Unmask Your Villain | Heroes Week 2

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Welcome to week two of The Heroes Journey:

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Your Path to Greatness.

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Just like every hero in every movie,

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every story ever must face and overcome

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a villain in order to get to greatness,

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you have to too.

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There's a villain standing in your way

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and blocking your path between you and greatness.

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Today, you're going to unmask your villain.

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By the way, if you're a giver, I want to say thank you.

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Your generosity makes episodes like this possible

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and is literally changing thousands of lives.

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Let's get started.

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- Welcome to The Heroes Journey

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where you will discover your role

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in the most important mission.

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But there are four villains

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that are trying to get in your way.

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Frankie Feelgood,

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Lieutenant Lucius Livid.

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Senator Selfie,

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Heinous Highness.

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All of these villains can sabotage

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the full, joyful life God wants for you.

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Today, hear from Brian, Kyle, Leena, and Paco

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as they work together to find the clues

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and unmask the villains that want to destroy you.

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- Man, look at this place. Oh.

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- All right. Open it up.

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There's a letter in here that says

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there are four villains that try to steal from us

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on a heroic mission.

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- Your mission, if you choose to accept it,

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will be to uncover their true identity.

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- To get out of this house and continue on your journey,

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you will need to work together to crack the code.

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- And unmask the villains.

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You are Frankie Feelgood.

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Frankie is all about immediate gratification,

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runs from pain, doesn't like to face reality,

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considers pleasure his greatest purpose?

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Hmm, tell you what, I want to be great.

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I want to do world changing,

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life changing things for God.

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God is great, so greatness is a good thing.

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The number one issue that I run into

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in trying to be great, well, spoiler alert,

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it's not the devil. He's not that busy.

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It's not even my weird neighbors.

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Oh, by the way, if you don't have any weird neighbors,

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you're probably one of the weird neighbors.

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The number one thing that stops me from being great

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is my need to feel good in the moment.

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Jim Collins says it like this, says,

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good is the enemy of great.

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I might add that feeling good is the enemy of great.

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And I think you're watching this video right now

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because somewhere deep inside of you

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you have a desire to do something with your life,

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something great.

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You might even think that God is designed you

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for great things long ago.

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And the number one thing stopping you

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is what you want right now.

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We all want a life that matters,

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we all want a life of meaning,

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we all want a full life with full relationships,

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with vibrant community around us

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and with impact and service in the world.

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Heroic type stuff, but here's the problem,

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most of our days, they start a little bit different.

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We say we want great relationships,

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but the first thing we do when we wake up

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instead of saying I love you to the people around us,

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we pick up the old phone and scroll the news feed

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for that quick anxiety rush.

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We say we want to have great energy

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to get through the day, but what happens is

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we rush out the house, we grab a donut

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or a sugary energy drink or a coffee,

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and we hit traffic on the way to work.

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We say we want to have great networking relationships

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while at our job, but what happens is

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we do our best to keep our heads down

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and not not bring enough attention to ourselves

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or not even try to talk to our coworkers,

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do our best to not cuss out the customers or our boss.

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And then it's time to come home.

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We numb a little bit more.

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We eat some junk, smoke a little, we drink a little,

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we doom scroll till we fall asleep.

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You see, this is Frankie Feelgood's modus operandi,

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that you and I would trade in what we really want

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for what we want right now.

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Frankie leaves us overstimulated and under fulfilled.

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But the good news is, you and I,

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we can kick Frankie in the teeth.

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We can beat Frankie Feelgood, and I'm going to show you how.

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- Lucius Livid.

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Right here I've got a card about Lucius Livid.

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It says is always ready for a fight,

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anyone gets in his way is an enemy,

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can't control his anger, lets his emotions run the show.

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All right. You want the truth?

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I like to sleep and not be woken up.

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I like to not be bothered,

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especially when I don't want to be.

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And I like to be listened to the very first time,

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and when I don't, when these things don't happen,

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I get angry.

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In His abundant wisdom, God chose

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to give me children, three of them in three years.

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And from the moment they arrived,

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it was abundantly clear that

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they weren't really interested in the things

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that I liked, like sleeping, not being bothered,

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and being listened to the very first time,

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especially at bedtime, when all I want for them to do

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is stay in your room.

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They don't seem to care about that so much.

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Now, just to be clear, when I put you to bed,

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I'm not suggesting one of many things

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you could do with your evening.

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This isn't a cruise ship.

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We have lots of different excursions for you

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to choose from at your leisure

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and enjoy whenever you want, you picked.

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No, when I put you to bed,

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I am giving you an explicit command.

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My word is law, and my law is unbreakable,

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unless you're a tiny human being

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with a mind all your own, in which case

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my law is about as durable as IKEA furniture.

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It breaks super easy, so there's that.

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Now the thing is, anger stands in my path to greatness,

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Lieutenant Lucius Livid.

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And he's tricky to defeat because

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there's a monster underneath the mask he's wearing,

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and that's what we have to get to.

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- You are, Senator Selfie.

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Senator Selfie? Okay,

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Senator Selfie is completely absorbed,

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can't get out of her own head,

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strives for self-made success,

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views others' successes as her failures,

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believes the grass is always greener,

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and compares herself to everyone.

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I don't know someone like that, do you?

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Okay, actually, I think I'm totally Senator Selfie.

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I am, I'm Senator Selfie.

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I just the other day was spending

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all this time scrolling through Instagram.

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And I wasn't scrolling through Instagram

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because there was something good to look at.

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I was looking at my own stuff.

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I was going back and saying, "How did I look in that?

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What am I hair look like? Did I look fat?

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Was that a better picture than her picture?

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What about this? What about --"

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I was comparing myself to every one. Gross.

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Okay, then I'm sitting in a meeting this morning

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and we're talking about something.

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I'm in a room with completely capable,

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smart, wonderful people.

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And yet I'm thinking as we're hearing new ideas

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and a plan we're going to go after

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that I didn't have any say into.

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I'm thinking, "Well, why didn't we?

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Well, couldn't we have, shouldn't we?

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Did they think about this?

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Don't they know that if we just did this,

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it would be so much better?"

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I actually have those thoughts all the time,

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which I'm really not proud of.

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And honestly, I think I deal with Senator Selfie

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more than anybody else because

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I often think that I'm the greatest.

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Spoiler alert, I'm not the greatest,

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and you're not the greatest either.

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Jesus is the greatest.

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- You are Heinous Highness.

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Heinous Highness is manipulative,

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absolutely loves drama, wants to win at all costs,

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tells people what they want to hear

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and will do whatever it takes to be in control.

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In other words, sounds like Heinous Highness

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is an average American.

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One of our great football coaches in America,

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Vince Lombardi, he said, "Show me a good loser

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and I'll show you a loser."

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We love to win at all times.

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We want to be on the top at all times.

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If we're not on top, we want to feel like we're on top.

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We basically want to be king and we want to be queen.

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We will find our own data

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to reinforce whatever we believe.

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We'll find our own voice boxes or our own preachers

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or self-help gurus to tell us what we need to hear,

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what we're about all because we want to be on top.

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We want to feel like we're a king or queen

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above everybody else.

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I struggle with this.

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I understand this tension completely.

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I lead an organization that exists with

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a lot of people who are paid and unpaid.

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And often times I'll be in a meeting

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and I'll feel that I want my way to win.

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I shouldn't want my way to win.

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I should want the best way to win.

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I'll feel like I want to tap into

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my communication skills when I'm in a meeting at work

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or when I'm with my wife to win the argument,

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to be the high one, to be the mighty one.

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The problem is this is not very heroic.

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And if my journey is to put crowns in my head,

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I won't be a hero at all. I'll be a sham.

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No one would want to be around me

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and I will not get closer to God

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and feel His pleasure in my life.

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We have got to take off our crowns

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to be on a rogue journey

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and slay the Heinous Highness that's in all of us.

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- Frankie is beatable, and how do we beat him?

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Well, I'm going to give you some tips on how I do it.

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First thing I've got to do is I got to find a plan.

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Zig Ziglar says that if you aim for nothing,

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you will hit it every single time.

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And here's a pro tip on plans:

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If your plan has the word more or less in it,

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it's a bad plan.

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I want to work out more.

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More than who, The Rock?

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I want to drink. Less than who, Gary Busey?

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You've got to be specific in what you want,

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get as detailed in his laser focused in

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on what you really want.

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Second thing I do as I find some help,

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people like Alex and Jonas and Xavier and Adam.

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These are guys that cheer me on

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and they hold me accountable

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when I'm deviating off the course that I've set

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or the course that God is set for me.

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They're cheering me on.

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You might be watching this and being like,

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"Man, I wish I had somebody to have my back like that.

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I wish I had somebody who could help me like that."

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Well, good news, we're here for you.

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The great news is people throughout all generations

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who have walked this path that God has set out for them,

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this path towards greatness, they're also cheering us on.

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In Hebrews 12:1, the writer talks about

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a great cloud of witnesses.

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The most important step in beating Frankie Feelgood?

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You've got to find a mirror. You see, mirrors don't lie.

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If you look in the mirror,

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the Mirror is going to tell you the truth.

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And I know when some of us look into a mirror,

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we don't like what we see.

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Maybe there's some shame or some guilt or some regret.

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I'm not talking about just physically.

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I'm talking about more of the deeper things

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like I don't like the way I'm treating people

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or I don't like a person I'm becoming.

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But we've got to do the hard work

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of looking in the mirror

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if we're really going to defeat Frankie.

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And we've got to ask the hard questions,

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so let's look in the mirror together right now.

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Why are you so broke?

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Because you like buying stuff you don't need.

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Why are you not as healthy as you need to be?

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Because you like eating stuff that's bad for you.

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Why can't you kick that addiction?

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Oh, because you like the temporary pleasure

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in the moment.

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Why are your relationships always crumbling around you?

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Because you make every relationship about you.

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Why is it so easy for us to blame our problems

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on the devil and on liberals?

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Because it feels so good to place blame somewhere else.

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The thing about looking in the mirror,

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it might make us feel weak in the moment,

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but let me tell you something, where your weaknesses start,

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that's where God's strength can show up.

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Where I'm weak, He can be made strong.

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And when I look into the mirror, I can look at myself,

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or I can see that the very presence of God,

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Jesus Himself is closer to me than I can even imagine.

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God doesn't run away when we sees our weaknesses.

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God doesn't jump ship when things go wrong with us.

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In fact, He's right there with us.

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Hebrews 12:2 says this:

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God is going to do heroic things in our lifetime,

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and He's going to use people to make it happen.

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Question is, is He going to use you,

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or are you going to sell yourself short

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for what you want right now?

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You can do great things in your life,

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and God is going to use you and you can beat Frankie,

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but you've got to follow in the footsteps of Jesus.

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- You know, the Avengers movie

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where mild mannered Bruce Banner gets agitated

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and turns into this like raging monster called the Hulk?

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That's what happens to me at bedtime

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if you don't stay in your room.

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Now it happens for a reason.

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It's not because I'm angry.

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See, anger is just the symptom above the surface.

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But if you want to get past anger

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on your path to greatness, you have to deal with

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what's below the surface, the real monster.

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You have to unmask Lieutenant Lucius Livid.

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And when you do,

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what you'll find standing there is fear.

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Underneath every angry outburst lies fear.

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Something you love, something that's precious to you,

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something you depend on is being threatened

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and it manifests outward as anger.

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For me, there's one reason I get mad at bedtime.

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It's because I carry a lot of weight

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and responsibility in my life,

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probably more than I should with my family,

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at work with dozens of employees who depend on me,

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with a community of thousands of people

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who I'm tasked with pastoring.

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And most days, if I'm honest, it feels like

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I can barely keep up.

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I have just a tiny bit of energy left

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at the end of the day, that's it.

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I'm afraid if I don't get rest,

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you don't stay in your room, if I don't sleep,

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tomorrow's going to be the day

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I don't have what it takes.

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The reason I'm angry is because

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I'm afraid I'm not enough.

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If you're somebody who struggles with anger,

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the question you need to ask yourself is:

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What is it that I'm afraid of?

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What is it that I hold dear that's being threatened

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and I'm afraid of losing?

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If you can get to that, you can deal with anger

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because all anger sits on top of fear.

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And the Bible has explicit instructions

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about how you deal with the fear.

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It's not just try not to be afraid.

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Just like the way you defeat anger is not

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just try to be more patient. Just try to be more kind.

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That will never, ever work.

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The way you defeat the fear under your anger

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has one solution, it's love.

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1 John 4:18 says:

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There is no fear and love,

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but perfect love casts out fear.

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The antidote to the fear that's driving your anger

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is love, perfect love.

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You know, the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13

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that love is patient and kind.

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If you lack patience, if you lack kindness

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in your immediate, instinctual responses,

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it's because you lack love.

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And here's what I want you to understand,

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the solution is not now just try to love people.

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No. You can't give what you don't have.

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The solution is for you to receive love,

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for you to be filled up.

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And there's one way that that happens.

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Earlier in the book of 1 John Chapter 4:16, it says:

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and we have known and believed

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the love that God has for us.

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Listen, if you're angry,

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the thing you're missing is love.

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And the only way to get it is to work on knowing

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and believing the love that God has for you,

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not people in general, not your family,

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not your next door neighbor,

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not people who do it all right, for you.

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1 John says that God is love.

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That means that God is patient.

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God is kind towards you.

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When you understand this, when you can know

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in your mind and you can believe in your heart

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that God loves you, the anger fades away.

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Why?

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Because when there's a God of the universe

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who controls everything and He loves you,

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what's there to be afraid of?

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When that happens, the anger gets snuffed right out.

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- Senator Selfie here.

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Okay, I'm not the greatest, you're not the greatest.

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Jesus is the greatest.

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But it's OK to want that sometimes.

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Jesus was hanging out with his friends one day

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and for some reason their mom was there.

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I don't know what was happening, but she actually asked,

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"How do my kids become the greatest?"

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And Jesus said, "The Son of Man,"

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referring to Himself, "didn't come to be served,

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but to serve others."

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What a roundabout way to answer that question.

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But what He was actually saying was

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the way you become the greatest is you serve others.

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If I want to defeat Senator Selfie

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and you want to defeat Senator Selfie,

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the place we have to start is by serving others.

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I often can feel like I'm the main character.

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It's about me. It's my life. It's my story.

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But because I know Jesus, I actually have to shift

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to believe that I'm a supporting character in His story,

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that He's the greatest and I get to support the greatest

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and I get to help others.

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I get to be support to others, and in doing that,

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I can become great.

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That's true for me and that's true for you.

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Our path to greatness,

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the way that we defeat our pride, Senator Selfie,

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is to spend more time focusing on others.

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There's actually a part of the Bible in Philippians

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that says exactly this.

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Philippians 2:2-3 says this:

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We become great teammates, we experience joy

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and we give joy away when we fight

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the selfishness in us, when we fight our pride

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and we choose humility instead.

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Humility doesn't mean that

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we just think less of ourselves like,

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"Oh, whoa is me. I suck. I'm crappy."

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No. Humility is just thinking of ourselves less

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and putting others ahead of ourselves,

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choosing to put others thoughts, ideas,

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perspectives, needs, and wants ahead of our own.

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You might be Senator Selfie.

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The way that you defeat Senator Selfie is you choose

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to be humble and support other people before yourself.

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- To be great, to be heroic,

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Heinous Highness must be defeated.

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And how do you defeat Heinous Highness?

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It's not by physical might, it's by spiritual power.

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It's the role of humility.

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Humility is when you lower yourself underneath somebody.

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Instead of exalting yourself

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and putting your crown on, thinking how great you are

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and telling everybody how great you are,

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you intentionally take it off, you lower yourself.

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This is what Jesus did.

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Book of Philippians Chapter 2 tells us

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that Jesus humbled Himself,

00:22:35

becoming obedient to the point of death,

00:22:38

even death on a cross.

00:22:39

He spreads out his arms on a cross and He dies for us.

00:22:44

And the crazy thing is, in the grand scheme of eternity,

00:22:47

He actually gets exalted

00:22:49

and God gives him a name above every name.

00:22:51

He defeats His own desires to be known in His lifetime

00:22:56

in order to be known by God

00:22:57

and rewarded by God forever.

00:23:01

One of the books in the Bible that talks about forever

00:23:03

is the Book of Revelation 4:10.

00:23:06

It has these people who are known as elders,

00:23:09

there's 24 of them.

00:23:10

We don't really know exactly who these people are.

00:23:13

Why is there 24 of them?

00:23:15

We don't know exactly, but we do know

00:23:17

what these people do, that they are great

00:23:20

and they are heroic.

00:23:22

And why and how?

00:23:24

Because they're humble enough

00:23:26

to take off their own crowns,

00:23:27

whatever their own personal kingdom is,

00:23:29

whatever their business is, whatever their family is,

00:23:31

whatever their successes are, they take off their crowns

00:23:33

and they cast them at the feet of Jesus.

00:23:36

That's the ultimate humility,

00:23:39

throwing your accomplishments and your view of yourself

00:23:43

as low as it will go on the ground

00:23:45

and they say worthy, worthy is the Lamb.

00:23:49

Worthy is God.

00:23:51

I'll tell you what, you come to a place of humility,

00:23:55

you put your crown on a shelf,

00:23:57

you cast your crown beneath God,

00:23:59

you are not just going to be heroic,

00:24:03

you're going to be great

00:24:05

and people are going to be thankful for you

00:24:08

in the grand scheme of your life.

00:24:22

- Kyle? - Yes. Yes!

00:24:25

- What?

00:24:27

- Hey. Hi. - What are you doing?

00:24:29

- The whole Journey, do you see it?

00:24:30

I saw The Journey: The Path to Greatness.

00:24:33

This is it.

00:24:34

I guess it didn't connect these two parts though.

00:24:36

- Kyle, we don't see it.

00:24:37

- Dude, no, it's there.

00:24:39

- How long have you been down here?

00:24:41

- I don't know, like, at least --

00:24:43

I could see the moon and it came,

00:24:44

and then it went, and then it came again.

00:24:46

So I think anyway, the point is, it's solved,

00:24:49

except for I just got to put those up.

00:24:51

You guys want to help me? - This is my guy.

00:24:52

- What do you mean it's your guy?

00:24:54

- I got -- I got this guy. This is my villain.

00:24:56

- Oh, you got one, too.

00:24:58

- This is my villian, Frankie Feelgood, man.

00:25:00

He wants us to be immediately gratified.

00:25:02

He wants us to trade in what we really want

00:25:03

for what we want right now.

00:25:04

I figured out how to unmask him.

00:25:06

I figured out how to beat him. - What'd you say?

00:25:08

- So I said the way you unmask him

00:25:09

is you follow Jesus's footsteps.

00:25:12

- That's -- yes, that's great. Write that down.

00:25:15

So many F's in that, just like just like the F here.

00:25:18

This is so great. - Maybe that's a clue.

00:25:19

- What what do you mean? For the box?

00:25:22

- Yeah. - There's the whole time.

00:25:24

- Do we -- do you want to try to give to others?

00:25:26

- Yeah. - Know this guy with the teeth.

00:25:28

- Yes. Yeah, that was my guy.

00:25:30

That was that was Livid, Lucius L.T.

00:25:33

This guy's all about anger, right?

00:25:36

And the thing about anger is that

00:25:38

it's just the thing visible above the surface.

00:25:40

But if you unmask him, what you find underneath is fear.

00:25:43

- Hmm.

00:25:44

- And so I talked about the way to defeat fear

00:25:46

is 1 John, Who knows it?

00:25:50

- Perfect love. - Yes, perfect love.

00:25:51

That's what I said. There it is: cast out fear.

00:25:53

- Put him up there.

00:25:54

Do you want to hold my magnifying glass?

00:25:56

- I would love to.

00:25:57

- It's great. Perfect love starts with a I too.

00:25:59

Who did you have?

00:26:01

- I had Selfie. I had Senator Selfie.

00:26:05

- Senator Selfie? - Senator Selfie.

00:26:07

- How do you unmask her?

00:26:08

- Okay, so I think the way to unmask Senator Selfie

00:26:13

is to take the attention off of ourselves

00:26:18

and support others.

00:26:20

So here she is. - Here I got you.

00:26:23

- Support others, exclamation. - That's great. Love it.

00:26:31

- Well, there's one more left and,

00:26:33

by the way, where's Brian?

00:26:34

- I don't -- I thought he was with you guys.

00:26:36

- I thought he was with you down here.

00:26:38

(lullaby music)

00:26:48

- There's one more left, Heinous Highness.

00:26:51

I've got to imagine Brian is this person.

00:26:53

Heinous?

00:26:54

- Yeah, what do you think Brian said about it?

00:26:56

- You know, well, if her profile is

00:26:58

she's manipulative, loves drama,

00:26:59

wants to win at all costs, I bet you

00:27:01

there's something in there about humility.

00:27:03

- Oh, yeah. It starts with an H too.

00:27:04

- Yeah. Oh, we have a pattern.

00:27:07

- There is something happening here.

00:27:09

- We've got Freddie Feelgood, F.

00:27:11

You defeated by following Lieutenant Lucius Livid.

00:27:15

You defeat the I with love, S with support,

00:27:19

H with humility. Oh my goodness.

00:27:22

FLSH.

00:27:23

FLSH is obviously FLSH.

00:27:27

- Flesh.

00:27:28

- Flesh, that's what I meant. Flesh.

00:27:30

- Let's retry it.

00:27:31

- One, two, three, flesh.

00:27:33

- I actually meant try it on the wall,

00:27:35

but we can also just say it.

00:27:37

- I thought we were making a group cheer.

00:27:39

That's okay, if we're not at that relationship level

00:27:42

with each other, we don't have a group cheer.

00:27:44

- We've got to get out of this house,

00:27:46

sooner rather later.

00:27:47

Let's go to the lock. Go to the box.

00:27:49

(all talking at once)

00:27:51

- Try it: F-L-S-H, put it in there. See if it opens.

00:27:56

I bet there's treasure or something awesome.

00:27:58

I don't even know, maybe some --

00:28:00

Actually, I could use a snack.

00:28:01

I've been here for a long time,

00:28:02

so hopefully something edible. I don't know.

00:28:07

What is it?

00:28:10

- It's a key. - A key.

00:28:12

- A key. What do we do with it?

00:28:14

- I don't try to get out. - Let's get out of here.

00:28:16

- I'm done. We solved this thing. We could be --

00:28:18

We're leaving.

00:28:20

- Brian, see ya. - See ya.

00:28:28

- Hey, hey. Anyone out there?

00:28:32

Where are you guys? Hey.

00:28:41

- One of the villains stood out to you,

00:28:43

but the experience of unmasking them

00:28:45

and understanding them at a deeper level

00:28:47

has only just begun.

00:28:48

This week in your individual work and in your group,

00:28:51

you're going to be discovering more about the villain,

00:28:53

how it's blocked your path and how God has a path

00:28:55

and a way for you to get through that villain

00:28:58

to a life of greatness.

00:29:00

By the way, you need the Crossroads app your group.

00:29:02

Don't forget that it's free wherever you get your app.

00:29:04

It's chock full of not only The Journey experience,

00:29:06

but a lot of other really helpful resources.

00:29:08

And if you're watching this,

00:29:10

"Like what's all this Journey stuff?

00:29:12

I'm so confused, Kyle, I don't understand."

00:29:13

Don't worry, we have your back.

00:29:15

Just go to online.crossroads.net and chat with us.

00:29:18

We'd love to answer any questions, get you connected,

00:29:20

or help you with anything you need in your life.

00:29:23

Thanks for joining us today.

00:29:25

We'll see you next time for episode three.

00:29:55

- Hi, I am Stephanie Byerly.

00:29:56

- And I'm Robert Byerly,

00:29:58

and we live in Newport Beach, California.

00:30:00

I think we started going to Crossroads

00:30:02

before we moved to Cincinnati in 2003.

00:30:05

- The first Journey that we were part of

00:30:06

was the Consumed Journey.

00:30:08

That was the first time

00:30:09

that it's a really been explained to us

00:30:11

that everything we own is God's.

00:30:16

So I think that was where our story started

00:30:19

with becoming more generous and really asking God

00:30:23

to use us in a greater way

00:30:24

- The different campaigns,

00:30:26

The Game Change, it changed us.

00:30:28

One, I think the accountability piece of it

00:30:31

that consistently giving every week out of generosity

00:30:35

and love and then seeing the things

00:30:38

that Crossroads was doing and growing,

00:30:43

investing in people, investing in trips,

00:30:45

investing in the local community,

00:30:46

and investing in other communities around the world.

00:30:49

You feel like you were a part of a team

00:30:51

and something big.

00:30:52

Then you could see the blessings that would happen

00:30:54

in your life from that generosity too

00:30:56

and how it sort of changed your heart.

00:30:58

And then you just want to give more,

00:31:00

whether it was giving your time, your talents,

00:31:02

your finances, whatever it was.

00:31:04

- We just live in more freedom because I think

00:31:07

we know that everything we own is really God's.

00:31:12

And so I think when it comes to parenting

00:31:15

or our marriage or whatever, it looks like

00:31:16

there's a freedom there to press into

00:31:20

what God has for us.

00:31:21

It changes the way we live,

00:31:24

not just living for ourselves,

00:31:25

but serving each other and love.

00:31:27

- I believe it's God, right?

00:31:28

I mean, God's working on that

00:31:30

and a place like Crossroads, it's given a place for us

00:31:33

to learn about different things,

00:31:36

let God sort of chip away at our selfishness.

00:31:39

- Yes.

00:31:40

- Bring a place where your kids can thrive,

00:31:42

or we can thrive as husband and wife,

00:31:44

and family in that type of thing.

00:31:46

Yeah, that's been awesome.

00:31:48

- Yeah.

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