By the way, about right here.

00:38:10

Peter is around, let me tell you

00:38:12

"I'm the one that Jesus loved."

00:38:15

Love that. And then:

00:38:18

The one whom Jesus loved leaned back

00:38:20

against Him during the supper and had said,

00:38:22

"Lord, who is it that is going to betray You?"

00:38:25

And when Peter saw him, he said to Jesus,

00:38:28

"Lord, what about this man?"

00:38:30

So Peter's getting maybe a little jealous.

00:38:32

He's competing a bit with John.

00:38:34

John is teasing him. He's like close to Jesus.

00:38:37

He's leaning back up against His chest.

00:38:39

They're having kind of a bromance moment there.

00:38:41

He's talking to Him and Peter's going --

00:38:44

He's feeling left out. He says, "Hey, hey, hey."

00:38:47

He says, "Well, what about this man? What?

00:38:50

God, what are You doing with him?

00:38:51

Jesus, what are you doing with him?"

00:38:53

Jesus said to him, "If it's my will that

00:38:56

he remain until I come, what is that to you?

00:38:59

You follow Me!"

00:39:02

So the saying spread abroad amongst the brothers

00:39:05

that the disciple was not to die;

00:39:07

yet Jesus did not say to him that he was not to die,

00:39:11

but "If it's my will that he remain until I come,

00:39:13

what is that to you?"

00:39:16

Of the 12 original disciples, only one of them

00:39:19

dies of natural causes of old age.

00:39:21

That's John, who we're talking about right here.

00:39:23

He dies at the island of Patmos.

00:39:24

One day I want to get there.

00:39:26

It's one of the places I'd like to get to, I haven't been to.

00:39:28

He's the only one.

00:39:29

All the rest of them, Judas committed suicide.

00:39:31

And all the rest of them,

00:39:33

they were tortured and killed for their faith.

00:39:35

John's the only one who dies of natural causes.

00:39:37

Was Jesus giving a little hint there

00:39:39

when He says this? Maybe.

00:39:41

But what He's saying is this, "Peter,

00:39:44

you're looking at what the relationship

00:39:46

I have with John right now and how he's close to me,

00:39:49

and you're worried about who's going to live longer?

00:39:51

If I want him to live forever,

00:39:53

What is that to you?"

00:39:54

This, my friends, sear this into your memory,

00:39:57

this will serve you very well for the rest of your life.

00:40:00

Witty, witty. What is that to you?

00:40:04

Jesus gets witty with him. What is that to you?

00:40:08

Jesus says, "I'm doing things in his life.

00:40:10

And if I'm going to do this in his life

00:40:12

and he's going to live forever,

00:40:13

what is that to you? What does that matter to you?"

00:40:15

And at the same time He'd say

00:40:17

something like that to John.

00:40:18

He'd say, "John, if I'm going to have Peter

00:40:20

be the rock of the church,

00:40:22

if I'm going to have him do it, what is that to you?"

00:40:25

And God would say that to all of us

00:40:28

when we look at other people competing with

00:40:29

who are getting ahead of us in business,

00:40:31

who are getting ahead of us in our families,

00:40:33

who have bodies that are better than ours,

00:40:35

who have opportunities that are better than ours,

00:40:37

who have parents that are better than ours,

00:40:39

who have personalities that are better than ours,

00:40:41

who have health that are better than ours.

00:40:43

And we're going, "Why not me? Why do you have? Why?"

00:40:46

God would say to us, "Hey, if I'm doing this

00:40:48

in that person's life, what is that to you?

00:40:52

That has nothing to do with you."

00:40:54

That has to do with them and God.

00:40:57

Not you and them. Them and God.

00:41:02

We have this this thing that we're sucked in,

00:41:06

this dehydration vortex in our culture

00:41:10

where everything has to be fairsies

00:41:13

and everybody should have the same

00:41:15

and I need -- or actually not the same,

00:41:17

I just need to be a little bit better than you.

00:41:19

And I need to feel like I'm better than you,

00:41:22

and I need to be honorable, and I need to be humble,

00:41:24

at least looking like I'm humble.

00:41:26

And I need to kind of be going.

00:41:28

And I use you as a barometer as to

00:41:32

whether or not I'm doing well in life.

00:41:34

And if you tell me I'm doing well in life

00:41:37

because you're not doing as well as me,

00:41:38

I feel good about myself.

00:41:40

If you tell me I'm not doing well in life

00:41:42

because you're doing better than me,

00:41:43

whatever arbitrary thing we have that makes us

00:41:46

feel like I'm competing with you, then we go down.

00:41:52

And no matter whether we're winning or losing

00:41:54

in an individual competition,

00:41:56

our spiritual vitality is being sucked dry.

00:41:59

We're in a hydration vortex. [suction sound]

00:42:04

We're doing things that will never bring us life.

00:42:06

We're looking for moisture and mental gymnastics

00:42:13

that will never get us there.

00:42:14

And this is normal.

00:42:16

It's called social comparison theory SCT,

00:42:21

at least that's what it was coined in the '40s

00:42:23

when someone identified this. Here's what it says:

00:42:26

Social comparison theory proposed that

00:42:28

there is a primitive drive within individuals

00:42:31

to compare themselves with others

00:42:33

in order to evaluate their own opinions

00:42:36

and abilities.

00:42:37

It's a primitive drive. It's primal.

00:42:42

It's in us for whatever reason.

00:42:44

But just because it's primitive and it's primal

00:42:47

doesn't mean that it's healthy.

00:42:51

It's a primitive drive to consume

00:42:54

as many calories as you can.

00:42:56

I don't know if you know that, it is.

00:42:58

Anthropologists would say it's back when

00:43:00

we were all literal hunters and gatherers,

00:43:02

and you don't know when you're going to be able

00:43:04

to kill something or pick something again.

00:43:05

So when you can eat, you need to stuff

00:43:07

and jam calories in you now because you don't know

00:43:10

if you're going to be able to tomorrow or till next week.

00:43:13

And that's why it's hard for us to push the fork away

00:43:15

because, like, it's primitive,

00:43:17

like I can get calories, I have to get calories.

00:43:20

So just because it's primitive, though,

00:43:22

doesn't mean it's healthy for us, right?

00:43:25

It's primitive for us when

00:43:27

we're sexually attracted to somebody

00:43:30

to have sex with them.

00:43:32

I'm going to talk about that next week.

00:43:35

Just because that's primal for us

00:43:38

doesn't mean that it's healthy for us.

00:43:45

But just because we know we can

00:43:48

and we're in this competition, if you want

00:43:50

to be on a spiritual development track

00:43:51

where you're getting moisture from God,

00:43:53

where you're connecting with Him,

00:43:55

where He's filling us with His hydration,

00:43:59

with His Spirit, we have to stop sucking air

00:44:03

out of a well that never gives life.

00:44:07

What is that to you

00:44:09

who God has made somebody else to be?

00:44:11

What is that to you

00:44:12

what God's doing in somebody else's life?

00:44:14

It's not good.

00:44:15

It may be prime or primitive to judge people

00:44:18

who don't look like us.

00:44:19

Anthropologists would say that, yeah,

00:44:21

back when everyone would normally kill each other

00:44:23

because they were of a different tribe,

00:44:25

you needed to identify physiological differences

00:44:28

so you knew you were safe.

00:44:30

So maybe it's primal that we don't trust people

00:44:33

inherently of a different skin tone.

00:44:35

Maybe it's primal that we don't trust people

00:44:37

inherently who just look different than us.

00:44:40

But that doesn't mean it's healthy.

00:44:41

That doesn't mean it's right.

00:44:43

We have to break out of these habits that we have

00:44:46

because they don't bring life to us.

00:44:47

So a number of things.

00:44:48

Number one, comparison drains our relationships.

00:44:53

The people who are frequently the loneliest

00:44:55

and have the fewest friends are that way because

00:44:58

they've sucked the life out of relationships,

00:45:00

because no one wants to be a friend

00:45:02

with someone you're competing with.

00:45:04

And we oftentimes smell that.

00:45:06

We sniff that out.

00:45:07

It drains our relationships.

00:45:10

There's the Ten Commandments,

00:45:11

which I'm sure you know of.

00:45:13

And in the Ten Commandments they start off

00:45:16

with just between us and God, vertical commands, us and God.

00:45:20

And then as you go through the commands,

00:45:22

like we're on command four,

00:45:24

it starts going horizontal

00:45:25

to our relationships with one another.

00:45:27

The very first command says this, or actually says

00:45:30

you shall have no other gods before the Lord your God.

00:45:34

By the time it gets down to ten,

00:45:36

Acts 20:17, here's what it says:

00:45:37

You shall not covet your neighbor's house;

00:45:39

you shall not covet your neighbor's wife,

00:45:41

or his male servant, or his female servant,

00:45:43

or his ox, or his PlayStation, or his donkey,

00:45:47

or anything, anything that is your neighbor's.

00:45:51

I don't even know what is it, PS3 at this point?

00:45:54

What is it? Five? Gosh. All right, Five.

00:45:59

PlayStation is not even -- Is that still the best one?

00:46:01

It was back when I was gaming about 80 years ago.

00:46:04

Yeah. Okay. All right. Anyway.

00:46:07

It lists a bunch of things, says,

00:46:09

"Hey, don't covet it, don't covet it."

00:46:10

And then Jesus comes along and He adds to it.

00:46:13

Here's what he says in Luke 12:15:

00:46:14

And He said to them, "Take care

00:46:16

and be on your guard against all covetousness.

00:46:20

All covetousness.

00:46:23

For one's life does not consist

00:46:25

in the abundance of his possessions."

00:46:28

All, emphasize all.

00:46:30

Coveting isn't about just physical things,

00:46:33

like a car, a spouse, a house.

00:46:37

You can covet somebody's knack with numbers,

00:46:41

all things.

00:46:43

You can covet the family somebody has.

00:46:46

You can covet the physical health that somebody has.

00:46:50

You can covet the personality that somebody else has.

00:46:55

You can covet -- Yes, you can actually covet

00:46:57

the kids somebody else has and wish you were --

00:46:59

You had them as kids instead.

00:47:01

There's all kinds of things that you can covet.

00:47:04

And Jesus says don't do it, because when we do,

00:47:09

we're telling God, "What You've given me isn't good enough."

00:47:13

And God says to us, "What is that to you?

00:47:17

How about just you and I, our relationship?

00:47:20

Why you have to constantly bring in

00:47:22

what somebody else has or doesn't have?"

00:47:28

When I talk about healing, I've had a number of

00:47:32

miraculous healing situations I've been a part of.

00:47:36

It's really been, you know, odd.

00:47:38

I didn't for a long, long time.

00:47:39

And then as time went on,

00:47:41

I just had a number of them in the last,

00:47:43

I don't know, several years.

00:47:45

And I've learned to be very careful about

00:47:48

how I talk about healings

00:47:50

when they've been happening, because

00:47:52

it's very common, very, very common that

00:47:55

there will be some people that can't celebrate

00:47:57

the healing because they constantly now compare

00:48:00

and say, "Well, what about me?

00:48:03

Why? Why haven't I had that miracle?

00:48:05

Why haven't I had that healing?"

00:48:08

It's great.

00:48:09

Libby's sitting with me today in church.

00:48:11

It's awesome.

00:48:12

I never know what service she's going to come to.

00:48:14

It's great that she's with me today.

00:48:15

This just reminds me of

00:48:17

something I was going to talk about which was,

00:48:19

you know, one of her healings that we had just years ago.

00:48:22

I'm not going to go into deep dive with it,

00:48:24

but she had a stroke and she couldn't talk

00:48:27

and she couldn't walk.

00:48:28

And it was just really freaky.

00:48:30

And miracle of miracles from a lot of people praying

00:48:33

and the right hospital at the right time,

00:48:35

Good Samaritan, and all that stuff together,

00:48:37

in the span of not being able to talk,

00:48:39

not being able to walk, she was hours later

00:48:42

climbing steps and the next week playing tennis.

00:48:45

And it was, I call it a miracle.

00:48:47

And many medical professionals have.

00:48:49

So much so they put her on the front of their magazine,

00:48:52

the hospital magazine.

00:48:53

She and I, we went in and we went in

00:48:56

and they asked us to speak to all the staff,

00:48:59

what we experienced at the hospital and all that stuff.

00:49:02

And we're thankful to the hospital,

00:49:03

thankful for all that they did

00:49:04

and all the great, great people.

00:49:06

I'm always very careful and to say,

00:49:08

and this is how God used you in a miracle of God.

00:49:11

And because of her stroke thing,

00:49:13

whenever somebody has a stroke issue,

00:49:16

they'll contact us, which is totally great.

00:49:18

If you can get ahold of me and you have a stroke,

00:49:20

I'd love to talk to you. We'd love to pray for you.

00:49:22

Always, always honored to do that.

00:49:25

And sometimes I can sense with some folks

00:49:27

our story just discourages because, like,

00:49:31

"You had that, but I'm still limping.

00:49:36

Why did God do that for you, but I still can't talk well?"

00:49:41

And I don't know.

00:49:42

No one says that. I can just tell.

00:49:45

And when I have actually talked on healings,

00:49:47

I have had people say, "Well, you said this,

00:49:49

but but why didn't God --?"

00:49:52

If God wanted to heal this person, what is that to you?

00:49:55

I don't know. I don't know.

00:49:58

It's good to ask the question, but I'm just saying

00:50:01

I'm trying to give us uppercuts and jabs and say,

00:50:03

"Can you see this is everywhere with us?"

00:50:06

The amount of energy and the amount of love

00:50:08

that we could give if we didn't have

00:50:10

this constant comparisonitis going on

00:50:12

with somebody else would be really, really good.

00:50:15

I spoke a number of times about where men are

00:50:18

and how the suicide statistics and mental health.

00:50:20

The men are lonely, lonely, lonely.

00:50:22

But is it any different with women, really?

00:50:24

The statistics aren't as bad with women,

00:50:25

but you tell me. I'm not a woman.

00:50:28

Don't plan on ever identifying as a woman.

00:50:29

But you tell me. You tell me, those who are ladies,

00:50:32

that it's just as bad with women.

00:50:34

And you tell me that women are around each other,

00:50:37

but the competition with other women

00:50:39

is very high, very fierce.

00:50:42

Whose body parts are bigger and smaller

00:50:45

where they should and shouldn't be?

00:50:47

Who's got this kind of guy? Who's got that kind of guy?

00:50:50

Who's got this opportunity? Who's got that opportunity?

00:50:52

I've talked with women who feel guilty

00:50:54

telling other people that they're pregnant

00:50:56

because they know other people who can't have children,

00:50:58

so they don't want to say it,

00:50:59

make them judge, make them feel bad.

00:51:01

And then you have this.

00:51:02

I don't, again,

00:51:03

it's just another slice of the same problem.

00:51:06

We keep sucking the air out of a well

00:51:11

that will not give water.

00:51:13

We have to put our energy elsewhere.

00:51:15

Comparison drains our energy,

00:51:19

gives us less creativity and less love

00:51:21

to give God and give other people.

00:51:23

A friend of mine, Jim Burgen, he is a pastor

00:51:25

of a really great church in Colorado.

00:51:29

And for years and years, because for years

00:51:32

and years we've been doing that horse weekend,

00:51:34

you know, or my friend Todd Pierce,

00:51:35

the horse whisperer, comes in

00:51:36

and we bring that horse up on stage

00:51:38

and it's awesome.

00:51:39

And, you know, sand gets kicked everywhere.

00:51:41

And I'm an evangelist generally

00:51:43

for anything that I'm really excited about.

00:51:45

So when I'm around other pastors of churches

00:51:48

that have big stages and have a pretty good size room,

00:51:52

I'm like, "Dude, you got to do this.

00:51:54

You got to bring this guy in.

00:51:55

People will cry. It's going to be great.

00:51:57

Your people are going to love it.

00:51:59

They're going to bring friends. It's going to bring life."

00:52:01

And like no one, now one.

00:52:02

Well, Jim did. He did it. He came to ours.

00:52:05

He brought a bunch of his staff members

00:52:08

last time we did it, they took notes.

00:52:09

They went back and they replicated it.

00:52:11

And they had like the highest weekend service

00:52:13

that they've had all year,

00:52:15

higher than Easter and everything

00:52:16

at the beginning of August. It was great.

00:52:19

He was just like talking how great it was.

00:52:21

And then I was following him because of that

00:52:23

and I went to his Instagram

00:52:24

and he had this picture on his Instagram.

00:52:26

And I saw this picture and it reminded,

00:52:29

"Oh, that's right, Jim has a great house

00:52:32

in the mountains of Colorado,

00:52:34

and he's got a farm with a horse on it."

00:52:40

And I immediately went, "That's awesome. Great for Jim."

00:52:43

Now why did I do it immediately?

00:52:45

Because God has been grooming this out of me for years.

00:52:50

I don't struggle with this the way I used to,

00:52:52

because I recognize I was getting nowhere,

00:52:54

I needed to turn the corner.

00:52:56

And it was so fun to see this little picture

00:52:59

of him on his Instagram story and go,

00:53:02

"Great for him," and truly celebrate him.

00:53:05

The book of Romans, 12:15-16 says this:

00:53:08

Rejoice with those who rejoice,

00:53:10

weep with those who weep.

00:53:12

Live in harmony with one another.

00:53:13

Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.

00:53:17

Never be wise in your own sight.

00:53:20

When we're competing with somebody else,

00:53:22

we're trying to be wise in our own sight.

00:53:24

We're the judge and jury over or not

00:53:26

we're running life correctly versus you.

00:53:29

And I found that it's very easy

00:53:32

to mourn with those who mourn.

00:53:34

It's easy to mourn and grieve with people

00:53:37

who have lost a loved one,

00:53:38

who have had a bad medical diagnosis.

00:53:40

And it's great and we should all mourn that.

00:53:43

But is it as easy for us to rejoice with those who rejoice?

00:53:48

Is it as easy when you hear

00:53:50

about somebody getting a raise?

00:53:52

Are you as excited for them as you would be

00:53:54

heartbroken if one of their children died?

00:54:00

Can we rejoice when people get

00:54:02

a new car that's better than ours?

00:54:04

Can we rejoice when somebody has

00:54:07

opportunities that we don't have?

00:54:09

A lot of us can't, and that may be

00:54:12

a source of our relational tension.

00:54:17

Rejoice with those who rejoice

00:54:19

and mourn with those who mourn.

00:54:20

And you can do that when you stop competing with people.

00:54:23

You can just appreciate that person

00:54:25

for who God has made them to be.

00:54:27

All of us have blessings in our life.

00:54:29

All of us have curses in our life,

00:54:31

or I would say thorns in our life.

00:54:33

The Bible talks about thorns that will never go away.

00:54:35

I've got a thorn I've been dealing with

00:54:37

for a long time now, I have a dislocated rib.

00:54:40

Last summer I went away for my break

00:54:43

and I took my son and sons-in-law.

00:54:44

I said, "I'm going to get back in the golf."

00:54:46

We went out and we golfed three days out of five.

00:54:48

And of course if you're going to golf,

00:54:50

it has to be 18 holes. No, nine, nine holes.

00:54:52

It's like kissing your sister.

00:54:53

It doesn't get you anywhere.

00:54:54

I mean, so we went out -- We went out, we went out.

00:54:58

And after that, after that time,

00:55:01

my rib got dislodged in my rib cage.

00:55:06

And I fought it all year, gone to the chiropractor.

00:55:08

I haven't golfed all year.

00:55:09

It's been really, really tough.

00:55:11

And I thought, "Okay, it's good enough.

00:55:12

Let's go out and do it."

00:55:13

I did two times over five days,

00:55:15

and what do you know, it's out again.

00:55:17

I'm going, "Am I just am I done

00:55:18

playing golf forever? Am I done?"

00:55:19

I was pushing this table down earlier and I felt it.

00:55:22

And I could start to go, "God, what is the deal?

00:55:26

Really? I got a rib, I got to deal with this?

00:55:29

I got -- I got -- Why?"

00:55:33

And then I get sent pictures of family

00:55:36

in our church whose daughters have screws

00:55:38

in her spine and straighten her spine.

00:55:40

And, and I go, man, I'm so glad I didn't get bitter

00:55:43

about why my rib was out.

00:55:45

But I was asking the question because

00:55:47

someone always has it worse

00:55:49

and you can always find them if you're looking for it.

00:55:51

And you shouldn't look for it,

00:55:52

because we shouldn't be comparing ourselves

00:55:54

with other people.

00:55:55

But all of us can know things about our life

00:55:58

we like and don't like, and somebody else

00:56:00

has things they like and don't like.

00:56:02

And here's the thing, it's been said before,

00:56:04

I'll say it again, staring at somebody else's grass

00:56:07

doesn't make yours any greener.

00:56:11

Staring at somebody else's grass

00:56:13

doesn't make your lawn any more lush.

00:56:15

Fixating on somebody else's regiment

00:56:18

for how they're taking care of their grass

00:56:21

doesn't make your lawn any more beautiful.

00:56:23

It affects yours not at all,

00:56:25

so why look across the fence?

00:56:27

Why see what somebody else is doing in their life?

00:56:30

Why take it personally?

00:56:31

Why have to draw a conclusion as to why they did this,

00:56:33

or they should have done that or something like that?

00:56:35

It doesn't make sense.

00:56:38

In Canada they did a study a number of years ago.

00:56:40

They could do this because of the way

00:56:42

the postal system is organized,

00:56:43

and I don't want to get into all that.

00:56:45

But they were able to track people

00:56:46

who won the lottery, and they could see

00:56:48

that when you won the lottery,

00:56:50

everybody around them got a worse life.

00:56:54

Here's what they say in the Washington Post:

00:56:56

They found that a $1,000 increase

00:56:58

in Canadian dollars in lottery prize money

00:57:00

caused a 2.4% rise in bankruptcies

00:57:03

among the immediate neighbors

00:57:05

over the next two years.

00:57:08

When I was in Pittsburgh, I did a lot of weddings.

00:57:10

It was kind of my job at the church I was at.

00:57:12

And I did a wedding for a guy

00:57:14

who was in my student ministry,

00:57:15

and he came from very humble means.

00:57:18

His dad was a university cop at the University of Pittsburgh.

00:57:22

And they hit the lottery, like, for seven figures.

00:57:24

And I saw this.

00:57:25

It just devastated, it destroyed that family,

00:57:28

not just because they weren't necessarily

00:57:30

aware of how to handle that money,

00:57:32

but I saw everybody around them

00:57:34

and others just claw onto them and judge them

00:57:38

and be bummed and expect this and that

00:57:40

because the comparisonitis.

00:57:43

It's a hyper-charged form of that.

00:57:45

When you find somebody who can accept you

00:57:50

for who you are and doesn't have to compete with you

00:57:52

and doesn't use you as a measuring stick

00:57:54

for what their life could be,

00:57:55

and can celebrate your wins and mourn your losses,

00:57:59

and doesn't spend energy doing anything else

00:58:01

other than loving you and cheering you on,

00:58:03

you have found a friend. [applause]

00:58:08

And you've found someone who's being like Jesus.

00:58:13

And all of us have this temptation,

00:58:16

this temptation to find what we're good at

00:58:19

in our lane and compare ourselves to others.

00:58:22

So the big money people, oftentimes,

00:58:24

the big money people compare themselves

00:58:26

to the small money people and feel superior

00:58:29

because, you know, "I'm smart enough

00:58:30

that I did this and I worked hard enough."

00:58:32

And maybe of the small money people

00:58:33

look at the bigger money people and feel superior

00:58:35

because they go, "Well, you must have cheated

00:58:37

to get to the top.

00:58:38

You must have done this or whatever."

00:58:40

The body beautiful people

00:58:41

look at the soft body people and they feel,

00:58:43

many like, "Okay, well, if only could be

00:58:45

as disciplined as me.

00:58:46

If only you would understand this.

00:58:48

If only you understand that."

00:58:49

And the multiple degrees people look at

00:58:51

the no degrees people thinking they're more intelligent because

00:58:53

they have all these degrees and all this

00:58:55

doesn't mean you can navigate life any better,

00:58:57

but you have a lot of degrees

00:58:58

and you could could feel sometimes

00:59:00

that you're intellectually superior,

00:59:01

because you have your degrees.

00:59:02

And the family centric people

00:59:03

can look at people who don't have kids

00:59:05

and can feel like you're, "What are you doing?"

00:59:07

And the people do have kids and read the Bible

00:59:09

can see that Paul says it's great if you're not married.

00:59:12

You can look at them and go,

00:59:13

"Well, why are you married?

00:59:14

Why would you waste your time with all those fights

00:59:16

and all those things like that?"

00:59:18

And it's just, again, I go on and on examples

00:59:20

of all the wasted energy that's happening

00:59:23

and what it does, it drains our focus.

00:59:26

It drains our focus.

00:59:27

Focus on what? Focus on Jesus,

00:59:33

if you're into that sort of thing.

00:59:36

Most of us aren't into that sort of thing.

00:59:38

We want just enough Jesus to qualify us

00:59:43

to check Christian on the hospital check in form.

00:59:48

We want just enough Jesus to be able to align

00:59:53

with the political party that makes us feel in.

00:59:55

And we want just enough Jesus to give us

00:59:59

fire insurance if there actually is a hell.

01:00:02

We want just enough Jesus to fit into

01:00:04

the cultural context that we're in.

01:00:06

Just enough Jesus to not upset mom

01:00:08

or not upset grandma, just enough.

01:00:10

But man, when it gets tough, when it gets rough,

01:00:14

when we're comparing ourselves to other people,

01:00:17

for all of us who want to focus on Jesus,

01:00:19

we cannot focus on Jesus because

01:00:21

we're focusing on other people.

01:00:23

What do you want to focus on?

01:00:25

Want to focus on other people who are mere mortals,

01:00:27

or do you want to focus on Jesus?

01:00:30

I did some research for this talk,

01:00:31

and I just went into Spotify

01:00:33

and I put in, like, comparison.

01:00:35

Had some podcasts pop up

01:00:37

and just started listening to some.

01:00:39

Here's a quote from one of them:

01:00:41

Your focus always needs to be on your blessings,

01:00:44

on your growth, on your goals, on your happiness,

01:00:47

on your everyday movements.

01:00:48

And when you compare yourself to other people,

01:00:50

you're being a disservice to your soul.

01:00:53

You've got to start romanticizing your life.

01:00:56

This is good. They're saying, "Hey,

01:00:57

stop comparing other people."

01:00:59

But what's the operative word in this quote?

01:01:04

You're, you. It's all about you.

01:01:09

Your focus, your blessings, your growth,

01:01:13

your goals, on you happiness,

01:01:15

your everyday movement, romanticize your life.

01:01:21

I choose to not be about me.

01:01:24

And anybody who would come after Christ

01:01:25

choose the same thing.

01:01:26

It's not about us. It's about focusing on Jesus.

01:01:30

That is where the water is.

01:01:32

That is where the spring of life is.

01:01:34

That is where the well is.

01:01:36

Just thinking about not thinking about somebody else,

01:01:39

but thinking about myself and myself and myself.

01:01:42

I still have no water in and of myself.

01:01:44

I have to go to the source of the water.

01:01:46

I'm to compare myself to Jesus.

01:01:48

I'm not to compare myself to my CEO friend.

01:01:51

I'm not to compare myself to my body lifter friend,

01:01:54

body weight friend.

01:01:55

I'm not supposed to compare myself to --

01:01:57

I'm comparing myself to Jesus.

01:01:59

He's to be my standard.

01:02:01

He's to be who I want to be.

01:02:04

This is what Hebrews 12:1 says.

01:02:09

Am I am I giving you too much? Everyone okay?

01:02:11

Are you? I'm either -- I'm either --

01:02:14

I'm either boring you or I'm something you.

01:02:17

You're all sitting there like.

01:02:20

I know that look. I have you busted.

01:02:22

That's the look. That's the look.

01:02:24

I understand it.

01:02:25

It's been a huge thing in my life.

01:02:27

Romans 12:1, here's what it says:

01:02:29

Therefore, since we are surrounded by

01:02:30

so great a cloud of witnesses.

01:02:32

The witnesses here is not all the people

01:02:34

who are competing who around us.

01:02:35

The context here is people who have focused

01:02:37

on Christ and have gone to heaven

01:02:39

and are aware of what's happening here right now.

01:02:42

There's a cloud of witnesses,

01:02:43

of people who have chosen to follow Christ

01:02:45

and are in heaven right now,

01:02:46

who are looking at you right now and cheering you on.

01:02:50

That's what they're talking about.

01:02:52

Let's lay aside every weight,

01:02:54

and sin which clings so closely,

01:02:56

and let us run with endurance

01:02:57

the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus.

01:03:01

Looking to Jesus. Focusing on Jesus.

01:03:05

The founder and perfecter of our faith,

01:03:08

who for the joy that was set before Him

01:03:11

endured the Cross, despising the shame,

01:03:14

and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

01:03:18

Look to Jesus. Be focused on Him.

01:03:23

He's the founder and perfecter of your faith.

01:03:26

You're not the founder of your faith

01:03:28

because you figured it out, and therefore

01:03:29

you're just smarter than the person

01:03:31

who's still an atheist.

01:03:32

No, no, no, He founded your faith somehow

01:03:36

that you may not even be willing to acknowledge.

01:03:38

He's the one who's perfecting your faith.

01:03:41

Philippians 1:6 says He who started a good work in you

01:03:44

will be faithful to complete it in the end.

01:03:46

He's the founder and perfecter, so focusing on Him,

01:03:50

on His character is the way to go.

01:03:52

One of the things I'm grieving deeply

01:03:55

is the Olympics are over.

01:03:58

Wasn't that two weeks of entertainment heaven?

01:04:01

Wasn't that just great?

01:04:02

Like I could come home.

01:04:04

I can watch competition that's healthy.

01:04:07

I can see the American soul.

01:04:09

I can root for my country.

01:04:11

I could see good sportsmanship.

01:04:13

It's just mesmerizing. Utterly mesmerizing.

01:04:15

One of my favorite moments was when

01:04:18

Sha'Carri Richardson was running her race.

01:04:20

Now, in case you're not aware of this,

01:04:22

or if you are aware of this,

01:04:23

let me give you some background here.

01:04:25

Sha'Carri Richardson, I watched a thing on Netflix

01:04:27

several months ago on sprinters.

01:04:29

And Sha'Carri Richardson is one of

01:04:31

the greatest sprinters in American history.

01:04:33

And they were expecting her like months and months

01:04:35

and months and months and months ago

01:04:37

to clean up the Olympics. And she did.

01:04:39

She did really, really well,

01:04:40

but she didn't do as well as people

01:04:41

thought she should have done two years ago,

01:04:43

because she didn't qualify for as many events

01:04:45

as everyone assumed that she would.

01:04:47

So she comes into the Olympics.

01:04:49

I think she's got, probably got a little chip on her shoulder,

01:04:51

she's bummed that she's only in a couple events.

01:04:53

She gets a, I think it's a gold medal

01:04:56

in her first event and then her last event,

01:04:57

it's a four by 100 relay, four by.

01:05:01

So four runners are going 100 yards.

01:05:04

And she's running the anchor position

01:05:08

and she gets the baton way in the back.

01:05:11

And let's just watch this leg

01:05:14

and watch what she does, if you haven't seen it.

01:05:17

- Here comes Sha'Carri Richardson.

01:05:19

Look to the far side, Sha'Carri has got 'em covered.

01:05:24

- She looked over once.

01:05:28

- See you later.

01:05:33

- Wow. That is gangster right there.

01:05:38

If you want to know, that is gangster.

01:05:40

Let me tell you. Let me tell you something.

01:05:42

If you ride a bicycle or you ride a motorcycle,

01:05:45

you know this truth.

01:05:46

Where do you look? Where do you look?

01:05:48

You might say, well, you look where you're going.

01:05:50

No, you don't look where you're going.

01:05:51

You go where you look.

01:05:54

The two wheels, there are only two wheels.

01:05:56

It's magically weird, like, where you look.,

01:05:58

the bike will go there.

01:06:01

You go where you look.

01:06:02

For her at that moment, to look off to the side

01:06:06

as to why she did that, she had some reason, she says.

01:06:09

But when she looked to the side, when I saw that,

01:06:11

I thought, "Oh no, this is horrible. It's horrible."

01:06:15

Because if she's looking over there,

01:06:17

she's going to go over there

01:06:18

and she's only got to go over a few inches.

01:06:20

She steps over the line and she's DQ'd.

01:06:22

Now, fortunately, it worked out great.

01:06:24

She's awesome, awesome, awesome.

01:06:26

But here's the illustration. Here's the illustration, man.

01:06:28

This is what Hebrews 12:1 tells us not to do spiritually.

01:06:32

We're to focus on Jesus. We're to look at Him.

01:06:37

We're not to look at anybody else, nobody else.

01:06:41

We're not even to look at ourselves.

01:06:43

We're supposed to look to Him.

01:06:44

He's the author and perfecter of our faith.

01:06:46

The more time we spend looking around here,

01:06:49

What do you have that I don't have?

01:06:50

What are you doing? How's that? Or what about this?"

01:06:53

The more we're doing this, we can't go.

01:06:55

We can't finish our race.

01:06:57

There's a race for you to run.

01:07:00

There's something for you to do.

01:07:02

There's somebody for you to be.

01:07:05

There's a life for you to fulfill.

01:07:08

And guess what all that is?

01:07:10

That's everything from here to Jesus and He is the goal.

01:07:13

He is the target. He's where we're going.

01:07:17

And the sooner we let that sink into our blood

01:07:19

and start drinking that water,

01:07:22

the sooner our hearts are going

01:07:23

to be nourished and fulfilled.

01:07:26

I had a pretty horrible thing happen to me,

01:07:28

I'll end with this.

01:07:29

I had a pretty horrible thing happen to me

01:07:35

a few weeks before I left for my break, horrible.

01:07:39

I overstated it a bit. It felt horrible to me.

01:07:43

I was in my men's group.

01:07:45

I've been in a men's group for a long, long time.

01:07:47

And this group of guys I was with,

01:07:48

and we were going around.

01:07:49

And I don't know how it came up,

01:07:51

but one of the guys in the group

01:07:52

started talking about

01:07:55

at his level in corporate America,

01:07:57

how much people make, the bonuses, the stock options.

01:08:02

And he was talking about in the context

01:08:03

of people being stressed out and other stuff.

01:08:05

And it was really good, really appropriate to do.

01:08:07

Really glad he did.

01:08:09

And it really messed me up for about 24 hours,

01:08:12

because this guy is not -- he's not in the C-suite.

01:08:16

He's not like a CMO, chief marketing officer

01:08:19

or something like that.

01:08:20

He's up there. He's not there.

01:08:23

He's a bit younger than me.

01:08:24

And he's talking with us.

01:08:26

And I just thought, I was like,

01:08:29

"I didn't realize people made that much money.

01:08:34

You -- Wow."

01:08:37

Now hear me, I'm very thankful.

01:08:39

Crossroads is very generous to me.

01:08:41

I make way more money than I ever thought I would make.

01:08:43

Thank you. Thank you very much.

01:08:45

And when I heard this, my old comparison kicked in.

01:08:48

I was like, "What? What?"

01:08:50

And I thought of the people who were at this person's level.

01:08:53

And I thought, "A lot of them, I know them,

01:08:56

I'm a brighter light bulb than them."

01:08:59

For about 24 hours I'm going like,

01:09:01

"What would my life look like

01:09:02

if I put my energy elsewhere?

01:09:05

What would it look like?"

01:09:06

And I started going down the dry well

01:09:09

I hadn't been in for a long, long time.

01:09:11

I got surprised by it, like, I've done okay.

01:09:13

I've kicked this stuff, and then all of a sudden,

01:09:16

like, I got back this, I found myself sucking,

01:09:18

trying to suck water out of a dry well again.

01:09:25

And then I sense God say to me,

01:09:33

"What's that to you? What is that to you?"

01:09:37

And I started reflecting.

01:09:39

I start with God and say,

01:09:40

"Oh God, that's right, that's right.

01:09:41

When I was 15, 16 years old, I gave my life to You."

01:09:45

Now when I say I gave my life,

01:09:47

I mean I gave Him my life.

01:09:50

I don't mean that's the words you say

01:09:51

when you have a spiritual thing.

01:09:52

No. I asked Him into my life.

01:09:54

I dedicated my life and I gave Him my life.

01:09:57

And He gets to do whatever the heck He wants

01:09:59

to do with my life because it's His life.

01:10:01

It's not mine, it's His life.

01:10:05

And I focus on Him, on where I'm going,

01:10:08

where I think He's taking me. I focus on Him.

01:10:11

And whatever He's doing in other people's lane,

01:10:14

what is that to me?

01:10:16

I only get frustrated. I only get angry.

01:10:20

I only get bitter when I start looking to the left

01:10:22

and to the right because I gave Him my life.

01:10:25

Friends, be one of those

01:10:26

who actually gives your life,

01:10:28

doesn't talk it, actually gives it,

01:10:30

actually does what you think Jesus is asking you to do

01:10:33

because He's at the end of your lane saying,

01:10:35

"Come on, come on, come on. This way."

01:10:40

Psalm 143:6, last verse:

01:10:42

I stretch out my hands to you;

01:10:44

my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

01:10:48

Can't you see how dry and parched our land is?

01:10:51

Can't you see the way that we live life doesn't work?

01:10:54

Can't you see how dry we are?

01:10:56

And because we're following the script

01:10:58

of looking left and right and competing

01:11:00

and contrasting, comparing.

01:11:02

And if you want the moisture of Jesus,

01:11:05

you have to reach, stretch out for the moisture.

01:11:08

Stretch out. Let's do that right now.

01:11:10

If you want it, let's stretch out right now.

01:11:12

Try to hit the person in front of you.

01:11:14

Stretch it out. Stretch out. Come on.

01:11:16

Actually, let's stand up right now.

01:11:17

We're going to sing a song.

01:11:19

I'm going to pray for us with our arms out.

01:11:20

God, look at these arms that are out.

01:11:22

Arms are out because those who are reaching out,

01:11:24

we're stretching out.

01:11:25

We're saying we want moisture.

01:11:28

We don't want to be parched anymore.

01:11:29

We don't want to be like the masses anymore.

01:11:33

We want You. Would you fill us?

01:11:35

We're stretching out to you straight in front of us

01:11:37

because we're focusing on You.

01:11:39

God, would You pour grace

01:11:40

in these arms that are stretched out?

01:11:42

Would you pour clarity? Would you pour peace?

01:11:46

You are good and sorry, so sorry

01:11:49

for looking left and right.

01:11:51

What is that to me? It's nothing.

01:11:54

But you are, You're good. Amen.

01:14:48

- See you next week.

01:14:52

- Throughout this series,

01:14:53

we've talked through some pretty serious topics

01:14:56

that may have hit a nerve.

01:14:57

And if that's you, that's okay.

01:14:59

- If that's the case, we want to give you

01:15:01

some resources so that you don't feel alone or stuck.

01:15:04

You can text Thirsty to 301301.

01:15:06

You'll get a link with different resources,

01:15:08

like articles and podcasts

01:15:10

and invitations to groups

01:15:11

where you can get help to take a next step.

01:15:14

We're so glad you joined us today,

01:15:15

and we will see you back here next week.

01:15:17

- See you.

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