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You were made to be brave.
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You were born to make a difference.
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God designed you for heart-pumping, joy-filled adventure,
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and we're here to guide you to that adventurous life.
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Crossroads Church.
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- Hi, I'm Chuck Mingo, one of the teaching pastors at Crossroads.
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Thanks for joining us for a new series called Mindset
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where we're looking at how to master our thoughts and our emotions.
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Our emotions are a big part of how we're made as people,
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but they can also get out of control.
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And so in this series we're looking at
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how to not let them control us, but also how not to avoid them.
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I think we're all feeling some big emotions right now,
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whether we are concerned about job security
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or maybe our own health or the health of someone we care about.
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We have our family at home more,
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we're remote schooling our kids.
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In fact, just the other day,
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I totally lost it on one of my kids because of something
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I saw them do to their sibling that was not OK.
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But you know what? My response wasn't OK either.
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And so in this series we're looking at
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how to help our minds get to a better place.
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How do we change our mindset so on the other side
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we're healthier people.
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- How do I feel about the pandemic and the quarantine?
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- A mix of emotions.
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- I don't want to get laid off work.
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- Honestly, it changes every day.
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- Overwhelmed and incredibly monotonous.
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- If have to build one more pillow fort I could lose my mind.
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- My favorite thing about the quarantine
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is that I get to spend a lot of time with my sisters.
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- Well, I'm doing college at home
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so I haven't been late to a single 8 a.m. class.
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- I've been talking with my family on the phone.
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- I like sleeping in and my parents finally let me get Fortnite.
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- I get to play in my back yard more.
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- My dad had this idea to build a fort underneath the stairs
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and he taught me how to rewire an electrical outlet.
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- Well, I don't really like going places
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so I get to stay home in my pajamas.
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- I've been baking like a lot.
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- We get to have dance parties
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and we get to stay up a little later.
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- If you control your thoughts,
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you will control your future.
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If you can control your emotions,
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you will control your future.
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Your future is dictated by what happens
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between these ears right here.
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The Bible says as a man or woman thinketh, so is he.
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What we think, what we feel will tell us who we are.
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And you control your life.
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You control your life,
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not the government controlling your life,
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not coronavirus controlling your life,
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not the economy controlling your life.
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You control it.
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Some people don't think this is possible.
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Believe it or not, you can actually control your emotions.
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Emotions are like fire.
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Fire can be incredibly redemptive.
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It can fire a steam-fired locomotive and take your life someplace
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or it can destroy and devastate your life.
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Proverbs 25:28:
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A man without self-control
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is like a city broken into and left without walls.
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We just got done with a series on Jesus,
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the myths surrounding Jesus.
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We saw some of the classic places where He went in Israel
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during the last series.
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But if we're not careful,
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we might forget that Jesus was actually human.
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He was fully God, fully man at the same time.
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And as human, He had emotions and He controlled them.
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One of the things that I hate, I hate Bible trivia.
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Can't stand it, can't stand it. I don't like Bible trivia.
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If you ever get on Bible trivia, I'll tell you
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one of the questions is going to be
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what's the shortest verse in the Bible?
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You say, "It's 'Jesus wept.'" Two words. Yeah, He wept.
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Jesus had the emotions. He wept.
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He went to a friend's house who was dead, and He wept.
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The Bible says that Jesus was distressed.
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It says in the Book of Isaiah, prophesies about Him
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that he was a man of sorrows.
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Two different times we see intensive anger with Jesus.
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He comes into the temple
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and there are money changers who have these tables.
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And as people bring their foreign currency in,
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they trade it for the temple's currency so they can make an offering.
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No problem there, except they're doing it to make a profit.
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Jesus sees this house of prayer being turned into a profit center
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and He overturns the tables.
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He takes off the sash from around His waist.
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He starts swinging it around like a like a mad man.
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But He was in control. He knew what He was doing.
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I have three kids.
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Every birth of my children was incredibly emotional for me
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because I am adopted.
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When I saw my kids, I saw the first person who shared my DNA.
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I would get emotional.
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I get emotional still when my wife does things that I don't like,
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when I do things that she doesn't like.
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We can make the choice: Do I get emotional
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and do I just lash out?
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Or maybe I do get emotional, but I control my emotions
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and I try to harness them.
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I try to let her see my intensity and my concern
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instead of just brushing it under the rug.
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I can have my emotions explode our marriage
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or I can have my emotions be funneled to drive some things.
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This is what I'm saying friends, here's the thing.
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When I see person after person who's tanking their life,
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who thinks that it's not possible
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that I feel it, therefore I am
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or as Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am."
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I think he put the Descarte before de horse,
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because I think you are first before you think.
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But we think that if I'm feeling it's, the it's truth
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No, you're -- I'm feeling it and it's emotion.
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I now have to figure out how will I allow that emotion to come out
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and how will I allow to drive my life?
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You do that, friends, and you control your mind,
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you start controlling your emotions,
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you're going to start controlling your life,
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and you're going to go someplace that other normal people
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will not go under the direction of God.
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Well, we're gonna take a little time out here.
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We're going to get together with Amy Saxby.
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She's a teacher, a parent of four, a wife, and an author.
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And she's got a pretty fascinating term, I find.
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She talks about capturing every feeling.
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Amy, how are you? Tell us about capturing our feelings.
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- A lot of times when I process, I have to do it on paper
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because there's something about writing it down makes it real.
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And so when I write down how I'm feeling,
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I think I often can identify what is real behind my feeling
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and what is a worldly expect --
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like an expectation the world puts on me?
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Once I can separate those things, I think I can take the next step.
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I have to stop acting on my feelings if they're not real.
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- So what would happen if we've got an emotion
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that we're choosing not to examine?
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- I think it can get the best of us
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and it can become a stronghold.
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So let me give a very tangible example.
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Vanity, right? If I have an emotion that I,
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"Gosh, I'm just never going to look that good
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or I'm just never going to be able to exercise that way."
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If I don't examine it and get to the bottom of
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why do I feel this way really?
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Then I'm going to go that day and I'm in the workout for two hours
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and worry about what I'm eating.
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And those things are going to become the focus of my day
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and my activities vs. getting to the bottom of that emotion
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and letting go of it.
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I think after I go through this process
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and I really take time to sift through and figure out what's real,
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I can appreciate the emotions God has given me.
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I just think it's important to always remember that
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in emotion there's beauty and there's peace
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when you identify what's from Him.
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- Hey, Amy, thanks so much for being with us.
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You've been real blessing and I appreciate it.
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- Thanks, Brian.
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- So the last time I did this, used straight gasoline.
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I tell you what, I've been lighting fires for decades, decades.
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Everyone's always going, "Oh, don't light it with gasoline."
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I never had any problem.
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Well, then again, I never use four gallons of gasoline before.
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I won't be doing that again.
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- Yeah. He's not kidding.
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This is actually the second time this brush pile was set on fire.
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Want to see what happened the first time?
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- This is great.
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- If you're ever doing this, boys and girls,
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but you should not do this, boys and girls.
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If you ever do something like this when you're older
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and mature in your 50s, want to use diesel fuel.
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December 1993 I had a house fire.
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I woke up, took the kids next door,
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and watched my house being engulfed in flame from room to room.
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I slept at my in-laws that night
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and I woke up in the morning utterly devastated,
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feeling every emotion I could possibly imagine.
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And it only got worse from there.
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I had to go back over the charred remains of my house
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and see what was left.
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And what was left was my dog, who woke us up,
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dead from smoke inhalation inside of the remains.
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I still remember pulling him outside and burying him.
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I can still taste the salt in the tears
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as they came down my cheeks and hit my mouth.
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I can still remember not being able to focus and see
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as I furiously tried to dig a grave and place him in it.
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I knew then that my emotions were raging
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and it wasn't a bad thing for them to be raging,
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but I still wanted to take them captive
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and get ready to build a new life.
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Your emotions are like kids in a car.
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You can't have them drive,
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but you don't want them in the trunk either.
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I'll tell you something, man.
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Emotions will define your future.
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We see this with person after person in the Bible.
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The first king of Israel, his name was Saul,
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his emotions ruled him. If he felt it, he did it.
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And it caused him to be disqualified from being a king.
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The second guy in line, David, was being chased around
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by this guy who ruled with his emotions
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and he just waited until it was his time.
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He got his emotions in control.
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He didn't even kill him when he could have killed him.
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And as a result, he becomes a king and a great king.
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But even as a great king,
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David allowed his emotions to get the best of him sometimes.
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It caused him to have an adulterous affair.
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Friends, I'm telling you what, there is a fire
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that wants to rage and ravage your life.
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As a pastor I've interacted with hundreds,
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thousands of people who have burnt lives, charred to the bone.
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When we don't control our emotions,
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we have kids and we shouldn't be having kids.
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We make bad marriage choices.
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We get ourselves in massive credit card debt.
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We have bankruptcy.
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We have torched friendships. We have divorces.
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We have the wrong profession that we've chosen.
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Thing after thing after thing.
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And one of the things to look at
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to know whether or not your emotions are ruling you are:
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do you think that your emotion is the lead indicator
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for the very words of God?
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Emotions are not a word of God.
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I know many people who think, "I'm feeling it, God must be speaking."
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No, He's not. You're just getting emotional.
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I know some people who they're not feeling any emotions at all
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and they think, "Well, God doesn't talk to me."
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No, you just don't have emotions right now.
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Our emotions could be, but they are not necessarily,
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the voice of God.
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How do you know when your emotions are getting the best of you?
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As soon as you instinctually do whatever you're feeling,
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you may not be hearing from God.
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As soon as you can look back and you see a history
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of you doing something emotionally and you finding out later
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that that was not the best thing for your life
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and other people's lives,
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you know that your emotions have the best of you.
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As soon as your joy indicators, how you feel about
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how well your life is going is based on purely how you feel,
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you know you're putting way too much stock in your emotions.
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And as soon as you start disqualifying your emotions,
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as soon as you start trying to tamp it down,
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"I don't -- I don't want to cry."
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As soon as you start doing that, you know
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you're not valuing the gift of emotions that God has given you.
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Your emotions aren't God, but your emotions are good
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and you've got to control it.
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This thing wants to rage and take over your life.
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You've got to control the fire instead of allowing the fire
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and the heat to incinerate your life.
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God wants your entire life.
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He doesn't want your emotions to have your entire life.
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He wants your emotions to be healthy and to be in check.
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You do that, you learn how to harness this power,
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you're going to have a full life like you can't imagine.
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- I hope you're enjoying the episode so far.
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If you would like someone to pray with you
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or just talk with you about things that are going on in your life,
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we'd love to talk with you.
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You can go to Crossroads.net and you can chat
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with a real life person who will pray with you
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and offer encouragement.
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And if this message of hope and promise is impacting you,
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then consider partnering with us financially
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to make this available to more of our friends and neighbors.
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Crossroads is a tithing church.
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That means we freely give 10% of all the God blesses us with
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to further the work of the church
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and to further the work of reaching people.
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So if giving is a spiritual discipline in your life,
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go to Crossroads.net/give.
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Now, let's take a look at a story
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from someone in our church who's having an impact.
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- Sew Masks for Cincy started from our small group.
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I called one of our friends that is a nurse at a local hospital.
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I said, "I can get a couple of people to get together
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to sew a couple of masks. What do you think?"
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And she said, "It would be amazing if you could get
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a couple people to sew some masks."
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The gravity of what is going on with Sew Masks for Cincy
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and Sew Masks for Humanity really hit me last night,
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to be honest, because I never expected to be leading a group like this.
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Like I thought it would be a dozen moms and sewers sewing these masks.
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And the fact that it's turned into more of a movement
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and getting contacts from now from cities all over America
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and the world has been nothing short of astounding.
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Look at all these people that came together out of love
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and out of community because we want to protect
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someone else's son or daughter or mother.
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It's been -- it's been absolutely life changing.
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- The key to controlling your mind and your emotions
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is what the Bible calls taking every thought captive.
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I want to teach you how to do that right now.
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So when we have an emotion that comes out,
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it's because we're feeling something.
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It's coming into our brain.
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It's causing us to have an emotional reaction.
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What we do is I grab it. I grab it.
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I take that thought captive.
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I say "Why am I feeling this way?"
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I grab it and I pull it away and I look at it
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and I say, "Why am I feeling this way?
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Am I feeling the way that I want to feel?
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What is this stimuli that's causing this reaction?
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Do I like this reaction or do I want to manage this reaction?"
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How do you actually do that?
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How do you take thoughts captive and control your thoughts
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instead of them controlling you and then controlling your emotions?
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One thing you do is you monitor what's coming into your mind
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that's giving you thoughts and emotions to begin with.
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You monitor your news feed.
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You monitor your social media feeds.
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You monitor who it is that's giving you information,
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because if someone is always firing us up, pun intended,
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if someone is always firing us up, we have to say, "Hold on.
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Do I want to constantly be fired up?
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Do I want to constantly feel indignation towards other people?
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Do I want to constantly be on edge?"
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I don't like that, I have to change my stimuli. Change it.
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The second thing you do is you choose
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to think about something other than yourself.
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Some of the most depressed people you'll ever know
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are those who think about themselves.
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If you want to be more depressed, think about yourself.
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I'm not talking about a kind of clinical depression
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where you need medication.
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I'm just saying, "I'm down. Woe is me."
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The more we think about ourselves and about our situation,
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the more our emotions are going to feed with on it.
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It's going to be a fire.
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It's like as we think about ourself,
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we keep putting more wood on the fire.
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We put more emotion that keeps bubbling us up.
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I have a friend of mine, a pastor friend in another country.
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His son got hit by a car.
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The doctor said, "We're going to operate,
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but it looks like your son's going to have permanent brain damage."
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As they sat in that hospital room,
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as any parent would, being devastated.
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As they felt themselves getting lower and lower and lower,
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they said each other, "Hey, we need to stop
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thinking about ourselves for a moment.
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We need to go around in this hospital
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and see other people who are hurting and pray for them."
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So that's what they did.
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What do you know?
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Was that the reason or was there some other reason,
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but their child is 100% fine today.
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And you can see the scar that comes all the way around him.
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00:18:09
You control what you think about
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00:18:11
and you can think about something else other than your problems.
-
00:18:14
Some of the problems that we have
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00:18:16
are problems that may never come true.
-
00:18:18
And if we give our emotions over to them,
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00:18:21
we're putting fuel on a fire that's never gonna cook any meat.
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00:18:25
Don't prepay interest on a debt you may likely never have.
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00:18:29
Jesus doesn't want my emotions getting out of control.
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00:18:33
And right now, I can choose that
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00:18:35
my emotions are not going to get out of control.
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00:18:40
The third thing we do is we pray.
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00:18:43
We invite God into it.
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00:18:44
If I'm just staying with my own mental resources,
-
00:18:47
my own spiritual power, I'm going to get more and more stressed
-
00:18:51
because I don't have the power to overcome my problems.
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00:18:55
There's a power that's outside of me,
-
00:18:58
a power that can come inside of me
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00:19:00
when God fills me with his Holy Spirit,
-
00:19:02
that gives me something that I couldn't have.
-
00:19:04
So what I do is I pray about that.
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00:19:06
I say, "God, I'm feeling this way.
-
00:19:09
How do you feel about that, God?
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00:19:11
God, I am stressed. I am hurting.
-
00:19:14
Would you please comfort me?"
-
00:19:16
There's entire Psalms, in fact,
-
00:19:18
there's a whole book in the Bible called Lamentations,
-
00:19:20
where people are just allowing their emotions to be processed
-
00:19:24
and they're saying how they feel to God.
-
00:19:26
It's OK. You can tell God that you are afraid.
-
00:19:30
You can tell God that you're stressed.
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00:19:32
You can tell God that things are not going well.
-
00:19:34
Tell Him. Talk to Him about that. Be silent before Him.
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00:19:39
You might just find that He comforts you.
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00:19:42
He gives you, as the Bible says, a peace that passes all understanding.
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00:19:49
I want to make sure you hear me really clearly.
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00:19:51
Emotions are really good. Emotions are great.
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00:19:53
They make us feel alive.
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00:19:55
They they bring spice to our life.
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00:19:57
It's just that we have to channel them.
-
00:20:00
We have to take control of them.
-
00:20:01
And you can take control of them.
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00:20:02
So many times there's things in the physical world
-
00:20:05
that represent the spiritual world.
-
00:20:07
Right here I have a fire that represents emotions.
-
00:20:11
And I've been managing this fire.
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00:20:14
I've been controlling this fire to do something really good.
-
00:20:17
I placed my wood in the right place.
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00:20:19
I want to get a little going a little bit more.
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00:20:28
What I'm doing here is I'm taking the energy
-
00:20:31
that I am controlling, that I am bringing around
-
00:20:34
to do something really, really good.
-
00:20:37
Like what would that be good?
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00:20:40
That would be a venison backstrap, that's what that would be.
-
00:20:45
That would be a backstrap that I have prepared
-
00:20:49
to have an amazing meal.
-
00:20:52
Had I had no fire, were I not controlling this fire,
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00:21:01
I would not be able to eat.
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00:21:04
I've got to get all that -- got to get all that goo out of there.
-
00:21:09
That's what my dad used to call it, all the goo.
-
00:21:12
Get that goo out of there. Yeah, right there.
-
00:21:20
See how I just controlled that?
-
00:21:23
Now, because I have been taking this energy
-
00:21:28
and I've been controlling it, I'm going to have great meal.
-
00:21:34
And had I not had this energy, I would have an awful meal.
-
00:21:36
You need the energy of emotions in your life.
-
00:21:39
If you don't have the energy of emotional life,
-
00:21:40
you're not going to have good meals, but you have to control it
-
00:21:43
because you don't want to burn your life.
-
00:21:46
You don't want to crush your life.
-
00:21:48
You can control your life. You can control your mind.
-
00:21:51
You can control your emotions.
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00:21:54
Your emotions are a blessing from God.
-
00:21:56
Use your emotions, don't let them use you.
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00:22:06
That's good.
-
00:22:08
I have the emotional happiness right now.
-
00:22:11
I get to have this because I controlled that fire.
-
00:22:21
God is able to overcome our emotions.
-
00:22:24
He cares about our feelings
-
00:22:25
and He can turn them into something to be used for good.
-
00:22:29
We're going to sing a song that helps me remember
-
00:22:31
that God is an overcomer and He can handle all my thoughts
-
00:22:35
and feelings even when they seem overwhelming.
-
00:22:39
And while we see thoughts from real people in our community,
-
00:22:43
this is a moment to turn over our feelings and emotions to our God.
-
00:23:02
When I’m overwhelmed and shadowed with doubt
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00:23:08
You make a way
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00:23:15
In my brokenness where
peace can’t be found
-
00:23:20
You make a way
-
00:23:29
You lift my head up
-
00:23:35
You heal my soul
-
00:23:42
I’m made new because of You
-
00:23:48
Because of what You’ve done
-
00:23:53
You’re the God who overcomes
-
00:23:57
Painting grace upon
my canvas of fears
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00:24:02
You make a way
-
00:24:10
Draw me closer so
you’re all that I hear
-
00:24:15
You make a way, make a way
-
00:24:24
You lift my head up
-
00:24:29
You heal my soul
-
00:24:37
I’m made new because of You
-
00:24:43
Because of what You’ve done
-
00:24:47
You’re the God who overcomes
-
00:24:54
You’re the God who overcomes
-
00:25:03
All my worries, all my doubts
[You're the God who overcomes]
-
00:25:10
I shake ‘em off and they’re falling down
[You're the God who overcomes]
-
00:25:17
All my fears, all my shame
[You're the God who overcomes]
-
00:25:23
I lay 'em down in Jesus’ name
[You're the God who overcomes]
-
00:25:30
All my worries, all my doubts
[You're the God who overcomes]
-
00:25:36
I shake ‘em off and they’re falling
down [You're the God who overcomes]
-
00:25:42
All my fears, all my shame
[You're the God who overcomes]
-
00:25:49
I lay 'em down in Jesus’ name
[You're the God who overcomes]
-
00:25:55
All my worries, all my doubts
[You're the God who overcomes]
-
00:26:02
I shake ‘em off and they’re falling
down [You're the God who overcomes]
-
00:26:08
All my fears, all my shame
[You're the God who overcomes]
-
00:26:15
I lay 'em down in Jesus’ name
[You're the God who overcomes]
-
00:26:28
You lift my head up
-
00:26:33
You heal my soul
-
00:26:41
I’m made new because of You
-
00:26:46
Because of what You’ve done
You’re the God who overcomes
-
00:26:54
You lift my head up
-
00:27:00
You heal my soul
-
00:27:07
I’m made new because of You
-
00:27:13
Because of what You’ve done
You’re the God who overcomes
-
00:27:23
You're the God who overcomes
-
00:27:30
You're the God who overcomes
-
00:32:12
- God, I thank you because just like we're singing
-
00:32:17
when we're alone, when we're on our own, we're not alone.
-
00:32:21
God, I ask that I'm even in the midst of our times
-
00:32:23
of gathering like this that You would send Your Spirit,
-
00:32:28
You would send the Comforter to meet us in the midst of these times.
-
00:32:34
That even right now that we would find comfort,
-
00:32:37
comfort in Your presence,
-
00:32:39
comfort in the gathering of the body right now.
-
00:32:49
Guys, it's so good worshiping with you.
-
00:32:52
I love getting to do this.
-
00:32:53
We do this actually not quite like this,
-
00:32:56
but we still gather twice a day
-
00:32:58
in the morning at 8:30 on Facebook
-
00:33:01
you can go to Crossroads Church and at 7 p.m.
-
00:33:05
So if you want to join us and thousands of other folks
-
00:33:08
who are coming together, we'd love to have. Love to have you.
-
00:33:17
- I love that we can still worship together at a time like this.
-
00:33:20
And if you want to follow Crossroads music or hear more of it,
-
00:33:23
it's available on every streaming platform:
-
00:33:25
Apple, Spotify, wherever you get your music.
-
00:33:28
Hey, if you heard something today and want some prayer
-
00:33:30
or want to talk with someone, don't forget,
-
00:33:31
you can do that at Crossroads.net.
-
00:33:34
We also want to invite you to partner with us financially
-
00:33:37
or practice the spiritual discipline of giving.
-
00:33:38
You can do that at Crossroads.net/give.
-
00:33:41
Join us next week where we're going to continue
-
00:33:43
in our Mindset series.
-
00:33:45
We're gonna be talking about the importance of community
-
00:33:47
for processing our thoughts and emotions.
-
00:33:49
We're all disconnected right now, but we're going to talk
-
00:33:51
about the power of connecting with other people.
-
00:33:54
And I promise I will not set myself on fire.