Vent To God; He Wants You To

Celebration and grief are two vital parts of the human experience. But sometimes it’s easier to share thanks with God than it is to lament with Him. Hear from Crossroads Teaching Pastor Chuck Mingo as he shares how to hear from God and receive His message when you are dealing with grief, pain, or loneliness.

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    - Hey, welcome to Crossroads
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    and thanks for joining us online today.
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    We're a church made up of normal people
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    all over the globe that meet online and in person,
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    in church buildings and homes,
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    coffee shops, bars and even prisons.
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    My name is Andy.
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    I'm the community pastor for Crossroads Anywhere,
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    and I'm going to tell you a little bit
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    about what you can expect from today.
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    In just a moment, my buddy Justin and the band
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    will do what followers of Jesus have done
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    for thousands of years, use music
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    to help connect us with God.
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    For us online, that means this is
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    more than just a Spotify playlist.
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    It's a chance to connect with
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    the Creator of the Universe wherever we are.
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    Then we're going to hear from
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    our senior pastor Brian Tome
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    about some really exciting
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    and really important things
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    coming up for our entire church.
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    Pro tip make sure you don't skip over this.
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    And then you're going to hear from
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    one of our teaching pastors, Chuck Mingo,
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    on how you can hear from God.
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    Let's start right now.
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    - Well, hey everyone, welcome to Crossroads.
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    Whether you're online or in the room,
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    we're so glad you're here. How are we doing?
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    How are we doing today?
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    Great. Hey, we're in week two of our series,
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    How to Hear from God.
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    Maybe you hear that phrase and you go,
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    "Man, I love that, like, hearing from God
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    is a thing that that happens to me daily."
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    Maybe you're on the other end of that
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    and you're like, "I don't really hear from God at all."
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    Well, I want to encourage you and all of us
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    that there's a God who wants deep connection with us.
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    It's true. He wants to be close,
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    and He wants us to know that He's close.
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    And one of the ways that we get to spend
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    some time with Him is through this thing
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    called worship and music, singing songs to Him.
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    So I want you to stand up on your feet right now
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    as we sing to and about a God who loves us
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    and sees us and is with us.
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    Come on, let's sing to Him.
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    - Hey. When you came in today, you were given a light.
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    I want you to go ahead and take that light out.
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    Don't turn it on yet, but just take it out.
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    If you didn't get a light, just grab your phone
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    and get ready to use your flashlight.
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    In a second, we're going to see a series of questions.
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    And if the answer is yes to the questions,
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    I want you to simply turn your light on.
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    If it's not, just keep your light off.
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    So let's just have a test run real quick
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    so we're all on the same page.
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    Turn your light on if you grew up eating Fruity Pebbles.
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    Okay. Nice. All right, turn your light back off.
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    Turn your light on if you wear shoes with no socks.
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    That's -- come on. I love the boldness.
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    I'm secretly thinking things about you right now.
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    You can turn your light off.
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    We're going to have some questions like that
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    show up on the screen,
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    and I want you to answer honestly.
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    There'll be some fun, funny questions.
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    There'll be some more serious questions.
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    I just want you to take a minute to opt in.
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    Just opt in to the questions.
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    Let's see what those are now.
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    - I love the honesty in this room.
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    If I had a light in my hand, I would have
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    put it up for that last one too.
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    There are moments I felt that God was distant,
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    that He wasn't close, and I'm sure
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    we've all felt that or feel that.
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    I think what's important for us to know
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    is that there's a God that we serve,
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    He's the same God that we've seen
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    throughout generations.
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    He's the same God as we've read
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    in the Old Testament, in the New and in the now.
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    He's the same God who who looked after people
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    in the past, who's still looking after,
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    looking after each and every one of us.
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    I think about the Scripture in Hebrews 13:5
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    when He says, "I'll never leave you
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    nor forsake you."
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    He means that, and He's always meant that.
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    I wish we could ask people like Moses and David
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    and Jacob if God was faithful,
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    or if they felt distant from God ever.
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    I'm sure they would say yes, and I'm sure that
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    they would say, "God was always with me."
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    I want you to think about that
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    as we continue to sing that the Lord is with you.
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    Let's sing together.
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    - If that you, if you're in need of something from God,
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    just put your hands out as we call out to Him.
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    - Now those words are true,
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    we're standing on Your faithfulness.
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    God, we're standing on every word that you've promised.
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    And maybe sometimes those words we felt have fallen short.
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    So we stand here right now, God, and say,
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    "We need You, God. We need You to show us where You are.
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    Show us what you're saying to us.
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    Show us what you're putting in front of us
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    to go after, Lord."
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    God, if there's anything, we need it more
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    in this time, it's more of You,
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    more of You, more of You, more of You.
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    Will we experience that today,
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    more of Your presence, more of Your truth,
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    more of Your faithfulness that can carry us,
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    it can help us, God. That's what we're leaning on.
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    God, You're faithful and we thank You for being faithful.
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    In Jesus's name we pray. Amen? Amen.
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    3, 2, 1. Ignition sequence start.
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    [engines firing]
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    [typing]
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    [Music: Let the New Begin by We are CHPTRS]
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    Won’t give up
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    Won’t give in
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    Take everything we have
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    and let the new begin
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    - That's one small step for man;
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    one giant leap for mankind.
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    - We're about to push for 10X,
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    10X spiritual growth in your life,
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    10x spiritual growth in our community of Crossroads,
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    and 10X in the Kingdom of God
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    for what God is asking us to do.
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    I believe this is going to be
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    the most important six weeks of my life.
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    I believe it's going to be the most important
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    six weeks for our church's life.
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    And I think, if you let it, it'll be
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    the most important six weeks for your life.
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    I think you can 10X your ability to sense God,
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    to be on His page and to have His spiritual power.
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    We're going to have a multifaceted process,
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    a bunch of different angles and experiences
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    to get you deeper with God
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    and have Him come alive in you.
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    And as we personally get revived,
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    our church is going to get revived
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    and we could impact 10X
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    what God wants us to do in the Kingdom.
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    That's what I'm asking for you.
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    That's what God's asking for us.
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    He's been pushing on us,
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    and I'm pushing on you a little bit right now,
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    just like God's been pushing on me
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    for quite some time about making this happen.
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    This is going to be great,
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    it's going to be hard,
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    and it's going to be important.
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    I'm asking you to clear your calendar for six weeks.
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    Make it a priority to get to church.
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    For six weeks try the things we're giving you as tools:
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    a guide, a prayer experience, discussions.
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    Do the thing and see how God may use it.
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    It's going to end with us being able to make
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    a financial commitment above and beyond
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    what we regularly give for three years.
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    That's just a part of it, because the whole thing
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    is about our personal spiritual growth
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    and the potency of our church.
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    This is going to change the way
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    you and I interact with God.
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    This is going to change the way
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    you and I are used by God.
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    We believe this.
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    He's called us to this.
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    Let's lean into the push
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    and let's do
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    what God's asking us to do.
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    Let's go.
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    - Let's go, let's go.
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    I like locker room Brian.
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    You guys like locker room Brian?
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    I like that. One of the reasons
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    I'm at this church is because God continues
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    to call this community to go in bold directions,
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    and we say, yes.
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    I'm excited about The Push.
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    And I want to just give you context on what this is about.
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    Brian just casted that vision.
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    This is about our church coming together
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    and pushing into what God has for us
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    over the next ten years.
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    We want a 10X our Kingdom impact.
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    We want 10X of what God would do through Crossroads
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    first and foremost, through you personally.
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    This is about personal revival.
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    This is about you personally going
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    to a new place with God, and also
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    what God would do in our community.
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    It's really about us going to a new place.
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    And as you think about what is a push,
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    I want you to think about it this way.
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    It is a spiritual journey
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    that ends with a financial commitment.
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    That's what The Push is.
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    And so thinking about analogies, if you've been around Crossroads
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    and you've done these things called Journeys,
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    you know what that's like when all of us
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    get sweet guides or whatever it is
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    we're doing in the app, everybody gets in a group
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    and we're all kind of focused in the same direction.
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    We've done some of these
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    and they've been incredibly powerful.
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    How many people were here for the Free Journey?
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    People remember that?
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    The Free Journey was all around
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    being free from false identities.
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    We also did a Journey called Grow.
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    We did one on Play & Purpose.
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    We did one that was really impactful
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    in my life called Brave.
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    And every time we've done these Journeys,
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    yeah, people remember that one.
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    Every time we've done these Journeys,
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    God has done something in our lives as a community.
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    It's also, The Push is also partially
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    like a financial campaign.
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    Crossroads has done four financial campaigns.
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    My wife, Maria, and I have been a part of three of them.
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    And every time it has pushed our church into new territory.
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    Honestly, everyone here, if you're sitting in a seat,
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    if you're watching online, a big reason is
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    because people sacrificially gave so that
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    you could have a place to connect with God.
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    This is something that God does
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    over and over again in our community,
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    and He's doing it again.
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    Let me just say this.
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    I know that you might be freaking out
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    about the money thing.
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    Don't freak out about money.
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    Seriously, just give yourself the gift
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    of going on the Journey.
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    In fact, if you want to know
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    what we're running after, we're doing these things
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    called mission briefings.
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    It's an opportunity to understand more about
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    the territories that God is asking us
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    to expand for His Kingdom.
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    So be on the lookout for those
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    and take an opportunity to be connected to one of those.
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    There will be some happening in person.
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    There's also going to be some that are happening online.
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    But here's what I want you to know.
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    The most important weekend
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    in the history of Crossroads is happening
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    in just a couple of weeks.
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    And there's two things happening.
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    First and foremost, on Thursday, October 10tha
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    and then on Sunday, October 13th,
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    we are kicking off the 10X Push.
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    And so every service we're going to
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    be giving out these guides.
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    We got some special things planned.
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    You will not want to miss it.
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    That same weekend, Friday and Saturday,
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    because this is about us all
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    personally experiencing revival,
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    personally experiencing God, impacting our lives,
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    impacting our families,
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    impacting our relationships, impacting our kids.
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    We at Base Camp are throwing an old school tent revival.
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    Anybody experienced a tent revival before?
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    I grew up in a church where we used to
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    do those kinds of things, and I'm telling you,
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    I have seen God show up in some powerful ways.
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    We are opening it up and saying,
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    "God, we want what You want for us."
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    And I'm just encouraging you, if you can be
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    at all of that that's happening that weekend,
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    don't miss it.
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    God has something good for us as a church.
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    He has something good for us as a community,
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    and I want you to be a part of it.
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    So you can go to Crossroads.net
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    and get all the details, all the dates,
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    all the times, so that you can be a part
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    of this special, special thing
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    that God is doing in our church.
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    Well, if you were here last week,
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    we kicked off a series, a conversation
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    that we're having about how to hear from God.
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    I would love to hear from God more than I do.
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    Anybody else love to hear from God?
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    If God's got something to say to me,
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    I want to hear it.
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    I think if you're here
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    or if you're watching online, that's why you're here.
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    And maybe we think about this
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    hearing from God thing in the good times,
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    how God will speak good things to us.
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    But I love the Olympics, and one of the things
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    that I've been thinking about a lot
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    is while we focus on the glory of the Olympics,
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    rightfully so, there's also another side,
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    and that is the agony of defeat.
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    [music: Everybody Hurts by R.E.M.]
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    [music: Turn It Up by Esone]
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    - Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
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    Raygun will never live down that moment.
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    You know they'll be showing that
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    at every Olympics forever, right?
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    Like, that'll be in a space capsule
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    somewhere in outer space.
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    When the aliens find it, they'll be like,
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    "Everything else made sense. But what is --
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    What is that? What is that?" So.
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    But the reason I been thinking about that
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    is because you ever think about how that must feel
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    to go to the Olympics, you train
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    just like the person next to you.
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    You train just like Simone Biles.
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    You train just like the best swimmer.
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    You train just like, well, maybe Raygun didn't train,
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    but whatever she did, she did.
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    But you don't come home with the gold.
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    You come home with defeat.
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    The Olympics is this place where you have
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    celebration and you have lamentation coexisting.
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    And man, if I think about it, that's what life is like.
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    Life is this crazy combination where we have
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    these high highs, and so do the people in our lives.
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    But man, all of us also experience
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    these moments of low lows.
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    There's a verse in Romans 12:15
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    that I want to anchor us in,
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    not just this week, but next week.
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    We're kind of doing a twofer where we're going to
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    kind of tie these two ideas together.
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    Romans 12:15 says that we should:
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    So we're going to do two parter this week.
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    We're going to talk about lamentation.
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    What does it look like to weep
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    and to weep with those who weep?
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    And then next week we're going to talk about celebration.
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    And the reason for that is because both of these
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    are part of everyone's human experience.
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    Both of these are ways you can hear from God.
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    And both of these have deep roots in the people of God.
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    There are spiritual practices, ancient practices
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    that work when it comes to being honest about
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    the pain in life and when it comes
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    to celebrating with God.
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    So we're going to be leaning into that.
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    So today I've got an encouragement for you,
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    and I'm going to give you an assignment at the end.
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    And the encouragement is this.
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    I want you to get all up in your feelings with God.
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    I want you to practice getting all up in your feelings,
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    bringing all of that to God.
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    And I believe that as we do that,
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    we will experience God.
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    And in fact, I would say there are some things
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    about connection to God and hearing from God
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    you can only experience if you're willing
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    to lean in to the practice of lament.
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    Let's pray. God, I pray that You would use
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    this time to meet us in the place that we are.
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    God, I know that some people who are listening
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    right now are riding high, and maybe the idea
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    of grief or the idea of lament seems so far
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    from what they're experiencing right now.
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    But I also know that given the size of our church
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    and just the diversity of our church,
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    there's bound to be people who are listening
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    to this right now who are in a low period,
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    who are hurting, who are grieving,
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    who are wrestling with something
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    in their life that's causing pain.
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    And so, God, I believe that
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    whether we're at a high or low,
  • 00:34:30
    You want to teach us something today.
  • 00:34:31
    You want to teach us something about You
  • 00:34:33
    and will teach us something about
  • 00:34:34
    how we can hear from You.
  • 00:34:35
    And I pray that that would happen, in Jesus's name, Amen.
  • 00:34:40
    So what do I mean when I say lament?
  • 00:34:42
    Here's a simple definition.
  • 00:34:44
    Lamenting is dealing honestly with God's pain --
  • 00:34:48
    With life's pain.
  • 00:34:49
    Lamenting is dealing honestly with life's pain.
  • 00:34:53
    If I were to meet you in the atrium
  • 00:34:54
    and talk to you, see you at a restaurant
  • 00:34:56
    and I said, "Hey, how's it going?"
  • 00:34:57
    What's your typical answer to that question?
  • 00:34:59
    Hey, how are you doing? How are you doing?
  • 00:35:01
    We got some people in here that are like,
  • 00:35:02
    "Hey, I'm fine." Who are some I'm fine people?
  • 00:35:04
    We got some I'm fine people.
  • 00:35:05
    We got anybody in here that's like,
  • 00:35:07
    "I'm doing great," like no matter what,
  • 00:35:08
    they're like doing great all the time?
  • 00:35:10
    They could be bleeding out, but they'll still
  • 00:35:12
    tell you, "I'm doing great," right? You know.
  • 00:35:13
    There's some people like that, right?
  • 00:35:15
    Hopefully you are doing great.
  • 00:35:16
    You know, then you got some people that are like,
  • 00:35:18
    "Hey, I'm maintaining." We got some maintainers in here.
  • 00:35:20
    We got some people who, like, maintain.
  • 00:35:22
    Then you have people who say things
  • 00:35:23
    that I just really don't understand.
  • 00:35:25
    Have you ever heard this one?
  • 00:35:26
    I've asked some people how they're doing
  • 00:35:27
    and they say, "Man, if I was any better,
  • 00:35:29
    I'd be a twin," have you ever heard that one?
  • 00:35:31
    [laughs]
  • 00:35:32
    I think that's like a Southern or Midwestern thing.
  • 00:35:35
    I never heard that until I got to Cincinnati.
  • 00:35:37
    But like, I love it, I love it.
  • 00:35:38
    I kind of get it. I kind of get it.
  • 00:35:40
    Then you got people who say things like,
  • 00:35:42
    "Fine and dandy, like cotton candy."
  • 00:35:44
    Actually, I just made that up.
  • 00:35:45
    That's pretty stupid, so hopefully
  • 00:35:46
    you don't say that when someone asks you a question.
  • 00:35:48
    But here's the thing, you may be great,
  • 00:35:50
    you may be wonderful, but there are times,
  • 00:35:53
    honestly, don't we answer that question
  • 00:35:56
    a little bit inauthentically?
  • 00:35:58
    What would it look like to be honest
  • 00:36:01
    about that question?
  • 00:36:02
    Because here's the thing, I think one of
  • 00:36:04
    the knocks on people of God can be, "Man,
  • 00:36:08
    we're just so Pollyanna.
  • 00:36:10
    Everything's always wonderful.
  • 00:36:12
    I'm blessed and highly favored."
  • 00:36:13
    And yes, we are, and we have a lot
  • 00:36:15
    to celebrate as people of God.
  • 00:36:17
    And yet there's a part of us that can feel
  • 00:36:20
    to people disconnected from the reality of life.
  • 00:36:24
    And here's what's interesting about that
  • 00:36:26
    as you think about the way that plays out,
  • 00:36:28
    particularly in the American church.
  • 00:36:30
    There's a great book called The Prophetic Lament.
  • 00:36:33
    And in it Soong-Chan Rah, the author, says this:
  • 00:37:07
    In fact, I want to show you this by running some numbers.
  • 00:37:10
    So I want to take a look at some numbers
  • 00:37:12
    around lamentation.
  • 00:37:14
    So how many people grew up like Presbyterian, Baptist?
  • 00:37:17
    You grew up in a church,
  • 00:37:19
    they had hymnals in the pews, right?
  • 00:37:21
    You even know what a pew is, right? Yeah.
  • 00:37:23
    Well, in those hymnals, someone did the math
  • 00:37:26
    and what they found is that 80 to 85%
  • 00:37:30
    of the Baptist and Presbyterian hymnals
  • 00:37:32
    are celebratory songs.
  • 00:37:34
    And again, we have a lot to celebrate.
  • 00:37:36
    I don't know if you know this or not.
  • 00:37:37
    I believe Jesus actually died for me,
  • 00:37:40
    and He rose again, and that I have
  • 00:37:42
    a relationship with Jesus.
  • 00:37:44
    That's worth celebrating.
  • 00:37:46
    So I'm not saying we should be sad people,
  • 00:37:48
    I'm just saying 80-85% are celebratory happy hymns.
  • 00:37:52
    Only 15 to 20% of hymns in the Baptist
  • 00:37:56
    and in the Presbyterian Hymnal books
  • 00:37:58
    are about suffering and pain.
  • 00:38:01
    Just stop and think about that.
  • 00:38:03
    Stop and think about the experiences of life
  • 00:38:06
    and what that says.
  • 00:38:07
    And it's actually even worse when you think about
  • 00:38:10
    the songs that are sung at churches like Crossroads.
  • 00:38:12
    So they looked at contemporary church,
  • 00:38:14
    modern worship kind of songs that we would sing.
  • 00:38:17
    95% of them are celebratory, victory,
  • 00:38:22
    it's all going to turn out great.
  • 00:38:23
    It's awesome right now, Jesus is my best friend.
  • 00:38:27
    It's great. It's awesome. 95%.
  • 00:38:30
    Now here's the thing, there is a songbook in the Bible.
  • 00:38:34
    It's called the Book of Psalms,
  • 00:38:36
    and 50% of the Psalms are lament.
  • 00:38:43
    I'm just going to say Jesus was formed
  • 00:38:47
    by songs where 50% of them dealt with
  • 00:38:49
    the suffering and the pain of life.
  • 00:38:52
    You and I are being formed by only 5%.
  • 00:38:56
    I think there's a problem.
  • 00:38:58
    And I think I'm responsible.
  • 00:39:02
    As a pastor I'm responsible.
  • 00:39:04
    I'm giving this message because I believe
  • 00:39:06
    we run the risk of being malformed
  • 00:39:08
    if we don't talk about
  • 00:39:09
    how to face pain honestly with God.
  • 00:39:12
    In fact, I'm giving this message
  • 00:39:14
    because a friend of mine challenged me.
  • 00:39:16
    He said, "Chuck, I've heard you talk
  • 00:39:18
    and preach about a lot of things.
  • 00:39:19
    I've never heard you give a message on grief."
  • 00:39:22
    And at first I wanted to be defensive.
  • 00:39:24
    And then I was like, "You know what? You're right."
  • 00:39:26
    In all the years that I've been speaking,
  • 00:39:28
    I don't think I've ever given a message on grief.
  • 00:39:30
    And I was like, "You know what?
  • 00:39:31
    When I have an opportunity,
  • 00:39:33
    I'm going to change that," because again,
  • 00:39:35
    I just know what life is and what life brings.
  • 00:39:38
    And I think a lot of us would say, "Yeah,
  • 00:39:40
    I can use some formation on how to feel
  • 00:39:43
    pain honestly with God."
  • 00:39:45
    Because here's the thing, when we don't lament,
  • 00:39:48
    that pain goes somewhere.
  • 00:39:50
    Somebody put it really well, they said,
  • 00:39:52
    "Those who do not turn to face their pain
  • 00:39:54
    are prone to impose it." Hurt people hurt people.
  • 00:40:00
    And I would argue you either impose it
  • 00:40:04
    or sometimes even worse, you ingest it.
  • 00:40:08
    That some of the anxiety, not all;
  • 00:40:10
    some of the depression, not all;
  • 00:40:11
    some of the addiction, not all;
  • 00:40:13
    but some of it is because
  • 00:40:15
    we haven't learned how to deal with pain,
  • 00:40:18
    how to deal with it in a healthy way.
  • 00:40:20
    I mean, basically, we have to think about
  • 00:40:22
    what's the spiritual alternative here.
  • 00:40:24
    And the spiritual alternative is
  • 00:40:26
    you get all up in your feelings with God.
  • 00:40:27
    When it comes to pain, you really only have four options.
  • 00:40:30
    You can ignore it, you can complain about it,
  • 00:40:33
    you can feel it, or you can feel it with God.
  • 00:40:37
    And I want to submit to you that
  • 00:40:39
    feeling pain with God is a spiritual practice.
  • 00:40:43
    It's a lost art, but it's one I want
  • 00:40:45
    to help us reclaim today.
  • 00:40:48
    Because the Bible is full of people that we call heroes,
  • 00:40:51
    who understand that life has to include lament.
  • 00:40:56
    I'll give you some examples. Elijah.
  • 00:40:58
    Elijah is an amazing prophet in the Old Testament.
  • 00:41:00
    Right after his highest moment of victory,
  • 00:41:03
    he's won a victory for God.
  • 00:41:04
    There's been all these prophets that were false prophets.
  • 00:41:07
    They all get slaughtered.
  • 00:41:08
    Like, he's ready to clean house, and yet
  • 00:41:10
    the Queen, Jezebel, threatens his life.
  • 00:41:13
    And Elijah runs to the wilderness,
  • 00:41:15
    afraid for his life, feeling alone.
  • 00:41:17
    This is what he says in 1 Kings 19:4, he says:
  • 00:41:25
    This is God's hero saying, "God, I feel so alone.
  • 00:41:29
    I feel in so much pain.
  • 00:41:31
    I would rather you just take my life."
  • 00:41:35
    If you know the story of Job.
  • 00:41:37
    Job is a person who suffered immense pain,
  • 00:41:41
    immense pain in the Bible.
  • 00:41:43
    And Job says this honestly in Job 3:16, he says:
  • 00:41:46
    Or why was I not as a hidden stillborn child,
  • 00:41:50
    as infants who never see the light?
  • 00:41:53
    Job says, "God, if this is the life
  • 00:41:54
    that you drew up for me, why was I even born?
  • 00:41:58
    It would have been better for me not to even be born."
  • 00:42:02
    Jeremiah the prophet, by the way,
  • 00:42:04
    it kind of sucked to be a prophet.
  • 00:42:06
    I don't know if you're seeing that as a trend.
  • 00:42:08
    Like, I know some of us are like,
  • 00:42:09
    "Man, I want to be a prophet."
  • 00:42:11
    Good on you. Good on you.
  • 00:42:13
    Jeremiah was despised.
  • 00:42:15
    His message from God wasn't popular.
  • 00:42:17
    And at one point they threw him into a well to die.
  • 00:42:20
    And Jeremiah, in that place of difficulty,
  • 00:42:22
    says this in Jeremiah 20:14:
  • 00:42:30
    I'm reading these to you so you can see that
  • 00:42:33
    the heroes of our faith understood lament,
  • 00:42:36
    and were willing to be honest about
  • 00:42:38
    the painful moments with God.
  • 00:42:40
    In fact, you could say
  • 00:42:41
    Jeremiah wrote the book on on lament.
  • 00:42:44
    He literally did.
  • 00:42:45
    There's a book in the Bible called Lamentation,
  • 00:42:47
    and it's five poems that Jeremiah wrote
  • 00:42:50
    after the city where he lived
  • 00:42:52
    was utterly devastated by an enemy.
  • 00:42:54
    Can you imagine? I'm in Cincinnati.
  • 00:42:55
    I know there's people watching from other places,
  • 00:42:57
    but can you imagine what if in the last 48 hours
  • 00:43:01
    Cincinnati had been decimated?
  • 00:43:03
    Not the football team? That's a whole other story.
  • 00:43:09
    I'm talking about the city.
  • 00:43:11
    I'm saying, what if the city had
  • 00:43:12
    an army run through it?
  • 00:43:14
    And the army that ran through it
  • 00:43:15
    literally was slaughtering kids on the street.
  • 00:43:17
    There was bloodshed and we were left
  • 00:43:19
    in the rubble of the city.
  • 00:43:20
    This is the situation in which Jeremiah
  • 00:43:23
    writes the book of Lamentation,
  • 00:43:25
    a place of deep, deep pain.
  • 00:43:27
    And as I read that book, I see for us a roadmap,
  • 00:43:31
    a roadmap for how we can deal with pain
  • 00:43:34
    honestly before God.
  • 00:43:36
    Four things that I see as practices of lamentation.
  • 00:43:39
    First is you need to state your complaint.
  • 00:43:43
    State your complaint.
  • 00:43:45
    Look at what it says in Jeremiah 1:20, he says:
  • 00:43:56
    In the streets the sword bereaves.
  • 00:43:58
    There's been so much violence that even
  • 00:44:00
    the weapons of violence are sad, he's saying.
  • 00:44:05
    And then he says this in Lamentations 2:5, he says;
  • 00:44:22
    I'm so glad that words like this are in the Bible,
  • 00:44:25
    because you notice that Jeremiah in that last verse
  • 00:44:27
    is saying, "God, it's almost like You are our enemy.
  • 00:44:31
    It's almost like You have been the one
  • 00:44:33
    that wanted to bring this pain on us."
  • 00:44:35
    I love the honesty of these heroes of faith
  • 00:44:39
    because I don't think it's heretical
  • 00:44:41
    to be direct and honest with God.
  • 00:44:44
    I think God can take it.
  • 00:44:46
    And I think God desires for us
  • 00:44:48
    to be honest with Him about the things
  • 00:44:51
    that are struggling,
  • 00:44:52
    the things that are hard in our life.
  • 00:44:54
    I think it's okay for you to say, "God,
  • 00:44:57
    I committed to this marriage
  • 00:44:59
    and I kept my end of the deal,
  • 00:45:02
    but this person betrayed me.
  • 00:45:04
    What am I to do with that?"
  • 00:45:05
    I think that's the kind of honesty God wants from us.
  • 00:45:08
    I think it's okay for you to say, "God,
  • 00:45:10
    You know that we want children.
  • 00:45:12
    Why is it that we had another miscarriage?
  • 00:45:15
    God, what are we to think about
  • 00:45:16
    Your desire for us to be parents?"
  • 00:45:18
    It is okay to be honest with God.
  • 00:45:21
    It is okay to say those kind of things.
  • 00:45:23
    It is okay to state your complaint.
  • 00:45:26
    In fact, I think you have to.
  • 00:45:28
    I think you have to.
  • 00:45:29
    If I'm going to stay in relationship with God
  • 00:45:32
    in the hardest things, it can't be like it was
  • 00:45:34
    when I grew up in church.
  • 00:45:35
    When I grew up in church, there was
  • 00:45:37
    a whole set of things where they were like,
  • 00:45:38
    "Well, you can't say that in church.
  • 00:45:40
    You can't say that in church."
  • 00:45:42
    And some of the things I just said up here
  • 00:45:44
    are things that somebody would have pulled me
  • 00:45:46
    to the side and said, "You can't say that about God.
  • 00:45:48
    You can't tell God like that.
  • 00:45:49
    You can't pray like that."
  • 00:45:50
    I'm telling you you can.
  • 00:45:52
    And I'm not telling you only because I believe it,
  • 00:45:55
    I'm telling you because I see it in the scriptures.
  • 00:45:57
    I see it in the people who God loved.
  • 00:45:59
    I see it in the people who God lifts up.
  • 00:46:01
    I see the people who God comforts
  • 00:46:03
    in the midst of their pain.
  • 00:46:05
    It is okay to state your complaint.
  • 00:46:07
    Think about it this way: any good physician
  • 00:46:10
    needs to know exactly where the pain is
  • 00:46:12
    if they're going to heal it.
  • 00:46:15
    And here's the thing.
  • 00:46:16
    God knows where the pain is.
  • 00:46:19
    You stating it honestly says to God
  • 00:46:22
    you see where the pain is too.
  • 00:46:24
    And when you're willing to be that honest with God,
  • 00:46:26
    man, I just think that that is
  • 00:46:28
    a powerful experience that can help you
  • 00:46:30
    hear from God and experience an intimacy with Him
  • 00:46:32
    like you can't any other way.
  • 00:46:35
    So first, state your complaint.
  • 00:46:37
    Second, express your emotions.
  • 00:46:40
    Express your emotions.
  • 00:46:42
    Look at what it says in Lamentations 2:11,
  • 00:46:44
    Jeremiah says:
  • 00:46:49
    And this is so descriptive. He says:
  • 00:47:01
    What? It's kind of gross,
  • 00:47:03
    but it's a very honest picture of a man
  • 00:47:06
    who is expressing his emotions.
  • 00:47:09
    I have this up here because this has become
  • 00:47:12
    a really important thing in my life.
  • 00:47:16
    It's the feelings wheel.
  • 00:47:18
    And I don't know about you, but I need help
  • 00:47:21
    naming my feelings sometimes.
  • 00:47:25
    My wife, I love her, and one of the things
  • 00:47:28
    I love about her is she has had
  • 00:47:30
    a steadfast commitment.
  • 00:47:32
    And I love the analogy she uses.
  • 00:47:34
    We have two boys. We have a daughter.
  • 00:47:36
    She believes this for all our kids,
  • 00:47:37
    but specifically when we just had boys.
  • 00:47:39
    She said, "Chuck, I'm determined that my boys
  • 00:47:41
    will be able to feel and express emotion.
  • 00:47:43
    That's really important to me."
  • 00:47:45
    And she put it -- Yeah, you can you can clap for that.
  • 00:47:47
    And she has done an amazing job at that.
  • 00:47:50
    In fact, she says it this way,
  • 00:47:52
    and she got this analogy somewhere.
  • 00:47:53
    She said: most men have about eight crayons
  • 00:47:58
    in their emotion box.
  • 00:48:01
    We're happy, we're mad, or we're hungry.
  • 00:48:05
    I don't know, I mean, maybe there's more,
  • 00:48:06
    but like, that's, you know, that's --
  • 00:48:08
    And unfortunately society and again,
  • 00:48:10
    this might be gross generalizations,
  • 00:48:12
    but I do think this is true, that society
  • 00:48:14
    has conditioned men to be an eight box crayon
  • 00:48:18
    kind of feeler.
  • 00:48:19
    And my wife has said, "I want to raise boys
  • 00:48:21
    who have all 64 crayons in their box
  • 00:48:24
    and they can express them."
  • 00:48:26
    And so we are raising boys that have the ability
  • 00:48:29
    to name their emotions.
  • 00:48:30
    And let me just tell you, it's working.
  • 00:48:32
    Sometimes it's working way too well.
  • 00:48:33
    My sons say things to me where I'm just like, I --
  • 00:48:36
    Wow. I -- Okay. Wait, let me go get
  • 00:48:39
    the feelings wheel and let me catch up to you
  • 00:48:41
    in terms of how you're feeling."
  • 00:48:43
    I know I need tools like this to help me
  • 00:48:46
    to be honest about my emotions, because sadly,
  • 00:48:49
    some of us grew up in families
  • 00:48:51
    where this was suppressed.
  • 00:48:54
    And I want to just lament that.
  • 00:48:55
    I just want to say that if you grew up in
  • 00:48:57
    a family where you were limited in
  • 00:48:59
    the emotions you were allowed to express,
  • 00:49:01
    that was not God's heart for you, man or woman.
  • 00:49:05
    That was not God's heart for you,
  • 00:49:07
    and that there is something powerful about
  • 00:49:09
    us opening up to God and being able to feel with God.
  • 00:49:14
    In fact, I want to do an exercise right now
  • 00:49:15
    to help us with this.
  • 00:49:17
    So I want you to think about your last seven days.
  • 00:49:19
    This is going to be up on the screen here.
  • 00:49:21
    And I want to say right up front,
  • 00:49:23
    I'm not asking you to say this out loud.
  • 00:49:24
    So this is just a thought exercise,
  • 00:49:26
    but I want you to think about
  • 00:49:28
    the last seven days of your life.
  • 00:49:30
    And I'd like for you to identify three emotions
  • 00:49:33
    from these six that you felt this week.
  • 00:49:35
    Maybe this was a great week and you're like,
  • 00:49:37
    "Oh man. Yeah, joyful."
  • 00:49:39
    Maybe something went your way and you're like,
  • 00:49:41
    "I did. I did feel powerful."
  • 00:49:42
    Maybe for you it's like, "No, I'm scared.
  • 00:49:45
    There's some stuff in my life that's uncertain
  • 00:49:47
    and I don't know.
  • 00:49:48
    I got a diagnosis or something happened this week."
  • 00:49:50
    I want you to name three emotions that you felt.
  • 00:49:55
    And so here's the challenge.
  • 00:49:57
    We're going to expand this feeling wheel.
  • 00:50:00
    And now I want you to name three more.
  • 00:50:03
    So if you felt powerful, did you feel like,
  • 00:50:07
    "Hey, I'm faithful. I'm following through on something."
  • 00:50:10
    Did you feel important?
  • 00:50:11
    Did you feel hopeful, appreciated,
  • 00:50:13
    respected or proud?
  • 00:50:14
    I want you to go a level deeper and name
  • 00:50:17
    three more emotions that you felt this week.
  • 00:50:28
    Now, for some of us, this is easy.
  • 00:50:31
    For others of us, this is a stretch.
  • 00:50:34
    And I guess what I want to say to you is
  • 00:50:36
    I want to encourage you to stretch
  • 00:50:38
    your emotional crayon box, to think about
  • 00:50:42
    coming to God with words and feelings
  • 00:50:45
    that maybe you've never expressed to God.
  • 00:50:47
    Because I believe this.
  • 00:50:48
    I believe that any time there is rich lament,
  • 00:50:51
    it is rich in emotions.
  • 00:50:54
    So yes, you have to state your complaint.
  • 00:50:55
    Be honest for God, but then you also
  • 00:50:58
    have to express your feelings to God
  • 00:51:00
    and He wants you to express your feelings to Him.
  • 00:51:03
    The third thing is ask God for help.
  • 00:51:08
    Ask God for help.
  • 00:51:10
    Look at what it says in Lamentations 5:21,
  • 00:51:12
    Jeremiah says:
  • 00:51:20
    You know, I love the song that we sang
  • 00:51:22
    at all of our sites this weekend,
  • 00:51:24
    O God, my God, I need you.
  • 00:51:26
    O God, my God, I need you now.
  • 00:51:29
    Like, I love that because it's asking God for help.
  • 00:51:33
    It's not saying that we have the pithy answers.
  • 00:51:35
    It's not necessarily doing a rote prayer.
  • 00:51:37
    Although there's nothing with the rote prayer.
  • 00:51:39
    But there's something about just the raw,
  • 00:51:41
    honest, "Hey, God, I just need help.
  • 00:51:44
    God, I just need you now. I need help."
  • 00:51:47
    And we see Jeremiah doing this,
  • 00:51:49
    and I think it's really powerful.
  • 00:51:51
    Here's what I've learned about asking God for help.
  • 00:51:53
    I think God loves it when we are specific.
  • 00:51:57
    I think He appreciates it when we're persistent.
  • 00:52:00
    And oftentimes He answers in ways that are surprising.
  • 00:52:06
    I was thinking about that this week
  • 00:52:08
    as I think about loss and people who have left my life.
  • 00:52:12
    This is September and October
  • 00:52:14
    are interesting months for me because
  • 00:52:18
    in both of those months, not in the same year,
  • 00:52:19
    but in both of those months, I lost within a close period,
  • 00:52:22
    I lost two people that were really, really special to me.
  • 00:52:26
    One of them, and some of you may remember her,
  • 00:52:28
    her name was Kathy Beecham.
  • 00:52:30
    And Kathy Beecham was a leader around Crossroads.
  • 00:52:32
    And she was like a spiritual mother to me.
  • 00:52:35
    And Kathy's birthday was this week.
  • 00:52:39
    And so every, every time when her birthday comes,
  • 00:52:42
    it's just an opportunity for me to remember
  • 00:52:43
    what she meant to me, what she meant for my life.
  • 00:52:45
    And and it's like I miss her, I miss her.
  • 00:52:50
    And here's what's interesting.
  • 00:52:52
    I've learned this as I've gone through grief
  • 00:52:56
    that you lose the person, right?
  • 00:52:59
    You can't engage with them in the way that
  • 00:53:01
    you could when they were alive and in the flesh.
  • 00:53:03
    But you never lose the nuggets
  • 00:53:05
    and the imprint that they made on your life.
  • 00:53:08
    Does that make sense?
  • 00:53:09
    And so, like, I've not had a vision of Kathy since she died.
  • 00:53:13
    I haven't, like, engaged with the spirit since.
  • 00:53:15
    That's not what I'm saying.
  • 00:53:16
    But here's what has happened often.
  • 00:53:19
    I've been in a situation where I'm, like,
  • 00:53:22
    "Man, I really wish I could have asked Kathy about this."
  • 00:53:26
    And God will meet me in that situation,
  • 00:53:29
    and He will bring to memory
  • 00:53:31
    things that Kathy has said to me.
  • 00:53:33
    And I don't know if this happens with you,
  • 00:53:35
    but I hear Him in her voice.
  • 00:53:38
    I hear her, like, it's just like I remember her voice.
  • 00:53:40
    I remember what she sounded like.
  • 00:53:41
    Again, nothing, nothing -- This isn't a woo woo thing.
  • 00:53:44
    I'm not getting woo woo on you.
  • 00:53:45
    I'm just saying, like, this is true.
  • 00:53:47
    Another thing is coming up is
  • 00:53:49
    the anniversary of my father's passing.
  • 00:53:52
    And actually, I didn't know
  • 00:53:53
    you were going to be here, Jim.
  • 00:53:55
    But we're going to show this picture.
  • 00:53:56
    I am so thankful, Jim.
  • 00:53:57
    I think this is the best gift you ever gave me,
  • 00:53:59
    guy in the front row who took this picture is here.
  • 00:54:02
    It's the best gift you ever gave me.
  • 00:54:06
    I love this picture for so many reasons.
  • 00:54:08
    One of the reasons I love this picture is because
  • 00:54:10
    in the same way that my wife was committed
  • 00:54:13
    to raising boys that had 64 crayons in their box,
  • 00:54:18
    my dad always, always kissed me on the cheek.
  • 00:54:22
    He was determined and my dad did not have
  • 00:54:24
    that experience in his life.
  • 00:54:26
    But he was determined to raise a son who was
  • 00:54:28
    comfortable showing affection to his father,
  • 00:54:32
    and the father showing affection to his son.
  • 00:54:34
    And I do the same thing with my boys.
  • 00:54:35
    They hate it, but I'll do it anyway because
  • 00:54:37
    I just want them to know it is okay
  • 00:54:40
    for your father to kiss you on the cheek.
  • 00:54:41
    It is okay for your father to love you
  • 00:54:43
    and hug you and snuggle with you, like that is okay.
  • 00:54:46
    And so I appreciate that picture.
  • 00:54:48
    But same thing with my dad.
  • 00:54:50
    There are things that I'm experiencing now
  • 00:54:51
    as my boys get older and I'm like, "Oh man,
  • 00:54:54
    I wish I could have ran to my dad.
  • 00:54:55
    How crazy was I as a teenager?
  • 00:54:57
    This would be really helpful to know, like,
  • 00:54:58
    what were the boundaries that you needed with me?
  • 00:55:00
    And no, I can't. I haven't had a vision of my dad.
  • 00:55:03
    No, but I remember the things my dad taught me
  • 00:55:07
    and they come to mind.
  • 00:55:09
    In fact, sometimes I'm saying things
  • 00:55:11
    out of my mouth to my kids and I realize like,
  • 00:55:13
    Oh, that was, I'll tell them, like,
  • 00:55:15
    "That was Pop-Pop.
  • 00:55:16
    Pop-Pop used to say that to me all the time.
  • 00:55:18
    I don't know where I pulled that from.
  • 00:55:19
    He said that to me when I was 17 years old,
  • 00:55:21
    but it came back."
  • 00:55:22
    And the reason I'm bringing this up is because
  • 00:55:24
    when we ask God for help, I think one of the things
  • 00:55:27
    is important, it's not that
  • 00:55:29
    the situation necessarily gets fixed.
  • 00:55:32
    A loss is a loss, and it will always be a loss.
  • 00:55:34
    People who are important to us
  • 00:55:36
    will always be important to us.
  • 00:55:37
    We will always miss them.
  • 00:55:39
    But God has a way of meeting you in your loss
  • 00:55:42
    when you lament and when you ask Him for help
  • 00:55:45
    that truly is healing.
  • 00:55:48
    And I think God wants to do that more.
  • 00:55:50
    And so what I see in the life of Jeremiah is,
  • 00:55:53
    as he states his complaint honestly before God,
  • 00:55:55
    as he expresses his emotions to God,
  • 00:55:57
    and as he just asks God for help,
  • 00:55:59
    he gets the supernatural thing that only happens
  • 00:56:03
    when you're willing to face life's pain with God.
  • 00:56:07
    Jeremiah and you, even in the midst of
  • 00:56:10
    the hard things in life, can rest in trust.
  • 00:56:14
    You can rest in trust.
  • 00:56:16
    The book of Lamentations is written
  • 00:56:18
    kind of interestingly.
  • 00:56:19
    So the first and the last poems.
  • 00:56:22
    There are five of them.
  • 00:56:23
    The first and the last poems are really
  • 00:56:25
    kind of state the complaint, express the emotions.
  • 00:56:28
    The second and the fourth are more of
  • 00:56:30
    that kind of like, hey, here's what I'm wrestling with.
  • 00:56:32
    But the third chapter in the middle of the book
  • 00:56:36
    kind of stands as a gem.
  • 00:56:38
    You can think about it as a pyramid,
  • 00:56:40
    and it's all about God's faithfulness.
  • 00:56:42
    It's all about God's faithfulness.
  • 00:56:44
    I love that on this side
  • 00:56:46
    there is pain and difficulty.
  • 00:56:47
    In this side there is grief and loss.
  • 00:56:49
    But somewhere in the middle there's a deep root,
  • 00:56:51
    a deep stream that will remind us
  • 00:56:54
    that we can rest and trust.
  • 00:56:55
    Because even in the worst times of our life,
  • 00:56:57
    our God is still faithful.
  • 00:56:59
    Look at what he says in Jeremiah.
  • 00:57:01
    I mean in Lamentations 3:21-24, he says:
  • 00:57:18
    He's saying God is enough for me.
  • 00:57:24
    There is a place in the midst of grief,
  • 00:57:27
    not when you avoid grief, but when you walk through grief,
  • 00:57:30
    there is a place of resting in the trust that says,
  • 00:57:32
    "God, even though this is hard,
  • 00:57:34
    You are still faithful.
  • 00:57:36
    Even though this is difficult, I am not alone.
  • 00:57:39
    Even though this is challenging, You are with me
  • 00:57:42
    and you will strengthen me."
  • 00:57:44
    Let me tell you how this came alive this summer for me.
  • 00:57:48
    I had the opportunity to go to Montana
  • 00:57:51
    for a father/son experience with my younger son.
  • 00:57:54
    I did this with my older son a couple years back
  • 00:57:55
    and when they turned 13, just really blessed
  • 00:57:57
    to be a part of an amazing ministry,
  • 00:57:59
    New Frontier Ministries, who does
  • 00:58:01
    amazing father/son experiences.
  • 00:58:02
    And so I got to do this again with my son Samuel.
  • 00:58:05
    And part of this is really helping boys
  • 00:58:07
    understand that the way to live is a true man
  • 00:58:11
    is to live fully as a beloved Son of God.
  • 00:58:13
    And that Jesus, therefore, was the perfect man
  • 00:58:16
    because Jesus perfectly lived in the love of God,
  • 00:58:18
    and because of that, He was able to live as a full man.
  • 00:58:21
    And so we're kind of walking the boys
  • 00:58:22
    through sets of experiences and whitewater rafting
  • 00:58:24
    and doing all the things. It's super cool.
  • 00:58:26
    But I was there this year
  • 00:58:28
    and we're doing these conversations,
  • 00:58:30
    and one of the conversations was around
  • 00:58:32
    how really the way that God forms us.
  • 00:58:34
    And I don't think this is just true for men,
  • 00:58:36
    but we were talking about it in the context of men.
  • 00:58:38
    I think this is true for everybody,
  • 00:58:39
    is God forms us in the wilderness.
  • 00:58:43
    He forms us when we step out into the adventure,
  • 00:58:45
    into the unknown.
  • 00:58:46
    Think about every great story that you love.
  • 00:58:49
    I mean, isn't that the arc of every great story?
  • 00:58:51
    The hero leaves their familiar settings.
  • 00:58:52
    They step out into the unknown.
  • 00:58:54
    They face challenge after challenge
  • 00:58:55
    and difficulty after difficulty.
  • 00:58:56
    And it's through those challenges
  • 00:58:58
    and those difficulties that they are shaped
  • 00:58:59
    and formed into the hero that we know.
  • 00:59:01
    And it's the same in our lives.
  • 00:59:03
    I think that's why that story resonates
  • 00:59:04
    in so many of the films and books that we love.
  • 00:59:07
    So we're talking about this and we're talking about how.
  • 00:59:10
    So we really want to allow God to grow you,
  • 00:59:12
    you've got to be willing to step into the adventure.
  • 00:59:14
    And as the guy who's leading this is talking about it,
  • 00:59:17
    my inner, like, my heart was just, like, (grunts).
  • 00:59:21
    I was resistant. I did not want to hear this.
  • 00:59:25
    And the reason I didn't want to hear this
  • 00:59:27
    is because I feel like I've been out on the edge
  • 00:59:29
    a lot lately and I've been taking bullets
  • 00:59:32
    and it sucks.
  • 00:59:33
    I don't want to step out on an adventure.
  • 00:59:35
    I mean, literally I'm like, "God,
  • 00:59:36
    I don't want to do another risky thing, I don't."
  • 00:59:40
    And even like my tone was affected.
  • 00:59:42
    I'm just like, man, what's going on?
  • 00:59:43
    So one of the beautiful things is
  • 00:59:45
    it's a beautiful setting, like this.
  • 00:59:48
    And so I was literally walking out of the house
  • 00:59:49
    and this was -- this wasn't the exact view,
  • 00:59:51
    but it was a mountain in the distance,
  • 00:59:53
    beautiful plains, just a peaceful view.
  • 00:59:56
    And I had some time with God alone.
  • 00:59:58
    And in that time I just began to say, "God,
  • 01:00:01
    what's going on in my heart? What's going on?"
  • 01:00:06
    And I'm journaling this.
  • 01:00:08
    And as I'm journaling, it's almost like
  • 01:00:10
    God took over the pen.
  • 01:00:12
    And what began to be written felt like it was from God.
  • 01:00:16
    And God said, "The reason that it's been hard
  • 01:00:17
    for you to receive this call to adventure
  • 01:00:20
    is because this is the first time
  • 01:00:22
    you've stopped this year
  • 01:00:23
    and let yourself lament the losses."
  • 01:00:26
    And so I literally, it was almost like
  • 01:00:28
    God gave me back the pen.
  • 01:00:29
    And I remember I wrote down 12 things,
  • 01:00:30
    12 things that were hard,
  • 01:00:31
    12 disappointments this year,
  • 01:00:33
    just these things that have been so painful
  • 01:00:35
    for me to walk through.
  • 01:00:37
    And the only way I can describe how I felt
  • 01:00:40
    on the other side of that opportunity
  • 01:00:42
    to lament with God is, you know,
  • 01:00:44
    when you have a drain that's been clogged
  • 01:00:46
    with too much hair and like before you unplug it,
  • 01:00:49
    like, it's just nothing's getting through, right?
  • 01:00:52
    You know? But then when you have a chance
  • 01:00:53
    to de-clog that thing and you pull it out,
  • 01:00:55
    man, it just flows, right?
  • 01:00:58
    And that was what it was like.
  • 01:00:59
    It was like, man, everything in me
  • 01:01:00
    that was kind of like resistant,
  • 01:01:02
    not able to receive from God.
  • 01:01:04
    Oh my gosh, my heart opened up, my heart expanded.
  • 01:01:07
    And not only was I able to be a better father
  • 01:01:10
    to my son that week, but I got to be a son
  • 01:01:13
    who was loved by his Father that week.
  • 01:01:15
    It was so needed for me.
  • 01:01:18
    But the pathway to that was
  • 01:01:20
    I had to sit with God in the pain.
  • 01:01:24
    And I think that's what Jesus is inviting you to do.
  • 01:01:27
    I think that's what Jesus is inviting us to do,
  • 01:01:28
    is to be people who sit with Him in our pain.
  • 01:01:32
    Look at what Jesus says in revelation 3:20, He says:
  • 01:01:46
    The most intimate thing you could do
  • 01:01:48
    when those words were written was sit down
  • 01:01:50
    and have a one on one meal with someone.
  • 01:01:51
    It was an act of intimacy.
  • 01:01:54
    And maybe you're in here today
  • 01:01:55
    and you're living on the high, life's good,
  • 01:01:58
    things are rolling.
  • 01:01:59
    And somebody asks you how you're doing.
  • 01:02:01
    And you say, "I'm doing great."
  • 01:02:02
    It's true. It's really how you're doing it.
  • 01:02:05
    But maybe you're in here and it's not your honest answer.
  • 01:02:10
    Maybe you've experienced a loss.
  • 01:02:11
    Maybe life is just hard.
  • 01:02:14
    Maybe you're just slogging through
  • 01:02:16
    and you're like, "I want joy.
  • 01:02:18
    I don't know when I'm going to have joy again."
  • 01:02:22
    I want you to know, wherever you are,
  • 01:02:25
    Jesus is knocking at the door of your heart.
  • 01:02:28
    There's an invitation that He has for you.
  • 01:02:32
    And the invitation is if you open the door,
  • 01:02:35
    if you will sit with Me in the real pain
  • 01:02:38
    and the real difficulty, wherever you are in your life,
  • 01:02:42
    I will come and I will give you more of Myself.
  • 01:02:45
    I will give you more of My love.
  • 01:02:47
    I will give you more of M
  • 01:02:49
    y insight. I will give you more of My comfort.
  • 01:02:51
    I will give you what you need.
  • 01:02:53
    So my challenge to you this week
  • 01:02:55
    is to get all up in your feelings with God.
  • 01:03:00
    With God.
  • 01:03:01
    And so here's what we're going to do.
  • 01:03:02
    On the screen I got an exercise
  • 01:03:05
    and I'm going to invite you to do.
  • 01:03:06
    Sometime this week I'm going to ask you
  • 01:03:08
    to carve out 30 to 60 minutes
  • 01:03:11
    and actually practice this.
  • 01:03:14
    And so what that's going to look like is,
  • 01:03:15
    and I would say for this to, you know, to work,
  • 01:03:19
    I find it's best if you have a journal
  • 01:03:23
    or some paper, something to write with
  • 01:03:26
    and something where you can search the internet.
  • 01:03:29
    I'll tell you why.
  • 01:03:32
    So what you're going to do is
  • 01:03:34
    start your journal with a prayer to God
  • 01:03:36
    that is stating your complaint.
  • 01:03:38
    You're just going to say, "God, here are
  • 01:03:39
    the specific things that I'm wrestling with."
  • 01:03:41
    And I would say pick one thing.
  • 01:03:43
    Maybe it's a relationship that is broken.
  • 01:03:47
    Maybe it's a disappointment that happened recently.
  • 01:03:49
    Pick one thing and go deep with God on that one thing.
  • 01:03:53
    Maybe take five minutes, ten minutes
  • 01:03:54
    just to begin to journal. State your complaint.
  • 01:03:57
    Then next, express your emotions.
  • 01:04:00
    If you Google feelings wheel, this will come up.
  • 01:04:05
    And I want to encourage you to do that.
  • 01:04:07
    Print it out, keep it on your phone,
  • 01:04:10
    and I want you to go deeper.
  • 01:04:12
    What are the five, six emotions that are really
  • 01:04:14
    how you're feeling about that specific situation?
  • 01:04:17
    Don't hold back.
  • 01:04:19
    And then ask God for help.
  • 01:04:22
    Think about it this way.
  • 01:04:23
    If it was a conversation, and I believe
  • 01:04:24
    prayer is a conversation with God,
  • 01:04:26
    what would you -- How would you respond
  • 01:04:28
    if God said to you after you state your complaint,
  • 01:04:30
    after you express your emotions?
  • 01:04:31
    If God said, what do you want me to do for you?
  • 01:04:33
    How would you answer that question?
  • 01:04:35
    Write it down. Write it down.
  • 01:04:38
    And then I want you to take an opportunity
  • 01:04:40
    to rest in trust.
  • 01:04:42
    What does that look like?
  • 01:04:43
    Find truths in the Bible that relate
  • 01:04:45
    to the thing you're struggling with.
  • 01:04:46
    And that's where I think it's helpful if you have
  • 01:04:48
    an ability to search the internet.
  • 01:04:50
    You can do this on your Bible app.
  • 01:04:51
    Some of you know how to use the tools in your Bible
  • 01:04:53
    to find verses that are related to different subjects.
  • 01:04:55
    Or maybe you have one of those study Bibles
  • 01:04:57
    and it has a list of like, hey,
  • 01:04:58
    if you're dealing with this, look at these verses.
  • 01:05:00
    But this is what you want to do.
  • 01:05:02
    Let's say if you're dealing with disappointment,
  • 01:05:04
    I would say put in the search Bible verses on disappointment.
  • 01:05:08
    Find one of them that speaks to you.
  • 01:05:10
    Write it in your journal.
  • 01:05:13
    Maybe it's verses on handling anxiety.
  • 01:05:18
    Put that in the search.
  • 01:05:19
    Find a verse that speaks to you.
  • 01:05:21
    Write it in your journal.
  • 01:05:22
    This is a very tangible, tactile way
  • 01:05:25
    to get up in your feelings with God.
  • 01:05:28
    And then I want you to finish by just sitting in quiet,
  • 01:05:32
    just being present with God and being open
  • 01:05:35
    to what He wants to say to you.
  • 01:05:37
    This exercise is not about fixing something.
  • 01:05:41
    This exercise is about you experiencing
  • 01:05:43
    the presence of God.
  • 01:05:46
    And I think God wants to show up in a powerful way
  • 01:05:48
    if you're willing to do this.
  • 01:05:49
    So I invite you to stand wherever you are.
  • 01:05:51
    We're going to sing the song
  • 01:05:53
    at all of our sites that we started with,
  • 01:05:55
    or the song that we ended with, I should say,
  • 01:05:57
    The Same God.
  • 01:05:58
    Maybe for you, this song can be an entryway
  • 01:06:01
    into this time of lament.
  • 01:06:04
    You can go to Spotify.
  • 01:06:06
    If you look up Same God, you'll find this song.
  • 01:06:08
    Maybe you want to start that time,
  • 01:06:09
    that 30 to 60 minutes listening to this song again,
  • 01:06:12
    letting that be a place that grounds you
  • 01:06:13
    as you step into this exercise, this time with God.
  • 01:06:16
    I believe God's going to show up.
  • 01:06:17
    I believe God's going to speak to you.
  • 01:06:19
    I believe God's going to comfort you.
  • 01:06:22
    Maybe you'll experience Him in a way
  • 01:06:23
    that you never have before.
  • 01:06:26
    So, God, I pray that as we do this,
  • 01:06:27
    as we get ready to not just hear this Word,
  • 01:06:32
    but to do it this week, that we would find it to be true,
  • 01:06:38
    that you are the same God.
  • 01:06:39
    You're the same God that comforted Elijah.
  • 01:06:42
    You're the same God that comforted Job.
  • 01:06:43
    You're the same God that comforted Jeremiah.
  • 01:06:45
    You are the same God, and you will comfort us.
  • 01:06:49
    I pray this in Jesus's name. Amen. Let's sing.
  • 01:06:57
    - Let's sing this with honesty,
  • 01:06:59
    with openness to the Lord.
  • 01:08:53
    - One last scripture for you.
  • 01:08:55
    Jesus says this in Matthew 5:4, He says:
  • 01:08:58
    Blessed are those who mourn,
  • 01:09:01
    for they will be comforted.
  • 01:09:03
    Comforted by who?
  • 01:09:05
    I think there's a way in which we get comforted
  • 01:09:07
    by the community of believers.
  • 01:09:09
    I think that's true.
  • 01:09:11
    But I also think there's something more powerful,
  • 01:09:14
    maybe even more personal.
  • 01:09:16
    We get to be comforted by the presence of God Himself.
  • 01:09:19
    A.W. Tozer, a great writer and thinker, put it this way.
  • 01:09:22
    He said if we will exalt the places of pain in our life,
  • 01:09:25
    we are in the best position to encounter
  • 01:09:28
    the fragrance of the presence of God.
  • 01:09:30
    I love that. [applause]
  • 01:09:34
    And my prayer for you this week would be that
  • 01:09:36
    you would not just see God or sense God,
  • 01:09:39
    but that you would smell God,
  • 01:09:42
    that you would encounter the fragrance of God.
  • 01:09:46
    We have people who are going to be down front.
  • 01:09:48
    If there's something in your life and you're like,
  • 01:09:50
    "Hey, I love prayer right now," you can come down to the front.
  • 01:09:52
    We'll invite you to do that.
  • 01:09:54
    Otherwise, I want to bless you on your way
  • 01:09:56
    and we will see you next week
  • 01:09:58
    when we celebrate with those who celebrate.
  • 01:10:00
    Hope you can make it!
  • 01:10:03
    - Hey, thanks so much for joining us today.
  • 01:10:05
    Now, I say this all the time, basically weekly,
  • 01:10:07
    but Crossroads is a church that
  • 01:10:08
    you can belong to no matter where you live.
  • 01:10:10
    And we love that you're watching
  • 01:10:12
    and we want you to know that when you're ready,
  • 01:10:14
    you can get plugged in to a group
  • 01:10:16
    or community around here.
  • 01:10:17
    We'd love to pray with you, pray for you,
  • 01:10:19
    and to get to know you by name.
  • 01:10:21
    I actually just had a story this week
  • 01:10:23
    where there's a small group of people
  • 01:10:24
    who've been meeting together for years,
  • 01:10:26
    and once a year, once a year, they get together
  • 01:10:28
    from all over the country in one city
  • 01:10:30
    to connect as a part of Crossroads.
  • 01:10:32
    Felicia, it was awesome to get to meet
  • 01:10:34
    you and your small group this week.
  • 01:10:36
    And if you haven't done so yet,
  • 01:10:38
    we'd love to connect with you.
  • 01:10:39
    You can just text Anywhere to 301301
  • 01:10:42
    and the Crossroads team and I would love
  • 01:10:43
    to get to know you, get to reach out to you,
  • 01:10:45
    and send you a free gift to welcome you
  • 01:10:48
    as part of our Crossroads community.
  • 01:10:50
    Hey, one last thing before you go.
  • 01:10:52
    As Brian and Chuck talked about earlier,
  • 01:10:54
    we have some really exciting things coming up
  • 01:10:55
    in our church with the 10X Push
  • 01:10:57
    and The Revival at Base Camp.
  • 01:10:59
    For the 10X Push, you're going to want
  • 01:11:01
    one of these custom printed guidebooks.
  • 01:11:03
    They follow along with the teachings
  • 01:11:05
    and include personal exercises and content
  • 01:11:07
    to help you grow each week.
  • 01:11:08
    So right now, go to crossroads.net/Anywhere
  • 01:11:12
    and scan the QR code on your screen
  • 01:11:13
    to sign up for a guidebook.
  • 01:11:15
    Seriously, do it right now.
  • 01:11:16
    We have to get these in the mail
  • 01:11:18
    to you by September 27th for you to get them on time.
  • 01:11:20
    And they are totally free,
  • 01:11:22
    shipping, everything totally free.
  • 01:11:24
    So go sign up for one
  • 01:11:26
    and we'll get it sent right to you.
  • 01:11:27
    If you live near a Crossroads building,
  • 01:11:29
    you can just grab one there
  • 01:11:30
    as we get closer to starting The Push.
  • 01:11:31
    And we really hope to see you at
  • 01:11:33
    The Revival at Base Camp next month in Neville, Ohio.
  • 01:11:36
    We want to see personal revival in all of us,
  • 01:11:39
    and we're hoping and expecting for that to happen.
  • 01:11:41
    Hey, thanks for joining us.
  • 01:11:42
    We'll see you right here next week.

Process, journal or discuss the themes of this article - here's a few questions to get the ball rolling...

Welcome to the Weekend-Follow Up!

This is the group part of the Bible Challenge, so your questions are based on specific Bible passages from the weekend message. Each week, your group will discover what God might be saying to you, and how you can respond through a group discussion.”

  1. When was the last time you experienced “the agony of defeat”? The funnier the story, the better.

  2. What stood out to you most from the message?

  3. How are you doing today? Answer honestly.

  4. Name three emotions you’ve felt this week? Now name three more. What was it like to try this?

  5. When you’re in a low moment, how do you typically respond?

  6. In what area or areas of your life are you currently avoiding pain, or hiding the way you feel?

  7. Read Jeremiah 20:14.

    Have you ever related to Jeremiah? How do you process (or struggle to process) those feelings?

  8. What makes it difficult to be honest about the pain in your life?

  9. When have you experienced God’s presence in the midst of your pain? What did that look like/feel like?

  10. What is one step you can take this week to lean into the practice of lamenting?

  11. Let’s end our time praying together. You can say something like, “God, thank you for your willingness to step into our pain with us. Give us the courage to open the door. Give us the courage to trust your heart and rest in you, even in the midst of our pain. Amen.”

More from the Weekend

Bonus Questions! Check these out if you’re on a roll and want to go a little deeper.

  • Do you have a process for grieving? If so, what does it look like? If not, what could it look like?
  • What’s a specific pain you’ve been hiding or holding on to that you’d be willing to share right now? “

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(This stuff helps us figure out how many fruitcakes to make come December)

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Got it! Enjoy your discussion.


Sep 21, 2024 1 hr 11 mins 50 sec

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