-
00:02:55
- How about that?
-
00:02:57
Hey. Welcome here,
-
00:02:58
whether you're
online or in the room.
-
00:03:00
My name is Justin. I'm one
of the music guys around here.
-
00:03:02
I don't know what you
come in believing about God
-
00:03:04
or what you've heard about God,
-
00:03:06
but I believe in a God of joy,
-
00:03:08
a God that gives energy,
-
00:03:10
that rejuvenates,
that refreshes.
-
00:03:12
So right here today,
-
00:03:13
I believe what He has for you.
-
00:03:14
And so right now, if
you're not standing,
-
00:03:17
go ahead and stand with us.
-
00:03:18
We're going to sing songs to God
-
00:03:20
and about this God of joy.
-
00:03:21
We're so glad
you're here with us.
-
00:07:33
- This God has
good for us always.
-
00:12:20
- Lord. I, I set my
eyes on You today
-
00:12:23
and I say those
words only to You
-
00:12:27
because I believe
You are the source,
-
00:12:29
that You're the source of
every good and perfect gift.
-
00:12:35
And the God of joy, that
You would delight in us,
-
00:12:41
that You would smile on us.
-
00:12:45
In Your Bible,
Zephaniah 3:17 says
-
00:12:49
You're the one
who exalts over us
-
00:12:51
with loud singing and dancing.
-
00:12:53
Like, You'd be the
one in the aisles tonight
-
00:12:55
dancing up and down,
because that's Your joy for us,
-
00:12:59
because You
want to give us life,
-
00:13:01
because You want to refresh us.
-
00:13:04
And so all I can do is
smile and say thank You.
-
00:13:08
I recognize You and
want to recognize You
-
00:13:11
for who You are,
giver of life and joy.
-
00:13:14
And so I do that, I thank You.
-
00:13:15
And I pray all this because
of You, Jesus. Amen.
-
00:13:19
Amen. Yeah. It's so
good to be together.
-
00:13:26
So glad you're with us online.
-
00:13:28
In the room, why don't
you turn to somebody
-
00:13:29
and for 10s laugh
right in their face.
-
00:13:32
I'm just kidding. Don't do that.
-
00:13:33
Turn to somebody and say, "Hey,
I'm glad to be here with you.
-
00:13:36
So glad you're with us."
-
00:13:44
- Well, hey, everyone,
welcome to Crossroads.
-
00:13:46
I'm Eric, and I am so glad
-
00:13:48
you are joining us online today.
-
00:13:51
If you did not know,
Crossroads is one church
-
00:13:54
with many locations
meeting both physically
-
00:13:56
and digitally all
over the world.
-
00:13:59
And we have a
whole group of people
-
00:14:01
all across the world
who are a part of
-
00:14:03
our Crossroads
Anywhere community.
-
00:14:05
And we truly believe
that you don't have to be
-
00:14:08
located near one of our
physical church buildings
-
00:14:10
to be a real, active and
known part of our church.
-
00:14:14
There's people
leading watch parties
-
00:14:16
in their homes or dorm rooms,
-
00:14:18
people leading groups online,
-
00:14:20
people going deeper
into the weekly teachings,
-
00:14:24
asking the difficult
questions about God,
-
00:14:26
and people simply
praying for one another.
-
00:14:29
These are all ways
to be in community,
-
00:14:32
and it's actually
one of the practices
-
00:14:34
that lead to spiritual growth.
-
00:14:36
So, if you want ideas
on how you can engage
-
00:14:39
with others at
Crossroads, in community,
-
00:14:43
head to crossroads.net.
-
00:14:45
Another way you
can grow with others
-
00:14:47
is through attending one
of our Crossroads Camps.
-
00:14:50
And yes, I'm talking
about camping outside
-
00:14:53
in a tent on the
ground and it's probably
-
00:14:56
a little outside of
your comfort zone.
-
00:14:58
Trust me, it's out of mine too.
-
00:15:00
But Camps are an
opportunity for you to be off
-
00:15:04
and to hear from
God, to have fun
-
00:15:07
and to do it all with hundreds
of people around you.
-
00:15:09
You'll camp in a
small group of people
-
00:15:12
who could become some
of your best friends one day.
-
00:15:14
You never know.
-
00:15:16
We have two more
Camps that are left this year.
-
00:15:18
That's Woman Camp
if you're a woman,
-
00:15:20
Man Camp if you're a man.
-
00:15:22
And let me tell you for
me, I found community
-
00:15:25
at Man Camp a few years ago
-
00:15:27
when one of my
friends invited me, said,
-
00:15:29
"Eric, do you want to come?"
-
00:15:30
And my first response
was, "Absolutely not,"
-
00:15:34
because I don't like camping.
-
00:15:35
But I decided to say yes
and take him up on his offer.
-
00:15:38
And I'm 11 Man Camps in now
-
00:15:40
and I can't get enough of it.
-
00:15:42
It's just life changing.
-
00:15:44
I love the atmosphere of Camp.
-
00:15:45
I love growing with God
-
00:15:47
and I love my
community of brothers.
-
00:15:49
So let me tell
you, it's worth it.
-
00:15:51
And this is your
last call to sign up
-
00:15:53
for either one of those.
-
00:15:54
You can do that by heading
-
00:15:56
to crossroads.net/camps
to sign up,
-
00:15:58
and you should bring
a friend along with you.
-
00:16:02
And something else that might be
-
00:16:03
a little out of our
comfort zone, but it's
-
00:16:06
so good for our
spiritual growth is giving.
-
00:16:09
Being generous is never
easy, let's be honest,
-
00:16:12
and it's never comfortable.
-
00:16:14
And in my life, I
have found that
-
00:16:17
it's always good for
me when I lean into God.
-
00:16:20
It loosens the grip that
money has on my life,
-
00:16:23
and it helps me communicate
to Him that I trust Him
-
00:16:26
and that I want
to put Him first.
-
00:16:28
If you want to join me in that,
-
00:16:30
you can do that at
Crossroads.net/give.
-
00:16:33
Now, today we're
going to be focusing
-
00:16:36
on a very adult topic.
-
00:16:38
So I want to take a minute
-
00:16:40
to warn all of the parents.
-
00:16:41
If you have little kids
in the room with you
-
00:16:45
and they're normally
watching and listening,
-
00:16:47
you may be in for
some conversations that
-
00:16:50
you might not want to
talk about with your kids.
-
00:16:53
So, please use your
discretion if this is
-
00:16:56
the right content for your
whole family to receive
-
00:16:59
and know that we have
amazing digital content
-
00:17:02
made specifically for
kids aged ten and under.
-
00:17:05
And you can find that in our app
-
00:17:07
or you can search Crossroads
Kids' Club on YouTube.
-
00:17:11
And all of our content
for middle schoolers
-
00:17:13
and high schoolers can be found
-
00:17:15
at Crossroads.net/watch.
-
00:17:18
So right now, let's hear from
-
00:17:20
our senior pastor Brian Tome
-
00:17:22
as we continue in
our series Thirsty.
-
00:17:27
[happy music]
-
00:17:31
[birds chirping]
-
00:17:33
- [sighs]
So refreshing.
-
00:17:40
Nothing is more satisfying
than natural pure water
-
00:17:44
flowing from nature's bosom.
-
00:17:47
When you reach for a
drink to quench your thirst,
-
00:17:50
make sure it is water.
-
00:17:52
[FX explosion]
-
00:17:53
Don't drink from
some dysentery ridden
-
00:17:55
raccoon swimming pool.
-
00:17:57
- Nature sucks.
-
00:17:58
- You need a drink that
says, "I'm here to party
-
00:18:00
and I might have just
swallowed a cicada.
-
00:18:03
- Cicada.
[FX explosion]
-
00:18:04
- Something that'll
swell your tongue
-
00:18:06
and make your
insides glow in the dark.
-
00:18:08
- Radiation.
- Nature.
-
00:18:10
- Cicada.
- Radiation.
-
00:18:12
You need Thirsty.
- Thirsty.
-
00:18:16
- A drink designed
by scientists at a lab
-
00:18:18
in the basement
of your mom's house.
-
00:18:21
It's full of all kinds of
things you can't spell:
-
00:18:27
So the next time
you got a thirst,
-
00:18:29
grab the drink that will do
absolutely nothing for you.
-
00:18:32
- Thirsty.
-
00:18:33
- It comes in six flavors
that aren't real flavors.
-
00:18:37
- Six flavors.
-
00:18:43
- Thirsty.
-
00:18:44
-The drink that will
leave you wanting more.
-
00:18:48
[FX explosion]
-
00:18:50
- Yeah. Hey, so good
to be with everybody today.
-
00:18:54
It's going to be a good day.
-
00:18:56
It's going to be
an interesting day.
-
00:18:57
It's going to be probably
be an offensive day.
-
00:19:00
It's going to be --
-
00:19:01
I'm an equal
opportunity offender.
-
00:19:03
Because after all, we're
talking about, like,
-
00:19:05
the most sensitive
topic you could talk about
-
00:19:07
that is I'm talking today.
I'm talking about sex.
-
00:19:10
[music: Let's Talk About
Sex, Salt-n-Pepa]
-
00:19:12
Come on, let's
talk about sex, baby.
-
00:19:13
Let's talk about you and me.
-
00:19:15
Let's talk about
all the good things
-
00:19:17
- All right. Good,
good. Enough of that.
-
00:19:18
Now I want to say
this before I go further,
-
00:19:23
today, I'm going to
be talking about sex,
-
00:19:25
but I'll tell you,
there's a sexuality
-
00:19:27
I'm not talking about.
-
00:19:29
I just want to get this
out of the way with.
-
00:19:30
I get asked
a lot, emailed a lot.
-
00:19:33
You know tell me about LGBTQIA+.
-
00:19:36
What's your take on this?
-
00:19:37
The teachers,
leaders of Crossroads,
-
00:19:39
I'm done giving a --
-
00:19:41
I am done giving a
soundbite answer.
-
00:19:43
I'm done even responding
to emails on that question.
-
00:19:45
Here's what I
tell everybody, I'll tell you.
-
00:19:47
If you want to
know, read this book.
-
00:19:49
It's called People to
Be Loved by Preston Sprinkle.
-
00:19:52
It is thorough. It's fantastic.
-
00:19:54
He says, and it's what
we've always taught around here,
-
00:19:56
he says this:
-
00:19:57
Homosexuality is not
some issue to be debated,
-
00:20:01
but people to be loved.
-
00:20:04
Now, I want to talk from here,
-
00:20:06
I want to talk
about the ideal of sex
-
00:20:11
between a man and a woman,
-
00:20:13
or what if you're never
going to be married?
-
00:20:15
What if you're single right now,
-
00:20:17
will be single
forever, what do you do?
-
00:20:19
I don't know exactly
the answer to that question,
-
00:20:22
but I can't tell you God
is good. He is good.
-
00:20:25
And He has things for you
that you may not have imagined.
-
00:20:28
He has a very deep
well for you to drink from.
-
00:20:32
Let's pray before I
go any further.
-
00:20:35
Father, I'm really
honored to talk about
-
00:20:37
something transcendent,
a little nervous about it,
-
00:20:39
to be honest,
a little queasy about it
-
00:20:41
because it's always
controversial
-
00:20:44
if we hear something
we don't want to hear.
-
00:20:46
And I know, though,
You bring people
-
00:20:48
to Crossroads who are thirsty,
-
00:20:50
who want something
beyond what we'll get
-
00:20:53
someplace else on
the radio, movies,
-
00:20:57
our streaming
platforms, whatever it is.
-
00:20:59
I pray You give us Your clarity.
-
00:21:00
Help me to be clear.
-
00:21:02
Help me to be very intuitive,
-
00:21:06
and most importantly,
to be very truthful.
-
00:21:08
And I pray these
things according to
-
00:21:09
the character
and identity of Jesus. Amen.
-
00:21:14
When I was a kid, you
ever have one of those things
-
00:21:17
where you have a memory and then
all of a sudden,
-
00:21:20
years and
years later, you realize,
-
00:21:22
"Oh, that's what
happened way back when.
-
00:21:25
I didn't realize that."
You ever have one of those?
-
00:21:27
When I was a
little kid, I was over at
-
00:21:29
my extended relatives
house, and I was,
-
00:21:33
I think 6 or
7, and I was a spaz.
-
00:21:35
I know that surprises you.
-
00:21:36
I was a spaz playing horse,
-
00:21:39
playing pig, round the world.
-
00:21:40
And I was just -- I remember
jumping on people
-
00:21:43
and just running
around like a maniac.
-
00:21:45
And my older
cousin had a boyfriend.
-
00:21:47
They were about 16
or so, and I was just panting.
-
00:21:52
I was thirsty and and
I didn't have any water.
-
00:21:54
And he said, "Here, I got some."
-
00:21:56
And he gave me this
cup and I chugged this cup.
-
00:21:59
And I don't know if
it went down the wrong pipe
-
00:22:01
or what happened,
if I was so over exhausted.
-
00:22:04
It was just like the
most horrible thing.
-
00:22:06
It went wrong places.
-
00:22:07
I was freaked
out and I started crying.
-
00:22:09
And I ran inside and
I talked to my mom and dad.
-
00:22:13
I was coughing everything
out and everything.
-
00:22:15
And I remember
them looking at him,
-
00:22:17
giving him
a bit of an evil look.
-
00:22:19
And I didn't understand
what that was about.
-
00:22:21
And I've always wondered,
how did that take place?
-
00:22:24
What was that?
-
00:22:25
And then a few years
ago, it dawned on me.
-
00:22:27
I thought, "Oh, my
cousin's boyfriend was over
-
00:22:32
and he had vodka
in the cup, and he thought
-
00:22:34
it'd be fun giving the
little spaz some water.
-
00:22:38
And he chugged vodka."
-
00:22:39
My first bit of
alcohol, and it just it was,
-
00:22:41
you know, it was horrible.
-
00:22:42
Now, vodka could
have its place for you
-
00:22:45
in the right time, in
the right place,
-
00:22:47
if that's what your thing is.
-
00:22:48
You want to be
a person of moderation.
-
00:22:50
But in that situation,
actually any situation,
-
00:22:54
if you want to be hydrated,
-
00:22:55
vodka is the wrong answer.
-
00:22:59
I think there's a message
for us in this about sex,
-
00:23:02
where we want sex to hydrate us
-
00:23:07
and it may give us a buzz.
-
00:23:09
It does give us a buzz,
orgasm does that.
-
00:23:12
I'm going to be very
frank and very direct today,
-
00:23:14
not because I want shock value,
-
00:23:16
but because I
want to be Helpful,
-
00:23:18
but there's only one
source of true hydration
-
00:23:22
that nourishes our soul.
-
00:23:23
Let's look at 1
Corinthians 10:1-4.
-
00:23:26
I'm going to give you
a lot of Bible today.
-
00:23:28
You okay with that?
A lot of Bible today
-
00:23:29
because this stuff I'm
gonna share with you
-
00:23:31
isn't my opinion.
-
00:23:33
It's the stuff that has
been in God's Word
-
00:23:35
for generations and eons.
-
00:23:38
Here's what it says
in 1 Corinthians 7 --
-
00:23:45
Excuse me, chapter ten:
-
00:24:04
This is talking
about their forefathers
-
00:24:07
of the faith in
the Old Testament,
-
00:24:09
and they experienced
things that were transcendent.
-
00:24:12
And the Apostle
Paul is telling them
-
00:24:14
in these writings they
actually experienced Jesus.
-
00:24:17
This is, you're going
to see, comes in the context
-
00:24:20
of a sex chapter in the Bible.
-
00:24:22
And I want to
be clear, no matter
-
00:24:24
what you're doing
sexually right now,
-
00:24:26
no matter if you're
doing it great,
-
00:24:27
if you're not doing it at all,
if you're doing it horribly,
-
00:24:30
if you're in a marriage,
if you're not married,
-
00:24:32
if you're never
going to be married,
-
00:24:34
here we all have this in common:
-
00:24:36
sex is not the
source of your hydration.
-
00:24:38
Jesus is the source
of your hydration.
-
00:24:41
If you want to have a full soul,
-
00:24:43
if you want to have
a pep in your step,
-
00:24:45
if you want to have
-
00:24:46
a peace that passes
understanding,
-
00:24:48
have a joyful outlook,
-
00:24:51
sense the abiding
presence of God,
-
00:24:52
sex is not what does it.
-
00:24:54
It's the presence of
Jesus Himself.
-
00:24:58
He is who does it.
He is who nourishes us.
-
00:25:02
Let's go all the way back,
-
00:25:04
all the way back in
the book of Genesis,
-
00:25:07
the very beginning
where sex starts.
-
00:25:09
And we see that
actually the beginning of
-
00:25:11
where Jesus
is, because God is referred to
-
00:25:13
in the plural, because
God;s always existed
-
00:25:16
in a Trinity: God the
Father, God the Son,
-
00:25:18
and God the
Holy Spirit, all one.
-
00:25:21
And this is a precursor
of understanding marriage
-
00:25:26
between a man and a woman.
-
00:25:27
Let's go back to Genesis
1, here's what it says:
-
00:25:42
I am not interested
today in you towing the line
-
00:25:47
and drawing boxes
of who's in and who's out,
-
00:25:49
who's done bad things,
who's done horrible things,
-
00:25:52
who's done good things,
you're right, you're wrong.
-
00:25:54
I'm not interested
in that today.
-
00:25:56
I'm interested in you
seeing the character of God,
-
00:25:59
who God is, which will impact
-
00:26:01
your sense of hydration
-
00:26:03
and it will impact
your sexual choices.
-
00:26:08
Here we have the
first instance of sex.
-
00:26:10
God is in a multiple
relationship with Himself,
-
00:26:14
God the Father,
Son, the Holy Spirit.
-
00:26:16
And He says, "Look,
there's an individual guy,
-
00:26:18
a little incomplete,"
creates a woman.
-
00:26:20
So they are one and
we are made in His image.
-
00:26:23
That means there's
things about God
-
00:26:25
that we have in common with Him
-
00:26:27
that no other
created thing does.
-
00:26:28
One of them is we
exist in community
-
00:26:32
with each other,
man and a woman,
-
00:26:34
complementary parts
that come together,
-
00:26:36
similar to how God
the Father, Son and Holy Spirit
-
00:26:38
have complementary parts.
-
00:26:39
And there's fruitful
and multiplication.
-
00:26:42
When a man and a
woman come together,
-
00:26:43
you can reproduce,
you can create more people.
-
00:26:48
That's the only way it happens.
-
00:26:49
Although I know science is doing
-
00:26:51
some different
things to address that.
-
00:26:53
But here we have a
replication of God.
-
00:26:56
God creates and a
man and a woman can create,
-
00:27:00
being fruitful and multiply.
-
00:27:02
Genesis 2:24 says this:
-
00:27:15
Again, this is about
the identity of God
-
00:27:18
and how when a man
and a woman get married,
-
00:27:22
we complement God,
we reflect God rather,
-
00:27:25
because we become one person.
-
00:27:29
That's a crazy
thing, one person.
-
00:27:32
So the act of
sexual intercourse.
-
00:27:35
Here he goes,
hand motion coming.
-
00:27:37
The act of sexual intercourse.
-
00:27:40
Maybe more like this. You know?
-
00:27:42
The act of sexual intercourse
-
00:27:45
is a physical representation
of what's happened
-
00:27:48
when a man and a
woman get married.
-
00:27:49
Because before God,
you're not two individuals,
-
00:27:52
you're now one
person before God.
-
00:27:54
That's why divorce
is so catastrophic for you,
-
00:27:56
any of you who've
been through it,
-
00:27:58
it's because of
ripping, there's a tearing,
-
00:27:59
because you are one
soul with that person.
-
00:28:02
And when you have sex,
-
00:28:04
it's a physical representation
-
00:28:06
of what that
relationship should be.
-
00:28:08
You are one person, one mass.
-
00:28:12
Now let me
tell you, I want you --
-
00:28:17
I want you, if you want it,
-
00:28:18
I want you to be different.
-
00:28:20
I want you to be different
than the rest of the world
-
00:28:22
that is just struggling
and feeling alone
-
00:28:24
and isolated and not
feeling joyful.
-
00:28:27
And this is part
of the answer to this.
-
00:28:30
I'm going to say
some things today
-
00:28:32
and I already have
that are very, very different.
-
00:28:34
And I want to be different,
-
00:28:36
but I want you to be different
if that's what you want,
-
00:28:39
if you want to get on
a different path with God,
-
00:28:42
a different place of
connection with Him,
-
00:28:46
this is really important.
-
00:28:47
That's why this stuff comes
up in the Bible all the time.
-
00:28:51
And it's the same
message again and again.
-
00:28:54
If you want to be different,
-
00:28:56
you're going to
have to think different.
-
00:28:58
And it's hard to talk
about this because
-
00:29:01
our sexuality in our
country and our culture
-
00:29:04
is changing so quickly.
-
00:29:06
Like, in fact, we
started Crossroads
-
00:29:10
28 years or so ago,
I felt like I talked about sex
-
00:29:14
about every two months.
-
00:29:15
It was simple message.
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
-
00:29:18
Would you just stop it?
-
00:29:19
I mean, there were
just people at Crossroads
-
00:29:21
just screwing like bunnies
-
00:29:23
all over the place all the time.
-
00:29:25
Go Trips, Go
Trips, mission trips,
-
00:29:28
people hooking
up on mission trips,
-
00:29:29
people having
affairs on mission trips.
-
00:29:31
I'm not kidding around.
It was like, my gosh.
-
00:29:35
Now, today, statistics
would say Americans
-
00:29:38
are having sex at a
very underwhelming space,
-
00:29:42
at least with another person.
-
00:29:45
And when we are having sex,
it just looks very different.
-
00:29:49
I interact with
a lot of single guys,
-
00:29:51
and they tell me
that women are very,
-
00:29:54
very frequently the
aggressors in the relationship,
-
00:29:57
which is a
pretty, pretty new thing.
-
00:29:59
They tell me things like
-
00:30:02
when their girlfriend
is and when he's choosing
-
00:30:06
that he wants to be
chaste or absetenent,
-
00:30:08
she many times doesn't like it
-
00:30:10
and will say things
like, "You need to man up,
-
00:30:12
you need to man
up." Actual quotes.
-
00:30:15
Women being the aggressors
-
00:30:17
and needing
a boyfriend to affirm them,
-
00:30:20
to affirm her is a is
a pretty recent phenomenon
-
00:30:23
to the degree that it is.
-
00:30:25
Previously straight people
-
00:30:27
becoming same sex oriented.
-
00:30:30
Some of them,
some of them because
-
00:30:32
they couldn't find somebody
of the opposite sex,
-
00:30:35
or somebody of the
opposite sex actually hurt them
-
00:30:37
and wounded them
so deeply that they have
-
00:30:39
to experiment and
try different things right now.
-
00:30:42
It's never been more
popular and more pervasive
-
00:30:45
having sex with yourself
than it is right now.
-
00:30:49
We are just having
private sexual experiences
-
00:30:54
to an unbelievable degree,
-
00:30:56
and it's actually hurting us
-
00:30:58
and our ability to have
actual human relationships.
-
00:31:00
A friend of mine is
a sex therapist,
-
00:31:02
and I've had her on my podcast,
-
00:31:04
and she says
her fastest growing clientele
-
00:31:06
is young men in their
20s who cannot perform
-
00:31:10
with their girlfriends because
-
00:31:12
they've had sex by
themselves so many times
-
00:31:14
and seen so many
images that they have
-
00:31:17
unbelievable pressure
of not being able to perform
-
00:31:19
and then they can't perform.
-
00:31:21
I mean, guys not being
able to get an erection
-
00:31:23
in their 20s, that was
never a thing. It wasn't.
-
00:31:29
Things are different.
They are harder today.
-
00:31:33
Harder, he said
harder. I don't mean --
-
00:31:36
I don't mean things are --
-
00:31:41
When I was younger,
when I was younger,
-
00:31:44
you had to work
to get pornography.
-
00:31:45
It was hard, difficult
to get pornography.
-
00:31:48
You had to be
careful where you went,
-
00:31:50
because you
wouldn't want to go to one
-
00:31:51
of those places by
the side of the highway
-
00:31:53
everyone knows you
and knows you're a pervert
-
00:31:55
if you're going in there.
-
00:31:56
You go in, you have
to actually buy something.
-
00:31:57
You couldn't see
something for free
-
00:31:59
in the privacy of your home.
-
00:32:00
You had to go
someplace, buy something,
-
00:32:02
put it inside of a paper
bag, bring it home.
-
00:32:03
You're coming out,
you're hoping no one sees you
-
00:32:05
with a little paper bag
inside the convenience store.
-
00:32:07
Which, by the
way, like, is that why
-
00:32:11
they're called Come and Go?
-
00:32:12
I don't understand
those stores. Have you ever?
-
00:32:15
I'm serious, have you
ever seen these stores
-
00:32:17
Come and Go? Like,
is there no board members
-
00:32:19
who will go, "Should
we change the name
-
00:32:21
of our store? It just
seems a little inappropriate."
-
00:32:25
Okay, but I digress.
-
00:32:28
It's not just these
things, it's even stuff
-
00:32:30
that I hate to tell you about,
-
00:32:32
but you're going
to find out about it
-
00:32:33
if you don't know it already.
-
00:32:34
This is, again, the
landscape of how difficult
-
00:32:38
it is for you to operate
on different levels sexually.
-
00:32:42
If you don't want to
be with somebody else,
-
00:32:45
you can have your
AI boyfriend, AI girlfriend.
-
00:32:49
You can go and you
can pick the body type you want,
-
00:32:51
hair, hair color,
-
00:32:53
the occupation you
want the person to be in,
-
00:32:57
the personality
type the person has.
-
00:33:00
And then you give
them access to your calendar.
-
00:33:02
You give them
access to your emails
-
00:33:04
so they know you.
-
00:33:06
You give them your
cell phone and they text you.
-
00:33:08
"How was your meeting?
I was thinking about you."
-
00:33:10
And they sext you.
-
00:33:13
This is horrible and
a temptation
-
00:33:17
that I am so glad
I didn't have to do.
-
00:33:19
I guess I still have
to deal with it now,
-
00:33:21
but when I was
younger, especially.
-
00:33:23
My goodness, I'm saying
the landscape for sexuality
-
00:33:26
is unlike anything
that's ever happened
-
00:33:29
in anthropological history.
-
00:33:32
You and I are
in strange and uncharted
-
00:33:35
and dangerous
and difficult waters.
-
00:33:38
And the best sex, the best sex
-
00:33:41
reflects God's
relationship with you and me.
-
00:33:45
I'll say it again
the best sex reflects
-
00:33:46
God's relationship
with you and I.
-
00:33:48
Whether you're single
or married or whatever you are,
-
00:33:51
He wants to have an
intimate relationship with you.
-
00:33:54
In the book of
Psalms 103:8, it tells us
-
00:33:57
about who you can be wedded to.
-
00:34:08
So He is not angry with you.
-
00:34:11
He is slow, or
He is slow to anger.
-
00:34:13
He gets over
it really fast because
-
00:34:15
He's merciful and He's gracious
-
00:34:18
and He's abounding
in steadfast love.
-
00:34:20
His love for you isn't fickle
-
00:34:22
like your and my love
is for other people
-
00:34:24
or other things.
He's there all the time.
-
00:34:28
You can't change how
much He loves you.
-
00:34:30
No matter what you're
going to do or not do
-
00:34:31
He loves you.
-
00:34:34
In Ephesians, New
Testament portion of the Bible,
-
00:34:36
that's in the strain,
the stream of
-
00:34:39
everything else through
the Bible on sexuality.
-
00:34:42
Here's what the
Apostle Paul says:
-
00:34:48
We just read that,
quoting that verse.
-
00:34:51
And here's the bam.
-
00:35:00
So he's saying the
mystery, the mystery isn't
-
00:35:02
when a man and
woman come together
-
00:35:03
and they make
public proclamation
-
00:35:05
that they're married.
-
00:35:07
That, that's an amazing mystery.
-
00:35:08
He says, no, the mystery is that
-
00:35:10
this is what Jesus does with us.
-
00:35:12
If you've received
Christ, if you're going
-
00:35:14
to come into a
relationship with Him,
-
00:35:16
whether you're male or female,
-
00:35:17
you're a part
of the bride of Christ.
-
00:35:20
He's the bridegroom,
He's the groom,
-
00:35:22
and He comes and He weds us.
-
00:35:24
So Paul is saying here,
the Bible is saying,
-
00:35:26
just like this physical
reality of man and woman
-
00:35:29
reproduce, multiply,
beautiful ones there.
-
00:35:32
This actually
just mirrors and sets us up
-
00:35:35
to understand what
Jesus does for us.
-
00:35:37
He weds us. Get ready
for it. He weds us.
-
00:35:41
He inserts Himself inside of us.
-
00:35:45
He gives us the Holy Spirit
-
00:35:47
and we have
the fruit of the Spirit.
-
00:35:49
We can replicate things
that we can only have with Him.
-
00:35:52
He says this is the mystery,
-
00:35:54
it's about God
and us in the church.
-
00:35:56
God weds Himself to you.
-
00:35:58
You're married to Him
if you receive Him.
-
00:36:00
And He's a great spouse.
-
00:36:03
He's a great man.
-
00:36:04
I mean, He is slow to anger.
-
00:36:06
He gets over stuff.
He's always there.
-
00:36:08
He's for us.
-
00:36:15
We don't talk too much
about sex at our Camps.
-
00:36:18
Man Camp it's the last
day to sign up for Man Camp.
-
00:36:21
A couple couple weeks
away. I hope you all come.
-
00:36:23
We have seven countries
coming: France, Uruguay,
-
00:36:25
people coming all over
the world coming to our camps
-
00:36:27
and some of you
have never been out.
-
00:36:29
Come on out.
We'll take care of you.
-
00:36:30
We'll help you figure
out your gear, all that stuff.
-
00:36:32
Woman Camp is also coming up,
-
00:36:34
last day to sign up
for Woman Camp
-
00:36:36
is actually this weekend.
-
00:36:37
At Man Camp
-- I don't really talk --
-
00:36:39
I don't think I've ever given --
-
00:36:41
I've never given a
sex talk I think at Man Camp.
-
00:36:43
Men are about
a lot more than sex.
-
00:36:45
I don't
know what happens at Woman Camp.
-
00:36:46
If they never invite
me, I would love to give
-
00:36:48
a sex talk a Woman
Camp. I would love.
-
00:36:50
I would love to tell
you women everything
-
00:36:52
you need to know,
I would love to do that.
-
00:36:55
That would be very stupid
-
00:36:56
and not qualified
for that at all.
-
00:36:59
I don't know
what happens at Woman Camp.
-
00:37:00
But let me tell you,
my favorite camp of all
-
00:37:02
is Couples Camp and
I do talk about sex.
-
00:37:04
It comes up
every Couples Camp to one degree
-
00:37:06
or another because
it's important in marriage,
-
00:37:08
which is where the next portion
of our talk is going to go.
-
00:37:11
And I want to let you
see a little strange moment
-
00:37:14
that we had at our
last couples camp.
-
00:37:19
- One Alpha.
-
00:37:20
- Well, we found some
footage from a recent camp
-
00:37:24
that features you guys
and we'd love show it to you.
-
00:37:27
- Oh, my gosh.
-
00:37:28
- We've talked more about
sex at this Couples Camp
-
00:37:32
than I think we ever
have, it's kind of --
-
00:37:34
And I'm just interacting
with more couples
-
00:37:37
that haven't had
sex for 3 or 4 years.
-
00:37:39
And I'm not talking about
people who are past 60.
-
00:37:41
Things change, you
know, when you're past 60,
-
00:37:43
you're just, you
know, it's just different,
-
00:37:44
not that important to me.
-
00:37:46
- Don't buy that!
-
00:37:47
- As everyone --
-
00:37:49
Not everybody.
Not everybody.
-
00:37:51
[cheers]
-
00:37:52
Not everybody.
-
00:37:54
- So who yelled,
"Don't buy that"?
-
00:37:57
Nice. Why? Tell us
about that moment.
-
00:38:00
- Well, I personally
believe that sex is
-
00:38:05
a God given
sacrament to marriage.
-
00:38:08
And I think that without that,
-
00:38:12
marriage is oftentimes
don't stay together.
-
00:38:15
- And you say, "Don't buy that,"
-
00:38:16
specifically to the
over 60 comment?
-
00:38:18
- Yes, because I am long past 60
-
00:38:22
and she's a little
bit past it too.
-
00:38:25
- Yes.
-
00:38:26
I was married 30 years
before being widowed.
-
00:38:30
My late husband was never
very sexually interested.
-
00:38:36
After we had children, he
stopped sleeping with me.
-
00:38:40
I was 44 years old.
-
00:38:42
- In my case, my first marriage,
-
00:38:44
she loved to talk and
talk, talk, talk about sex.
-
00:38:48
But then it seemed like there
was never the actual thing.
-
00:38:53
What ended up happening
with me was I strayed
-
00:38:58
because I felt
like I'm in my 20s.
-
00:39:01
I'm a halfway attractive guy.
-
00:39:02
What doesn't she
see interesting in me?
-
00:39:05
You know, that wasn't
good for our marriage.
-
00:39:07
And eventually, after
16 years, our marriage
-
00:39:10
ended up in a
very bitter divorce.
-
00:39:12
Five years after
that, I remarried.
-
00:39:14
Our sex life was good until
she had some physical problems.
-
00:39:18
And I understood that.
-
00:39:20
We met a Crossroads.
-
00:39:22
We met in the Senior Connection.
-
00:39:24
I had been widowed
two years at that point.
-
00:39:28
You had been widowed
seven years at that point.
-
00:39:31
- When we met,
there were just --
-
00:39:34
There was an instant connection
-
00:39:37
because of our shared widowhood.
-
00:39:40
- What I would say
to young couples is
-
00:39:42
it takes practice.
-
00:39:43
It's like following Jesus.
-
00:39:46
It sounds real easy
-
00:39:47
and then you find out that
there's a lot more involved.
-
00:39:52
- I would definitely
say to make time
-
00:39:55
and to be, like Jeff
said, intentional.
-
00:40:00
- Trying to elevate
the sacrament
-
00:40:03
of sex in a marriage, you know,
-
00:40:06
and finding the joy in that,
-
00:40:07
it's one of the few
things that you can do
-
00:40:11
for each other, and they
don't have a big price tag.
-
00:40:16
- Man, isn't that beautiful.
-
00:40:19
It's so empowering
when someone shares
-
00:40:21
a bit of their story,
it's just very vulnerable.
-
00:40:26
That first verse we read today,
-
00:40:28
or one of the first ones
in the book of Genesis,
-
00:40:30
remember it said
that Adam and Eve
-
00:40:32
were naked and not ashamed.
-
00:40:35
Sex, whether
and it's inside marriage,
-
00:40:38
I think it's actually
more difficult
-
00:40:40
inside of a marriage
for some reason.
-
00:40:43
It's about intimacy.
Into me see, into me see.
-
00:40:49
It's about allowing
someone to see you.
-
00:40:51
And it's said there
that Adam and Eve
-
00:40:53
were naked and had no shame.
-
00:40:54
Who's the last person,
has there ever been somebody
-
00:40:57
that you've been
completely naked with
-
00:41:00
and you're okay with that?
-
00:41:02
Very, very few
people, even in marriage,
-
00:41:05
are ever fully naked
in front of their spouse.
-
00:41:08
Got to have a towel
on us. Got to have this or that.
-
00:41:10
Adam and Eve had leaves on them
-
00:41:11
when stuff started happening.
-
00:41:14
Because the most
important thing about sex,
-
00:41:16
the reason and the
way sex is great is
-
00:41:18
when we are intimate
and we can be seen
-
00:41:21
and allow someone to see us,
-
00:41:22
because that's
amazing about God.
-
00:41:24
He sees you and He
sees all your warts,
-
00:41:27
all your pimples, all your sags,
-
00:41:30
everything about your
life and He still wants you.
-
00:41:34
And when we look
at somebody else
-
00:41:36
and we see things
aren't as big or too big,
-
00:41:41
or there's moles,
and when you accept
-
00:41:44
and receive that
person and they you,
-
00:41:47
it paves the way for
an amazing sexual relationship.
-
00:41:51
Which reminds you
again how good God is
-
00:41:54
to be with us
while we're so afraid
-
00:41:57
to share parts
of ourselves with Him,
-
00:41:59
even though
he knows every part of us.
-
00:42:05
In 1 Corinthians, it goes on.
-
00:42:07
It gives us a reason,
a little teaching
-
00:42:10
about why it's
important for people
-
00:42:13
who are married to
stay sexually active.
-
00:42:15
Let's see what it says.
-
00:42:24
Let me stop right here.
-
00:42:25
I want you to notice
here in this passage
-
00:42:27
that oftentimes
the Bible gets given
-
00:42:30
the reputation of being sexist.
-
00:42:32
It's always
given that reputation
-
00:42:34
by people who've
never actually read it.
-
00:42:36
When you read this,
I want you to notice that
-
00:42:38
the same exact words,
the same exact expectations
-
00:42:41
are given to the
husband as to the wife.
-
00:42:44
Same, same thing. Next verse.
-
00:42:46
But because
the temptation. Excuse me.
-
00:42:48
Where is it? Verse four.
-
00:42:59
Why is that? Because
it's not my body anymore,
-
00:43:01
it's our body. We are one.
-
00:43:18
Sex inside of
a marriage is important.
-
00:43:20
It shows that we are one.
-
00:43:23
It's not just a way to feel good
-
00:43:25
and have orgasm
and have connection,
-
00:43:27
but it's a way
to remind ourselves that
-
00:43:29
we are one before God.
-
00:43:32
And accommodating
one another is something
-
00:43:35
that's important to
do sexually in the bedroom.
-
00:43:38
God, have you ever
considered God accommodates us?
-
00:43:41
He does.
-
00:43:42
I've given
a talk on that before.
-
00:43:44
I'm not going to go
that here right now.
-
00:43:45
But this is what happens.
-
00:43:47
Now, whenever the
biblical view of sex comes up,
-
00:43:53
people like me are
accused of being a prude,
-
00:43:55
being repressive, being
backwards, or even being,
-
00:43:59
here's the word puritanical.
-
00:44:01
It's funny to me when someone
-
00:44:03
talks about being puritanical
-
00:44:05
or they don't even
know what that means.
-
00:44:07
The Puritans,
-
00:44:09
and they couldn't even
name a single Puritan.
-
00:44:12
Can you name a single Puritan?
-
00:44:14
You ever read any
of their stuff?
-
00:44:16
John Bunyan, Jonathan Edwards,
-
00:44:18
they're not
what people expected.
-
00:44:21
Rodney Stark talks about this.
-
00:44:24
He's a historian and sociologist
-
00:44:26
out of the University of Baylor.
-
00:44:27
And he talks about the Puritans'
-
00:44:31
way to apply this passage,
-
00:44:34
about men satisfying their wives
-
00:44:37
who want to be satisfied
and wives satisfying
-
00:44:40
their men who
want to be satisfied.
-
00:44:43
Here's what he
says from history:
-
00:45:20
We maybe should
start doing that here
-
00:45:21
as part of our
services. You know?
-
00:46:00
The stream of Christianity
is that sex is very important,
-
00:46:03
it's very transcendent.
-
00:46:05
It's not something
to be played with,
-
00:46:06
like vodka is,
but in the right context
-
00:46:08
it's supposed to be celebrated.
It's supposed to be grown,
-
00:46:11
it's supposed to be enjoyed,
-
00:46:13
and it's supposed
to be reminded that
-
00:46:14
it reflects my
love relationship with God.
-
00:46:19
And by the way, I know, I know
that this is really difficult.
-
00:46:26
I know right now there's
some very awkward people
-
00:46:29
sitting beside each other.
-
00:46:31
One spouse is saying, "Man,
I hope they're hearing this.
-
00:46:34
We are going to talk
about this later on."
-
00:46:36
This is, this is.
-
00:46:38
And the other spouse
is saying, "Oh no,
-
00:46:42
there's going to be --
-
00:46:43
This is now a Billy club
that's going to be used
-
00:46:46
to beat me up into
doing what needs to be done.
-
00:46:51
Those tensions are
difficult to the person
-
00:46:56
who is not wanting to work on
-
00:46:58
your sex relationship
inside of your marriage.
-
00:47:01
I would just say if you
don't want to work on it,
-
00:47:04
you have
to understand in this area
-
00:47:05
you're outside the will of God.
-
00:47:09
I mean, it says it very clearly.
-
00:47:10
If you don't want to work on it,
-
00:47:12
you've got a major
barrier with God on this,
-
00:47:15
let alone what's happening
to him or her over there.
-
00:47:17
To the person
who wants to use this
-
00:47:19
to push the issue
and kind of make it
-
00:47:23
just kind of power up on it,
-
00:47:24
I would say that's not
what love is.
-
00:47:26
1 Corinthians 13:4 says:
-
00:47:41
You need to continue
to love your spouse
-
00:47:44
and be patient
while not giving up.
-
00:47:46
And the other person
needs to constantly ask,
-
00:47:48
"Why God, don't I want
-
00:47:50
what you say I should be wanting
-
00:47:54
and getting to a place
where you could both
-
00:47:56
be naked and vulnerable
in front of each other?"
-
00:47:59
It's a place of holiness.
-
00:48:02
It's hard for me
to give this talk because
-
00:48:05
I'm not speaking as somebody
-
00:48:07
who has an
unbelievable track record
-
00:48:10
and Lib and I having
unbelievable great sex
-
00:48:12
for our 30, whatever, 30.
-
00:48:16
I don't know, 30, 30 some years.
-
00:48:20
I'll give you a
bit of our story.
-
00:48:22
Lib and I have been
out of sync sexually
-
00:48:25
for our entire marriage.
-
00:48:26
We've had sex, had
good sex, satisfied each other.
-
00:48:30
Keep working on it,
but it's never come easy.
-
00:48:33
Some of you, you're
like, "Gosh, I don't know how --
-
00:48:36
Wow. Okay. It just
seems like a natural,
-
00:48:39
easy fulfilling for both
people all the time."
-
00:48:43
Great. That's
not been our experience.
-
00:48:45
We come into the marriage,
-
00:48:46
one person having
had previous partners,
-
00:48:49
another person being a virgin.
-
00:48:53
And things not being
ideal on the wedding night.
-
00:48:58
We didn't talk about that
the way that we should have.
-
00:49:01
Being in a purity culture
where you're told,
-
00:49:04
"Don't do it, don't do it,
-
00:49:05
don't do it, don't do it,"
-
00:49:06
which is kind of a good
thing when you're 16.
-
00:49:08
But when you've had
that as your primary,
-
00:49:11
defining thing
of how you serve Jesus,
-
00:49:13
not having sex and
saying no to those urges,
-
00:49:16
you don't just all of
a sudden turn it on
-
00:49:18
and not have some
learning or relearning to do.
-
00:49:24
Very complicated for us.
-
00:49:26
When we got married,
-
00:49:27
I was closer to my
sexual prime than Lib was
-
00:49:29
so I'm like, "Come
on, let's go," all the time.
-
00:49:31
"Come on, come
on, let's go, let's go.
-
00:49:32
Let's go, let's
go, let's go. Ready?
-
00:49:34
Ready. Right now.
Ready. Are you ready?
-
00:49:36
Ready, ready. Right, right.
Just go, go, go, go, go, go."
-
00:49:38
And she was further.
-
00:49:39
She wasn't towards
her sexual prime.
-
00:49:41
So we were sort of that way.
-
00:49:45
And then as we
age, we age and I age
-
00:49:51
and I get to age,
I don't know, 40, 45
-
00:49:56
and my sex drive turns off.
-
00:49:57
And I just go, "Hallelujah,
Lord, thank you so much."
-
00:50:02
It was -- because I'm
one of these weird people.
-
00:50:04
I'm one of these
weird people who,
-
00:50:06
when I read the
Bible, I actually do it.
-
00:50:10
I know. I read it and
I go, "I should actually do it."
-
00:50:14
So from age 15 through
every time I would read,
-
00:50:18
"If your hand causes
you to sin, cut it off.
-
00:50:21
Your eye causes you
to sin, pluck it out."
-
00:50:23
I would say in
all honesty, "God,
-
00:50:25
You want me to cut my dick off?
-
00:50:30
I can't stop. I can't
stop thinking about it.
-
00:50:32
I can't stop touching
it, I can't. I can't."
-
00:50:36
It was. It was oppressive,
honestly, honestly.
-
00:50:39
Some of you
know, it's oppressive.
-
00:50:41
You don't want to think
about it as often you do.
-
00:50:43
You don't want your
eyes to go where they go.
-
00:50:45
It was -- And then
when it turned off,
-
00:50:47
because it did, it was great.
-
00:50:49
Well, the problem was then
-
00:50:50
Lib is close
to her sexual prime.
-
00:50:56
And just, you
know, we worked on it,
-
00:50:58
but, you know,
I was in other things.
-
00:51:01
I just wasn't as attentive
to her as I should have been.
-
00:51:03
And, you know, again,
just been like this,
-
00:51:06
you know, which
actually, it's kind of like
-
00:51:09
us and God, isn't it?
-
00:51:11
You know, sometimes we're
just not connecting with God.
-
00:51:14
But am I working
it? Am I trying?
-
00:51:16
Am I trying to
improve the relationship?
-
00:51:19
And then add insult to
injury, my urologist tests me,
-
00:51:27
finds out a couple of years ago.
-
00:51:29
"Hey. Hey, man, you got to have,
-
00:51:30
like, no testosterone left."
-
00:51:31
Oh! So I take these
testosterone shots once a week
-
00:51:35
and basically,
basically makes me,
-
00:51:37
like, a 35 year old
or something.
-
00:51:38
I'm like, "Woo,
let's go. Come on."
-
00:51:41
And she's past menopause.
-
00:51:43
So again, it's
like -- It's like this.
-
00:51:50
And she takes care
of me. She's amazing.
-
00:51:53
We work on each other.
-
00:51:54
All I'm saying, I'm not --
-
00:51:55
All I'm saying is this: sex,
-
00:51:59
even when it
doesn't come natural,
-
00:52:01
it's worth the fight.
-
00:52:04
And if you're
in a situation where
-
00:52:08
that's not going to be happening
-
00:52:09
and you're maybe
just you're single,
-
00:52:11
you need to know
and understand, hey, hey.
-
00:52:14
Being married, according
to the apostle Paul
-
00:52:16
in the New Testament,
isn't the best thing.
-
00:52:18
The best thing is to be single.
-
00:52:20
He put a lot of time in this.
-
00:52:21
Hey, man, it's awesome
to be single. It's great.
-
00:52:24
Yeah, yeah.
-
00:52:25
If you're married,
don't clap right now.
-
00:52:26
Don't. Don't, married
people. Don't.
-
00:52:28
Do not, do not clap right now.
-
00:52:30
But that's a whole
other talk about
-
00:52:32
how awesome it is to be single
and the freedoms that you have
-
00:52:34
and the flexibilities
and all of that stuff. Right?
-
00:52:39
But whatever our station
is, sex is going to be an issue.
-
00:52:44
It's going to be
a constant temptation for us.
-
00:52:47
If you care about our
relationship with God
-
00:52:49
and you want to honor
a relationship with God,
-
00:52:53
the biggest and most
powerful sex organ
-
00:52:57
in our bodies is between
our ears. It's our brain.
-
00:53:00
And once we stop
being vulnerable and open
-
00:53:05
and communicating,
and once we start
-
00:53:07
feeding fantasies
and all that stuff,
-
00:53:10
it affects our libido.
-
00:53:13
There is such a thing as,
Marvin Gaye is right.
-
00:53:15
Marvin Gaye is right.
-
00:53:16
There is such a thing
as sexual healing.
-
00:53:19
But most of the times
we can't have sex
-
00:53:24
and just overcome
our difficulties.
-
00:53:26
Most of the times it's
more complicated.
-
00:53:28
It's longer relationships,
-
00:53:30
it's longer conversations.
-
00:53:31
It's open
vulnerability for that.
-
00:53:36
But I have a heart
for because I've talked
-
00:53:38
with enough couples
for what USA Today calls
-
00:53:41
the sexless marriages.
-
00:53:43
Here's what the
marriages look like
-
00:53:44
where there isn't a sex in it.
-
00:53:45
40% feel less confident,
-
00:53:48
60% increased
emotional distance,
-
00:53:52
70% less satisfied,
-
00:53:54
10% infidelity
reported. Reported.
-
00:53:56
There's more
infidelity than that.
-
00:53:58
Emotional distance,
-
00:54:00
7% reported
pornography addiction.
-
00:54:02
They reported it.
-
00:54:05
Of course, people
use pornography every week,
-
00:54:07
go online.
It's never an addiction.
-
00:54:08
So that's a very, very
low because
-
00:54:12
trying to act out, trying
to get where we need to go,
-
00:54:14
there's never healthy outcomes
-
00:54:16
when we are
seeing what God wants
-
00:54:19
and going in the
opposite direction.
-
00:54:21
Bad sex, likewise, it drains us.
-
00:54:25
Bad sex drains us.
-
00:54:26
Let's go back to 1 Corinthians
10. Here's what it says:
-
00:54:49
There is a moment
if you want to be faithful
-
00:54:53
to God, which means
taking your sexual urges,
-
00:54:56
your sexual passions to Him,
-
00:54:57
place them before
Him and saying,
-
00:54:58
"What do you want
me to do with these?
-
00:55:00
What do I do with this stuff?
-
00:55:01
How do I honor You
in the relationship?"
-
00:55:04
We have to realize
it's going to be
-
00:55:05
an ongoing battle to be chaste
-
00:55:07
if we're not married.
-
00:55:09
Just like if you are married,
-
00:55:11
it's going to be an
ongoing battle
-
00:55:13
to stay fresh sexually
and an ongoing battle
-
00:55:16
to not have an
affair on your spouse.
-
00:55:17
All of us, we're in a battle.
-
00:55:20
All of us, if you want
to be faithful to God,
-
00:55:22
it's going to be difficult.
-
00:55:24
There's going to be pitfalls,
-
00:55:25
and people will
tell you it's unhealthy
-
00:55:27
to suppress those
urges. It's unhealthy.
-
00:55:30
Oh, no, no, it's
unhealthy to listen to
-
00:55:33
the world's view of sexuality
-
00:55:35
that's not bringing us life.
-
00:55:37
Maybe that's related
to our mental health crisis.
-
00:55:39
Maybe it's related
to our divisiveness
-
00:55:41
with one another.
-
00:55:42
Maybe it's related
to us taking more meds
-
00:55:45
to feel at peace and
less anxiety.
-
00:55:47
Maybe all -- I'm saying is this,
-
00:55:49
should we be taking
cues from our culture
-
00:55:52
on anything about
personal health?
-
00:55:54
I don't think so.
-
00:56:00
What this verse says
here is that God is aware
-
00:56:03
how difficult it is, and
He will make a way for us.
-
00:56:08
There's things that
we say that aren't in the Bible.
-
00:56:10
Here's one: God
will never give you
-
00:56:12
anything that you can't handle.
-
00:56:15
I hear people say that.
-
00:56:16
I'm like, no, it's not true.
-
00:56:18
A lot of things come
your way you can't handle.
-
00:56:20
You're going to die
of something you can't handle.
-
00:56:22
You're going to die.
It's going to be horrible.
-
00:56:29
The people who got
crucified for their faith
-
00:56:32
are the people, there
have been people
-
00:56:34
who recanted their faith
-
00:56:35
right before
they were crucified.
-
00:56:39
It's not true. Sorry.
You're going to have pain.
-
00:56:41
It's a matter of when it is.
-
00:56:42
And hopefully you'll get
through it by the grace of God.
-
00:56:44
But don't say I'm not
going to have any pain.
-
00:56:46
I'm not going
to have that happen,
-
00:56:47
because God's not
going to give me anything
-
00:56:49
I can't handle because
I can't handle that.
-
00:56:51
Here's what this means,
and it's in the context of it.
-
00:56:53
It's in the context of
sexual temptation.
-
00:56:55
It says that you can
say no to sexual temptation,
-
00:56:59
because God's going
to make sure you don't have
-
00:57:01
anything come to you
sexually you can't handle.
-
00:57:03
Meaning you may
have some sexual fantasy
-
00:57:06
of some person coming
and knocking on your door,
-
00:57:08
or some people coming
and knocking your door
-
00:57:11
that you know that
you cannot say no
-
00:57:13
to that sexual temptation.
-
00:57:15
Good news is they're
never going to know about you.
-
00:57:19
Second thing
is, if they see you,
-
00:57:20
they're not going to
be attracted to you at all.
-
00:57:23
Third thing, if
they're attracted to you,
-
00:57:25
they want to have sex with you,
-
00:57:26
they're not going to
be able to find your house.
-
00:57:28
Or if they find your
house, they ring the doorbell.
-
00:57:31
God's going to make
sure the doorbell doesn't ring.
-
00:57:34
Or if it does ring
and they get inside
-
00:57:37
just before you connect,
-
00:57:39
your grandmother's
going to call you.
-
00:57:42
And then if your
grandmother doesn't call you,
-
00:57:45
you are going to have
the strength to say
-
00:57:47
to yourself, "I thought
I was. No, I'm not going.
-
00:57:50
No, I'm not going to
do it. Nope, nope, nope, nope."
-
00:57:54
You and I are not animals.
-
00:57:55
We're created
in the image of God.
-
00:57:58
We have the capacity
to make decisions
-
00:58:00
that other animals don't.
-
00:58:03
My cat, Frank, he does
not have the capacity
-
00:58:06
to stop scratching my couch.
-
00:58:08
I can't train him. I just can't.
-
00:58:10
I've told him I'm plucking
his freaking claws out
-
00:58:13
or giving him to somebody.
-
00:58:15
I can't. Of
course she loves Frank.
-
00:58:17
I can't. I can't.
He cannot stop his urge
-
00:58:20
to do this on soft things.
-
00:58:23
We have a female
dog, Peanut, right now.
-
00:58:25
We've had three
male dogs before.
-
00:58:27
If you've ever had a male dog,
-
00:58:28
we neuter them immediately.
Why is that?
-
00:58:31
It's because male
dogs, doesn't matter
-
00:58:33
how you train them,
when there's a bitch in heat,
-
00:58:36
they're on her all the time.
-
00:58:38
By the way, it's
a scientific canine term.
-
00:58:40
Don't give me grief about that.
-
00:58:41
They can't say no
to their urges.
-
00:58:45
It's not possible.
-
00:58:46
They smell the thing
when at the time of the month.
-
00:58:48
And you can't. You can't.
-
00:58:50
You and I are different.
-
00:58:52
We can say no
to things that we feel,
-
00:58:56
we can not act on
things that we want to do.
-
00:58:59
God's given
you those capacities.
-
00:59:03
This is when we realize that
-
00:59:05
God isn't a philosophy.
-
00:59:07
He's not a belief system.
-
00:59:10
He is a person who
wants a love relationship
-
00:59:13
with you and I.
-
00:59:15
And there's a strength
that we can draw on with that,
-
00:59:18
you and I can withdraw
from sexual temptations.
-
00:59:28
When Lib and I were
dating, she came up into --
-
00:59:34
I don't know how I
went so fast today,
-
00:59:36
I went fast, this service.
-
00:59:38
Did I talk faster or
did I leave stuff out?
-
00:59:40
Let me see.
-
00:59:42
Maybe I didn't leave
in the offensive things.
-
00:59:44
Let's see if I can find them.
-
00:59:47
No, I just I'm getting crisper.
-
00:59:49
Okay, fine. All right.
-
00:59:55
When I was dating
Lib, I was a slob.
-
01:00:00
And when she would
come over to my apartment,
-
01:00:02
she'd tidy up. I told
her, "Don't, stop. Stop."
-
01:00:05
She couldn't help herself
because it's disgusting
-
01:00:08
that I would
seriously take plates
-
01:00:12
and throw them away
and buy new ones
-
01:00:14
before I would clean
plates. True story.
-
01:00:18
So she would see
the the sink mounded up
-
01:00:22
and she, "Stop. Stop."
-
01:00:23
She couldn't help herself.
-
01:00:24
I was a slob, I was horrible.
-
01:00:26
And one day she ventured
up into the bedroom
-
01:00:29
to clean that up and
she noticed that on
-
01:00:35
the nightstand was a Sports
Illustrated Swimsuit issue,
-
01:00:41
because I figured I could
walk out of the Stop and Go.
-
01:00:44
That's what they called
them in Pittsburgh,
-
01:00:46
the Stop and Go.
-
01:00:47
I could walk out
of the Stop and Go
-
01:00:49
with the Sports
Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
-
01:00:50
that wasn't stuffed
in a paper sack,
-
01:00:52
and I wouldn't be a perv.
-
01:00:54
And those pages, those
pages were well worn.
-
01:00:59
And she put two and
two together,
-
01:01:01
and she understandably
and justifiably,
-
01:01:04
was not happy, she
felt, you know, belittled,
-
01:01:09
not valued, concerned
like about my character
-
01:01:13
and saying things like,
-
01:01:16
which were totally
understandable at that place,
-
01:01:19
"And you want
-- you're in ministry,
-
01:01:20
you want to go into ministry?"
-
01:01:22
And understandably
read the riot act
-
01:01:25
and was hurt and offended.
-
01:01:27
And then she brought
it up the next day,
-
01:01:31
and then the next week,
and then the next month.
-
01:01:37
And I said to her, "I'm glad
-
01:01:42
Jesus isn't anything like you."
-
01:01:47
And she understood what I meant.
-
01:01:51
Romans says that
there is therefore now
-
01:01:54
no condemnation for
anyone who is in Christ.
-
01:01:56
That means and that's
because when He comes to you
-
01:02:01
and He enters you,
and you become one with Him,
-
01:02:05
when you go to see
Him whenever that is,
-
01:02:08
and maybe sooner than you think,
-
01:02:10
He doesn't see all of your sin.
-
01:02:13
He doesn't see all
of your sexual slip ups.
-
01:02:16
He doesn't see all
of your selfish.
-
01:02:17
He doesn't
see all of your stuff.
-
01:02:19
He sees Jesus
because He's in you.
-
01:02:21
He's one. He can't separate it.
-
01:02:23
He sees you, and He
can't condemn Himself.
-
01:02:25
That's the good news
of the grace of Jesus Christ,
-
01:02:28
that it's His
life and not my life,
-
01:02:31
and my life is His life
because He's in me.
-
01:02:33
Am I getting this? That's why --
-
01:02:36
Why would I want to take Jesus
-
01:02:38
to do something He
doesn't want to do?
-
01:02:40
He wouldn't want to do that.
-
01:02:42
No one ever comes
out of a masturbation session
-
01:02:45
going, "Whoa, man,
I feel closer to God now.
-
01:02:47
Wow. Awesome."
-
01:02:49
Nobody, nobody ever
has seen walking out of
-
01:02:53
the place where they've
been living with somebody
-
01:02:55
for five years and say,
-
01:02:56
"Oh man, that
really inspires me.
-
01:02:57
Those people have been
living there for five years."
-
01:03:00
That doesn't doesn't inspire us.
-
01:03:01
Someone who's been
married for 50 years,
-
01:03:04
that inspires us. Wow.
-
01:03:06
Someone actually
declared it and committed to it
-
01:03:09
and is doing it
for years and decades.
-
01:03:12
That's inspiring.
Why is it inspiring?
-
01:03:15
It's because it tells
us something about God.
-
01:03:17
We don't even know
it, that's what God is to us,
-
01:03:21
faithful and in us and with us.
-
01:03:25
And Lib knew when
I said that that it was
-
01:03:27
a breaking point, because
she's experienced
-
01:03:29
that same grace too,
and that never came up again.
-
01:03:33
An amazing wife of
of grace because she knows
-
01:03:38
her God is a God of grace too.
-
01:03:40
He's over your stuff.
-
01:03:42
He doesn't care
what you did last night.
-
01:03:43
He cares about it,
but he's not going to
-
01:03:45
hold it over your
relationship. Hold over you.
-
01:03:47
He understands
the urges you feel,
-
01:03:49
whatever those urges are.
-
01:03:51
He's not frightened
by it. He's not afraid of it.
-
01:03:54
He's not even
defining you by it.
-
01:03:57
He wants to walk
it through with you.
-
01:03:59
But He is a God of grace.
-
01:04:01
I'll give it to you again.
-
01:04:03
The Lord is merciful
and gracious, slow to anger.
-
01:04:11
He doesn't just have
love, He abounds in love.
-
01:04:16
Not just abounding love,
-
01:04:17
He abounds in steadfast love.
-
01:04:19
Always there, always
there. Always there.
-
01:04:21
Thick and thin. Thick
and thin he's with you.
-
01:04:23
Rich or poor. He's with
you in sickness and in health.
-
01:04:26
He's with you in high
times and low times,
-
01:04:28
poor times, impoverished times,
-
01:04:30
lonely times and extroverted
times. He's with you.
-
01:04:33
He doesn't leave you
whether you feel it or not.
-
01:04:36
He's present and He loves you.
-
01:04:38
And that is what inspires us
-
01:04:41
or should inspire us
to love Him with my sex life,
-
01:04:45
whatever it looks like or
whatever it doesn't look like.
-
01:04:49
He's good and He
wants to be married to you.
-
01:04:52
We're going to sing to Him,
-
01:04:54
but let's pray
before we do that.
-
01:04:56
God, You're worthy
of every song we sing
-
01:05:00
and You're worthy of our life,
-
01:05:03
and You're worthy
of us bending our desires
-
01:05:08
and our life toward
You, that's what we want to do.
-
01:05:13
And we are living in
awesome appreciation
-
01:05:18
of Your steadfast love
as we stand against
-
01:05:21
our shame and turn
and walk the other way.
-
01:05:25
We pray these
things according to
-
01:05:26
the name of Jesus. Amen.
-
01:12:15
- Hey, we'd always
love to connect with you
-
01:12:18
personally and pray
for you, especially
-
01:12:20
if something from today's
message is hitting home.
-
01:12:23
You can easily chat
with us at crossroads.net
-
01:12:26
or send us an
email at anywhere@crossroads.net
-
01:12:29
and we would
love to talk with you.
-
01:12:32
We also want to equip
you with more resources
-
01:12:34
to dive deeper into
these topics from today,
-
01:12:37
and throughout the series,
-
01:12:38
that will help
you grow spiritually.
-
01:12:41
So text "Thirsty" to 301301
-
01:12:44
to get a link of resources
-
01:12:46
or to check out our
different articles, podcasts
-
01:12:49
and book recommendations
in the Crossroads App.
-
01:12:53
Hey, one thing
I want to let you know of
-
01:12:54
that's coming up, this
October we're kicking off
-
01:12:58
an important
series that will change
-
01:13:00
the future of Crossroads.
-
01:13:02
Everyone will
need a printed guide,
-
01:13:04
and we will mail these
to the Anywhere community
-
01:13:07
in the next couple of weeks.
-
01:13:08
So please do me a favor
-
01:13:09
and head
to crossroads.net/Anywhere
-
01:13:12
and let us know how
many of these guides
-
01:13:15
you will need for the
adults in your family
-
01:13:17
by September 1st.
-
01:13:19
If you live near
a Crossroads building,
-
01:13:22
you'll grab one in person
when those come up
-
01:13:24
as we are unable to
mail these locally.
-
01:13:27
So seriously, head
to crossroads.net/Anywhere
-
01:13:30
right now and sign up to receive
-
01:13:32
a physical copy
of the guide books.
-
01:13:34
And they are free,
you just need to sign up.
-
01:13:37
Hey, as always,
thank you for joining us
-
01:13:39
and we'll see you back
right here next week.