Elf | Christmas at the Movies Week 1 - Full Live Service

00:24:30

- [singing] Christmas at the movies.

00:24:33

It's perfect with some coffee.

00:24:35

Don't beat that ring a ling ding, ding, ding, talkin.

00:24:41

So, if we see the glow of a cellular telephone

00:24:47

will take them and will break them.

00:24:50

And we won't say we were mistaken.

00:24:53

You've been warned.

00:24:56

Merry Christmas. [breaking FX]

00:25:10

- Sorry, I can't ride with you the rest of the way up,

00:25:12

but this is where my dad works. Well --

00:25:14

Oh, I forgot to give you a hug.

00:25:15

- Oh, I don't know, Connie.

00:25:16

I've never declawed kittens before.

00:25:19

How many?

00:25:20

Eight?

00:25:22

I don't know if I'm going to have time.

00:25:24

Well, all right, just bring about the camp this week

00:25:26

and I'll see what I can do.

00:25:28

I'm not going to charge you.

00:25:29

Just bring them by and I'll see what I can do.

00:25:31

- Excuse me.

00:25:33

I'm here to see a Walter Hobbs. I'm Buddy the Elf.

00:25:38

- You look hilarious. Who sent you?

00:25:41

- Papa Elf.

00:25:42

- Papa Elf? - Um-hmm, from the North Pole.

00:25:45

- From the North Pole? - Yes.

00:25:46

- So, you really think we should ship 'em?

00:25:48

No. I think we should take a $30,000 bath

00:25:52

so some kid can understand what happened

00:25:54

to a puppy in a friggin pigeon. Ship 'em.

00:25:57

[phone rings] Yeah.

00:25:59

- Mr. Hobbs, it's me on the intercom.

00:26:02

- Right.

00:26:03

- Yeah. I think someone sent you a Christmas gram.

00:26:07

- Dad.

00:26:12

- All right. Let's get it over with.

00:26:15

- I walked all day and night to find you.

00:26:18

- You look like you came from the North Pole.

00:26:21

- That's exactly where I came from.

00:26:23

Santa must have called you.

00:26:25

- Oh, yeah, sure.

00:26:26

I just got off the cell phone with me.

00:26:28

- You did?

00:26:29

- So, go on.

00:26:31

- Go on with what?

00:26:32

- Are you going to sing a song or something,

00:26:34

or can I just go back to work?

00:26:36

- A song?

00:26:39

Yeah. Anything for you, Dad?

00:26:45

Um, [singing] I'm here with my dad, and we never met.

00:26:51

And he wants me to sing him a song.

00:26:54

And I was adopted, but you didn't know I was born.

00:26:59

So, I'm here now.

00:27:01

I found you, Daddy.

00:27:03

And guess what? I love you. I love you. I love you.

00:27:10

- Wow. That was weird.

00:27:14

Usually guys just, you know,

00:27:16

put my name into Jingle Bells or something.

00:27:18

- It's me, your son.

00:27:19

Susan Wells had me and she didn't tell you.

00:27:22

And -- and -- but now I'm here. It's me, buddy.

00:27:25

- Susan Wells? You said Susan Wells?

00:27:28

- Yes.

00:27:31

- Who sent this Christmas gram?

00:27:32

- What's a Christmas gram? I want one.

00:27:35

- I think we should call security.

00:27:37

- Good idea.

00:27:38

- I like to whisper, too.

00:27:41

It's okay. Walter's my father.

00:27:42

- Well, your dad's busy right now.

00:27:44

- Okay. I'll come back later.

00:27:46

Yeah. No, you're not going to come back for a while.

00:27:48

Okay? You're going to go back to Santaland.

00:27:50

- Okay.

00:27:51

- Yeah. Why don't you go back to Gimbels?

00:28:08

[cheers and applause]

00:28:15

- Merry Christmas, everybody.

00:28:19

Yes. Are we ready to have fun today?

00:28:25

Our staff gets together every day, our workday,

00:28:28

all of our staff for a half hour of communal prayer,

00:28:31

mandatory every day, generally 9-9:30,

00:28:35

groups of anywhere from from 10 to 30 people

00:28:38

will be sitting praying for you, and bunch of other things.

00:28:40

And this last week, one of those prayer meetings

00:28:42

came up that there's a pastor

00:28:44

in one of the communities we serve for another church

00:28:47

that said in a sermon just last week or so,

00:28:50

he said, "Church is not supposed to be fun.

00:28:54

And if you want to be fun, then go to Crossroads."

00:28:57

[laughter and cheers]

00:29:01

I said, "That's a great idea. That's a great idea."

00:29:05

So we're going to have fun today.

00:29:06

But I think you're also going to be a little surprised

00:29:10

that there is a deeper thing

00:29:12

that's happening in the movie Elf.

00:29:15

I don't think the writers intended it.

00:29:18

I don't think the producers understood it.

00:29:20

But Elf is what it is because it taps into

00:29:24

something deep inside of us.

00:29:26

And I'm going to try to tell you about that today.

00:29:28

So, let's pray.

00:29:29

God, I'm thankful for the ability to laugh

00:29:32

and to have fun and for the ability

00:29:35

to see things we haven't seen before,

00:29:37

to maybe feel something we haven't felt before

00:29:39

and maybe even come to know You

00:29:42

in a way we haven't known You before.

00:29:44

Help me to do Your bidding today, God.

00:29:47

I want to honor You and I want to help Your people.

00:29:50

I pray these things according to the character

00:29:52

and identity of Jesus. Amen.

00:29:56

Yes, I'm going to wear this all the time I preach,

00:29:59

except for this. This is hot.

00:30:01

I'm telling you what that is -- that is incredibly hot.

00:30:04

Now, we're going to look at that at Buddy the Elf.

00:30:07

If you haven't seen the movie Elf,

00:30:09

I'm going to ruin it for you today.

00:30:11

Actually, I'm not going to ruin for you.

00:30:12

You can still watch.

00:30:13

If you've never seen it,

00:30:15

you're going to get something out of it.

00:30:16

Buddy the Elf, here's the story.

00:30:18

We have a story of an elf who's not actually an elf.

00:30:23

He was born and then his mother dies.

00:30:27

He's placed in an orphanage.

00:30:28

Santa comes to the orphanage one day.

00:30:30

Buddy, little baby Buddy gets up out of bed.

00:30:33

He crawls in the Santa's gift bag,

00:30:36

and Santa goes back to the North Pole

00:30:38

and then opens up and there is this human being.

00:30:41

And now Buddy is raised with elves as an elf.

00:30:45

And as Buddy matures, he gets to a place where he says,

00:30:48

"I want to know who my family is.

00:30:51

I want to know who my dad is."

00:30:55

And this is the arc, the trajectory

00:30:58

of this movie known as The Elf.

00:31:00

It's actually a deeply spiritual movie,

00:31:03

even though people don't think that it is,

00:31:05

even though the writers and all those folks

00:31:07

didn't understand that it was,

00:31:09

it's actually incredibly deep.

00:31:11

And I think that's why it's becoming a Christmas classic,

00:31:14

if it's not already.

00:31:15

It came out in 2003, 19 years later, here it is,

00:31:19

it's still going strong.

00:31:20

It's because, I believe, apart from the great humor,

00:31:24

there's some deep spiritual undercurrents to it.

00:31:27

It taps into this desire we have for family,

00:31:30

this desire to want family.

00:31:32

Buddy wants family.

00:31:34

And all of us here, we want family.

00:31:38

We may not have the family that's a traditional family.

00:31:41

We may have redefined the family to fit our needs.

00:31:44

We may have a nontraditional family.

00:31:46

Whatever it looks like, everybody I know

00:31:50

wants family of some form or some shape.

00:31:54

And few of us have the family that we want,

00:31:59

and that causes the complication over Christmas.

00:32:02

The good part about Christmas is

00:32:04

that enables us to spend time with our families.

00:32:08

The bad news about Christmas is

00:32:10

it enables us to spend time with our families.

00:32:14

And yet this is something that we want.

00:32:16

One poll found that three out of four Americans

00:32:20

would be willing to get rid of

00:32:21

all their holiday traditions if we could

00:32:24

only have a meaningful family experience.

00:32:28

On Yahoo! it says this:

00:32:30

Despite respondents' desire

00:32:31

to spend the holidays with friends and family,

00:32:34

62% said they haven't done so in nearly two years.

00:32:39

So, we want family.

00:32:40

We think that's about Christmas.

00:32:42

But we're not spending time with family

00:32:43

sometimes because our family is just too painful.

00:32:47

It's just too difficult.

00:32:51

The good thing -- the good thing about Christmas

00:32:53

is Christmas is supposed to bring us a bit of joy,

00:32:57

a bit of happiness.

00:32:59

There's going to be some transferable principles

00:33:01

from Buddy's live to ours.

00:33:02

One I already talked about: all of us want family,

00:33:05

all of us want family.

00:33:06

The second one is when we take a look at Buddy,

00:33:10

we see that Buddy has a desire to bring joy.

00:33:15

- He's probably just reverting to

00:33:17

a state of childlike dependency.

00:33:19

- An elf?

00:33:20

- What he needs is to be nurtured.

00:33:24

- So, you'd like me to rescue them.

00:33:29

- Just bring them home.

00:33:30

Introduce him to Emily and Michael.

00:33:32

And once -- once he comes to terms with reality,

00:33:35

he should drop the whole elf thing

00:33:36

and move on with his life.

00:33:37

I mean, that's what I would do if I were you.

00:33:39

- Oh, my God, Walter, this is super for you.

00:33:44

You have another son.

00:33:46

- Wonderful.

00:33:48

Gosh, I guess I never really thought of it that way.

00:33:50

- This is incredible.

00:33:52

You know, it's a little complicated,

00:33:54

but it's nothing that we can't handle.

00:33:57

- Honey. - What?

00:33:59

- He thinks he's an elf. - I'm sorry. What?

00:34:03

- He thinks he's a Christmas elf.

00:34:06

- Oh, come on.

00:34:07

I'm sure he doesn't actually think he's an elf.

00:34:11

- And then I traveled to the seven levels

00:34:14

of the candy cane forest,

00:34:15

past the sea of swirly twirly gumdrops.

00:34:20

And then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.

00:34:46

- So where were you for the last 30 years?

00:34:49

- The North Pole.

00:34:50

- Can you pass the maple syrup, please?

00:34:52

- I didn't -- it's spaghetti.

00:34:57

- You know what? I think I have some. Oh, yes.

00:35:03

- You like sugar, huh?

00:35:05

- Is there sugar in syrup?

00:35:06

- Yes.

00:35:07

- Then yes.

00:35:10

We elves try to stick to the four main food groups:

00:35:13

Candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.

00:35:18

- So, will you be staying with us then?

00:35:21

- You mean I can stay?

00:35:23

- Of course you can. - Emily.

00:35:25

- How long do you think you'll be with us?

00:35:27

- I hadn't really planned it out,

00:35:29

but I was thinking, like, forever.

00:35:32

- Emily, can I just speak to you

00:35:34

for a minute in the kitchen, please?

00:35:40

Are you crazy? He cannot stay here.

00:35:42

- Clearly, he has some serious issues.

00:35:44

We can't just throw him out in the snow.

00:35:46

- Why not? He loves the snow. He's told me 15 times.

00:35:50

- Walter, he's your son.

00:35:53

[belching loudly]

00:36:06

- Did you hear that?

00:36:09

- You are so weird.

00:36:11

- [laughs] Did you hear that?

00:36:16

Why is it -- Why is it that burps and farts are fun?

00:36:21

Why is that? They just are. They're incredibly.

00:36:24

You don't think so, brother? Come on.

00:36:26

You must go to another church that likes to have fun.

00:36:28

Come on. There you go. Now, I've got him smiling.

00:36:31

Thank you. I got a smile. There you go.

00:36:33

This is -- This is something that I think

00:36:36

God wires into us is the desire for fun,

00:36:39

the desire to laugh.

00:36:40

He gives us -- our bodies do things

00:36:42

that cause us to laugh.

00:36:43

It's kind of -- kind of funny.

00:36:45

And Buddy, he brings joy where he goes.

00:36:48

He finds things to have fun.

00:36:49

He does stuff like put syrup on spaghetti.

00:36:53

He answers phones and says,

00:36:56

"What's your favorite color?"

00:36:58

He goes down to the mailroom, he's demoted.

00:37:01

He goes down the lower level part of the skyscraper,

00:37:04

and he gets everybody dancing.

00:37:06

And he's doing a kind of a Russian jig, a Russian dance.

00:37:09

Wherever he goes, he brings joy.

00:37:13

This is part of our fixation for Christmas.

00:37:15

We want to have more joy at Christmas.

00:37:17

We have an opportunity to have connection

00:37:20

and to have laughter, even when normal people

00:37:24

would be bothered and depressed, Buddy again and again,

00:37:28

he shrugs it off and he comes back with a good attitude.

00:37:32

Now, we see that he definitely has feelings,

00:37:34

as James Caan, his father,

00:37:36

is denying him the connection that he wants,

00:37:39

denying that he is who he is.

00:37:41

As that's happening,

00:37:42

we see him definitely getting bummed,

00:37:44

but he snaps back and he looks for joy.

00:37:47

The Book of Psalms 97:11 says this:

00:37:51

Light is sown for the righteous,

00:37:54

and joy for the upright in heart.

00:37:58

So, who gets to have joy?

00:38:00

Those who are upright in heart.

00:38:01

If you don't want joy, then you're low in heart.

00:38:03

So, we should be, we -- I'm assuming

00:38:06

if you came to church, you're open to spiritual things.

00:38:08

You're open to Jesus.

00:38:10

We should be the happiest, most joyful, positive,

00:38:14

upbeat, seeing the bright side of anybody.

00:38:17

We should be. We're the people of hope.

00:38:20

We are the upright in heart.

00:38:23

Now, here's the problem, and this is where

00:38:25

the depth of Elf comes in.

00:38:28

The depth here and the problem is,

00:38:31

while we want to have joy, be up, we have a condition.

00:38:37

And the condition is known as the orphan heart.

00:38:42

This is Buddy's condition.

00:38:44

He has been at the North Pole.

00:38:47

He's been with elves, but he's felt abandoned.

00:38:51

He's felt like he doesn't know who he is,

00:38:53

that he doesn't have a family that he identifies.

00:38:56

And so he's in search of

00:38:58

because he feels like he's on the outs.

00:39:01

Friends, if you want to understand

00:39:02

the problems we have in our country,

00:39:04

this is the key to understanding

00:39:06

every problem in our country is that every person

00:39:08

in our country feels like an orphan.

00:39:11

Every person in our country

00:39:12

feels like they're on the outs.

00:39:13

Every person in our country

00:39:15

feels like I have to live hand to mouth.

00:39:17

Every person in our country feels alone,

00:39:20

abandoned, feels judged, feels not worthy,

00:39:24

feels their worth, feels our worth based on

00:39:26

how we do compare to somebody else.

00:39:28

And we need other people who are different than us

00:39:31

to make us feel better about ourselves.

00:39:32

Because that's the way orphans are.

00:39:35

It's the orphan heart.

00:39:38

The Bible actually talks about this.

00:39:41

The Bible actually tells us

00:39:43

that we are adopted into the family.

00:39:45

No one's actually born into the family of God physically.

00:39:49

There's nobody who's ever been born

00:39:51

and just naturally,

00:39:52

physically has a connection with God.

00:39:54

We later on get adopted into the family of God.

00:39:57

That's what the Bible teaches over and over again.

00:39:59

Buddy, his journey is a journey

00:40:02

that we can identify

00:40:04

with that puts us up to the heavens.

00:40:08

There's this -- there's this juxtaposition,

00:40:10

if you will, between joy and family.

00:40:15

There's this juxtaposition between happiness

00:40:17

in Buddy's life and pain.

00:40:22

- What should we put on it first?

00:40:24

- Lights. - Oh, good.

00:40:25

And then after that? Ornaments?

00:40:30

- What the hell is that?

00:40:32

- A Christmas tree.

00:40:33

- A Christmas tree?

00:40:35

- Buddy chopped it down in the park.

00:40:38

- Emily?

00:40:40

- I don't know what you're making such a big deal of it,

00:40:42

they were just having a little fun.

00:40:45

- Fun? So, felonies are fun?

00:40:47

I thought felonies were felonies.

00:40:49

- Okay, The tree thing was bad.

00:40:50

I'll get him to plant another one,

00:40:52

but at least Michael is happy for once.

00:40:55

- What? What's that supposed to mean?

00:40:57

- Well, I don't think it's any secret, Walter,

00:40:59

that you haven't exactly been there for him.

00:41:01

- Tell you what,

00:41:02

why don't we just pull him out of school

00:41:04

and let the deranged elf man raise him,

00:41:06

then they can have lots of fun committing felonies.

00:41:09

- How are we going to get the star on top?

00:41:12

- I got it.

00:41:24

- You feeling strong, my friend?

00:41:26

Call me Elf one more time.

00:41:34

- He's an angry elf.

00:41:40

- Look at you.

00:41:43

Ow.

00:41:46

I wasn't ready for that.

00:41:48

Hey, hey, hey. whoa!

00:41:53

- Call me elf one more time. Call me elf.

00:41:56

- You're an elf.

00:42:04

- Miles, I'm sorry.

00:42:06

He thinks he's an elf.

00:42:08

Listen, Miles. Listen, Miles.

00:42:11

- He must be a South Pole elf.

00:42:16

- You get the hell out of here.

00:42:18

- Where do you want me to go?

00:42:20

- I don't care where you go.

00:42:21

I don't care that you're an elf.

00:42:22

I don't care that you're nuts.

00:42:24

I don't care that you're my son.

00:42:26

Get out of my life, now.

00:42:56

- I don't belong anywhere.

00:43:02

- He's struggling with feeling rejected.

00:43:05

Many of us feel that way as well,

00:43:08

even if we're successful or maybe successful

00:43:11

because we're trying to prove to ourselves

00:43:13

that we're worthy and we're better than others.

00:43:19

We have a bunch of people in our church

00:43:21

who have adopted folks, taken kids in foster care.

00:43:25

It's a massive, massive problem.

00:43:27

And it's an amazing thing when someone takes in a child.

00:43:30

And very frequently that process is difficult

00:43:35

and painful because you have a child

00:43:38

who may be 11 years old, 10 years olds, 9 years old,

00:43:41

who their whole life all they've known is disconnection.

00:43:43

Their whole life, all they've known

00:43:45

has been relational disappointment.

00:43:47

And they can't trust.

00:43:48

They don't want to trust because they trust and they love,

00:43:51

and then they're let down again,

00:43:53

it hurts ten times worse than it was.

00:43:56

It's the orphan heart.

00:43:57

And this is the way many of us are.

00:43:59

Maybe we haven't been adopted physically.

00:44:02

Maybe we haven't been in foster care

00:44:05

or in an orphanage, but we feel disconnected.

00:44:08

We feel like we have to compete for our worth.

00:44:10

We feel like just in an orphanage,

00:44:12

there's only so much to go around,

00:44:13

so everyone should get fair-ies and evens.

00:44:15

And if somebody has more than I have

00:44:17

then I can get bitter.

00:44:19

If someone is doing the wrong thing,

00:44:20

we root for someone to get caught

00:44:22

because that's what the orphan wants.

00:44:23

If you go down, then I somehow go up.

00:44:25

I can criticize you and tear you down

00:44:26

because somehow that's going to make me be better

00:44:29

and have my chances more positive.

00:44:30

This is orphan tendencies in our culture.

00:44:33

We're just one huge, massive orphanage

00:44:35

with a bunch of people who feel detached and unloved

00:44:39

and needing accomplishment and affirmation

00:44:42

in order to have a moment, a brief moment of respite.

00:44:47

This is our spiritual condition.

00:44:48

This is our natural spiritual condition.

00:44:50

At least this is how the Bible puts it.

00:44:52

In the book of Ephesians chapter two it says this.

00:44:55

It says:

00:45:13

It says by nature we are distant from God,

00:45:18

by nature, not by nature of a nice, innocent baby

00:45:22

who God is impressed with.

00:45:24

No, by nature all of mankind is like an orphan,

00:45:29

separated, going their own way.

00:45:31

That's the way we are.

00:45:33

That's called original sin in the Bible.

00:45:35

It's what caused us to be as messed up emotionally

00:45:38

and spiritually as we are.

00:45:40

This natural propensity to look about ourselves

00:45:43

and be about ourselves

00:45:44

as every orphan is always about themselves

00:45:47

and only themselves.

00:45:49

And then Jesus puts it this way in John 1:12:

00:45:51

But to all who did receive him,

00:45:54

who believed in his name,

00:45:56

he gave the right to become children of God,

00:46:01

who are born,

00:46:02

not of blood nor of the will of the flesh

00:46:04

nor the will of man, but of God.

00:46:06

So, God gives us the right to become children of God.

00:46:10

We don't --I'm not a child of God just because I'm born.

00:46:13

I become a child of God

00:46:15

when God adopts me into his family.

00:46:18

Everyone's not a child of God.

00:46:20

Those who receive him and are adopted into his family,

00:46:24

they are, we are the children of God.

00:46:27

God loves all people.

00:46:29

God wants all people in his family,

00:46:31

but not all people want to be in his family.

00:46:32

Not all people want to receive him.

00:46:34

There's other verses I could share with you right now,

00:46:36

but I'm not going to do that.

00:46:37

I just want you know, this is the thrust

00:46:41

of the entire New Testament, of the entire Bible.

00:46:44

This is the thrust of your entire life,

00:46:48

figuring this out.

00:46:49

How will you feel secure and joyful and loved?

00:46:53

This is the thrust, really, of the movie Elf.

00:46:58

Buddy is happy as he is and as joyful as he is

00:47:02

and as great as his attitude is,

00:47:04

he keeps hitting this wall again and again

00:47:07

where he wants a father, he needs his father.

00:47:10

Even though his father, Papa Elf up in the North Pole,

00:47:14

even though he is a wonderful guy,

00:47:16

he wants to know his roots.

00:47:18

He wants his father.

00:47:21

Maybe the reason why I asked specifically

00:47:23

for this movie to preach on this weekend

00:47:26

is because when I saw the movie Elf,

00:47:28

I saw immediately that it was

00:47:30

a deep, spiritual, transcendent story.

00:47:33

When other people just saw syrup on noodles

00:47:35

and all kind of crazy stuff,

00:47:38

I saw the story of the Bible.

00:47:41

I saw the story of mankind.

00:47:43

I actually saw and I still see the story of me.

00:47:46

Can I tell you my story in just a little bit?

00:47:48

Some of you might have heard this,

00:47:50

maybe not all of this, but it fits in here.

00:47:53

So just bear with me. Here's my story.

00:47:57

I was born at a very early age. [laughter]

00:48:04

And then I was adopted.

00:48:06

I had a mother who had an unwanted pregnancy.

00:48:09

She was not knowing how she was gonna make that happen,

00:48:13

how to make me happen and raise me, so she --

00:48:15

and the father was not going to be around, apparently.

00:48:19

So, she put me up for adoption,

00:48:20

and I got adopted pretty much at birth.

00:48:22

And I'm very thankful I have.

00:48:24

I have great parents.

00:48:25

My parents have blessed me greatly.

00:48:27

They've done things like give me a stable home,

00:48:30

never hungry,

00:48:31

saved money for me to have a college education.

00:48:34

All of these things.

00:48:35

They even paid for my seminary.

00:48:36

Really, really, really great people, really are.

00:48:40

And I dealt with the orphaned heart

00:48:44

in a significant way growing up.

00:48:46

I think because, like Buddy, Buddy looked at Papa Elf

00:48:49

and as good as he was, he knew you're not my dad.

00:48:53

And as good as my dad may have been,

00:48:55

I was reminded all the time,

00:48:56

"You're not my dad because you're not like me."

00:48:59

I'm taller. My dad is shorter.

00:49:01

My dad has a huge head. I've got a small head.

00:49:04

He has a huge head because he has a huge, smart brain.

00:49:07

I have a small head because I have a small brain

00:49:09

that isn't very smart sometimes.

00:49:10

My dad went to Ivy League schools

00:49:12

and got valedictorian

00:49:14

and is a nuclear scientist,

00:49:16

actually troubleshooting nuclear reactors.

00:49:19

And then there's me

00:49:22

who takes seven years to get a four year degree

00:49:25

and takes accounting 1 three times.

00:49:29

Fourth grade, one of my more traumatic memories.

00:49:32

I'm learning -- we're learning how to do long division,

00:49:34

and I'm not getting it.

00:49:35

It's not coming natural to me.

00:49:36

My dad's trying to coach me.

00:49:38

And we're at the kitchen table,

00:49:39

and he is looking over my shoulder trying to explain it

00:49:42

and I'm getting it wrong again.

00:49:43

And he takes his pencil,

00:49:45

I can remember as clear as day, it said Westinghouse on it,

00:49:47

and he takes it -- that's where he worked.

00:49:49

He jams his pencil into the paper, said,

00:49:51

"Why can't you get this?" And the pencil breaks.

00:49:55

I could see the tip break off and I just start weeping.

00:49:57

I can remember tears falling off my face,

00:50:01

hitting the -- hitting the thing

00:50:02

while I saw that broken tip of the number 2 pencil.

00:50:05

Because "Who am I? I am not my dad. He is not me.

00:50:11

I am a very alone. No one understands me."

00:50:14

This would be reinforced throughout my life

00:50:16

in different ways and stupid ways.

00:50:18

I did stupid, stupid things, just like as a 15 year old.

00:50:22

I've always liked tobacco in all forms.

00:50:25

And when I was 15 it was awesome

00:50:28

that you could go into any store

00:50:29

and buy anything you want. God bless America.

00:50:32

You'd come out with cigars, chew, whatever you want.

00:50:34

It was wonderful.

00:50:35

So I thought -- I thought I should get my dad,

00:50:38

for I think it was Father's Day,

00:50:40

"I should get him a big cigar, that'd be awesome."

00:50:43

It's a stupid idea, dumb idea.

00:50:46

I never saw my dad have any tobacco, ever,

00:50:48

never his whole life.

00:50:50

In my heart, my juvenile heart I thought,

00:50:52

"Yeah, my dad will see that I love him.

00:50:53

He'll see, it'll be great. He'll appreciate it.

00:50:56

Maybe no one's ever given him a big, nice cigar."

00:50:58

It wasn't a nice cigar. It was pretty cheap. It was big.

00:51:01

Gave it to him, and he put it on his bureau.

00:51:05

And I saw it day after day, week after week,

00:51:07

month after month, year after year

00:51:09

not get used, get dryer and dryer.

00:51:11

And every time I saw that,

00:51:13

I was reminded my dad's not like me.

00:51:17

My dad doesn't get me.

00:51:19

My life would be so much better

00:51:21

and so much more fulfilling

00:51:23

if I actually knew my biological father,

00:51:26

because then things would make sense

00:51:28

and all that stuff.

00:51:29

That's basically Buddy's story.

00:51:32

So, I would always try to find my parents,

00:51:33

but eventually I just -- I couldn't do it.

00:51:36

I just gave up

00:51:37

and I just kind of lost interest eventually.

00:51:39

A woman here a Crossroads Susan Levy,

00:51:41

contacted me and said, "Hey, I kind of do this.

00:51:44

I'd just like to take your case on.

00:51:46

So, tell me what you want, tell me what you know,

00:51:48

and I'm going to go see if I can find your dad."

00:51:50

I was like, "Okay, fine.

00:51:53

You want to do that, fine. No problem."

00:51:54

She comes back and she says,

00:51:56

"Hey, I think I found your birth mother."

00:51:58

And I get together with my birth mom.

00:52:01

And it was really amazing.

00:52:03

She was -- she was a believer.

00:52:05

She was a Christian.

00:52:06

She had been praying for me every day, every day.

00:52:09

And my wife always said, "You know,

00:52:13

someone has to be praying for you every day

00:52:14

because doesn't make sense

00:52:16

for you to be as blessed as you are."

00:52:18

[laughter]

00:52:22

Perhaps my birth mother.

00:52:23

And I -- question number one from me for her was who --

00:52:27

tell me about my father.

00:52:29

I don't know if this is the way it is

00:52:30

like this for women.

00:52:31

I'm not a woman. I don't identify as a woman.

00:52:34

I'm not a woman.

00:52:35

So, I don't know if it's the way it is for women.

00:52:37

But I can tell you, for men,

00:52:38

men have a need to understand and know their father.

00:52:41

And they actually,

00:52:42

we actually want the blessing of our father.

00:52:44

Very few of us ever get the blessing of the father.

00:52:47

So, we're doomed, unless we figure out a different way,

00:52:49

we're doomed to be a spiritual orphan

00:52:51

for the rest of our life.

00:52:52

Having a hard time making commitments,

00:52:54

having a hard time being happy,

00:52:56

having a hard time dealing with rejection,

00:52:58

having a hard time giving love and feeling love,

00:53:00

having a hard time -- it's we're doomed to that.

00:53:02

Without the father's blessing, that's what we're in for.

00:53:05

Boy, I'd like to have another sermon right now,

00:53:07

but I don't have time for it.

00:53:08

But that was really what I was looking for.

00:53:10

She said, "I don't know anything.

00:53:12

I don't know where he is, sorry."

00:53:17

Just as my mother drew a boundary,

00:53:20

an appropriate boundary around me 50 some years ago,

00:53:22

because she couldn't care for me and keep me,

00:53:25

I realize I need to draw a boundary around her

00:53:27

at this point because I just had too much going on.

00:53:30

I had too many family commitments already,

00:53:32

too many staff relationships, too many --

00:53:34

And I just -- it was a lot of stuff going on.

00:53:36

I just said to her very, very nicely,

00:53:38

"I love you. I'm thankful for you.

00:53:39

But we're not going to have an ongoing relationship."

00:53:42

And she she had a hard time accepting that,

00:53:44

understandably.

00:53:45

And she kept trying to like open the door

00:53:47

and spend time with me.

00:53:48

And finally, I just ended up ignoring phone calls.

00:53:52

She left me a voicemail once, she said,

00:53:54

"Brian, good news. I just talked to your father."

00:53:59

I'm going like, "I should just end this.

00:54:02

She said she had no idea.

00:54:03

I'm not going to call her back.

00:54:05

I'm not. I'm not not falling for this."

00:54:07

Some time later, I'm driving on my summer break

00:54:09

down to where we're going to spend time

00:54:12

at Norse Lake in Tennessee and phone rings.

00:54:15

Like, "Huh?" I answer, "Hello?"

00:54:18

And this guy says, "Hi, Brian.

00:54:21

Susan tells me that I may be your father."

00:54:24

I'm like, "Okay."

00:54:28

He says, "Here's what I'd like to do.

00:54:30

I'd like to -- I'd like to get a DNA test.

00:54:34

We'll check your DNA against my DNA.

00:54:36

If it comes back that you're my son,

00:54:38

then I'll get together with you

00:54:39

and tell you anything you want to know."

00:54:41

And I'm sitting there, I'm thinking, I'm driving, right.

00:54:44

I'm going, I thought and I said,

00:54:45

"Well, who says that I want to get together with yo

00:54:50

u and that I even want to take the test at all?"

00:54:53

And there's a pause on another line.

00:54:55

And then he goes, "That's exactly what I say.

00:54:59

You must be my son."

00:55:00

[laughter]

00:55:05

He said, "That's exactly what I would say.

00:55:08

You must be my son."

00:55:09

I was like, [sobbing]

00:55:11

Like, "Oh, my gosh. Like someone understands me?

00:55:15

Someone gets me? Oh, my word. Woo!"

00:55:20

He says, "Hey, let's go -- How about if I come out

00:55:22

and visit you for the weekend?"

00:55:24

I said, "No, I've already been to that train one time.

00:55:27

That's too big of a commitment.

00:55:28

Maybe at some point we'll do --

00:55:30

Let's hold on. Let's talk on the phone.

00:55:31

But I'll get together with you sometime in the future.

00:55:34

Let's have a beer or something like that."

00:55:35

He said, "Okay, fine." So he lives in California.

00:55:37

I went out to California for a conference.

00:55:39

I stopped and I said,

00:55:40

"Hey, I'm gonna be here on this date.

00:55:42

Want to get together for a beer?"

00:55:43

He said, "Sure, Great."

00:55:44

So we're going out.

00:55:45

We come together and we have a beer.

00:55:47

The first time I've had a beer with a father figure.

00:55:49

My dad doesn't drink at all, but my birth father does.

00:55:51

So I'm thinking like, "Oh my gosh, this is amazing.

00:55:55

He understands my directness.

00:55:56

He's just as direct as me."

00:55:57

And then everything went downhill from there.

00:56:00

Everything went down.

00:56:01

He starts telling me that he's got --

00:56:03

I've got two half sisters.

00:56:05

He got two daughters who he says, quote unquote,

00:56:08

"Live back east somewhere."

00:56:10

Doesn't know where they live.

00:56:13

Doesn't know where they are.

00:56:15

He divorced their mom

00:56:18

because she went into menopause

00:56:21

and he said, quote unquote,

00:56:22

"I just couldn't handle that crap."

00:56:24

So he divorced his wife because she went into menopause.

00:56:26

Too tough for him.

00:56:27

Had another wife, divorced her.

00:56:29

He said, "Now I'm on my third.

00:56:30

She's a Filipino in her thirties."

00:56:33

And he said, "She can't keep up with me."

00:56:35

And he's just kind of going on in this stuff.

00:56:37

And I'm like, "Okay, I think I've had enough.

00:56:40

I think I'm good. I think I'm done."

00:56:42

So we end, everything is nice.

00:56:44

And I start having this crisis like,

00:56:45

"Oh my gosh, my -- my dad has got this big head

00:56:49

and he's hyper smart

00:56:51

and he doesn't like my vices at all.

00:56:54

I'm not like him.

00:56:55

And this guy over here,

00:56:57

he -- he doesn't even talk to his daughters,

00:57:00

doesn't even know where they live.

00:57:02

I like my daughters. They actually like me.

00:57:05

We laugh together.

00:57:06

My son, we hang out just to have fun.

00:57:09

How does he not do that?

00:57:11

Oh, my gosh. He's on -- he's on his third wife.

00:57:13

I'm a one woman kind of man. One woman.

00:57:16

One woman -- plan to be one.

00:57:19

I'm a one woman kind of man. Who am I?"

00:57:20

I'm looking at this stuff, and it was really a crisis.

00:57:23

And then as I was depressed because I always thought

00:57:26

if I saw somebody who was my DNA,

00:57:28

kind of like what Buddy thinks, if he sees James Caan,

00:57:32

everything's gonna make sense.

00:57:33

I kept thinking everything would makes sense,

00:57:35

and it wasn't, it was more confusing.

00:57:36

I kept asking myself, "Now who am I?"

00:57:39

So, praying about this.

00:57:40

The next morning I get up and pray about it.

00:57:42

And God says to me, I sense God say,

00:57:44

"Brian, you're my son. You're my son.

00:57:48

You're not his son or his son.

00:57:50

And I get you. And I get you."

00:57:54

God understands me and he likes me

00:57:59

and he even laughs at my jokes, believe it or not.

00:58:02

And he gets you. He understands you.

00:58:06

And he laughs at your jokes.

00:58:08

I don't care what your giftedness is.

00:58:10

I don't care what your talents are.

00:58:11

I don't care what your wiring is.

00:58:13

I don't care if you're a jock, nerd, whatever you are,

00:58:17

white, black, I don't care if you're left, right.

00:58:21

I don't care if you're artsy, grungy. I don't care.

00:58:24

God understands you. He gets you.

00:58:26

He loves you. He gets a kick out of you.

00:58:31

But we often don't feel this because

00:58:34

we're dealing with our orphaned hearted tendencies,

00:58:38

this thing that keeps me from connecting with God.

00:58:43

And God so desperately wants to connect with you.

00:58:45

He so wants to sit with you.

00:58:47

He so wants you to sit with him.

00:58:49

This is actually a transcendent thing.

00:58:53

This is the other thing that we see

00:58:55

in the movie The Elf, is we see --

00:58:59

when you see a desire for the transcendent

00:59:01

at the climactic scene, which fascinatingly enough,

00:59:04

this next scene I'm going to show you,

00:59:06

Lib and I, my first time ever in New York City

00:59:09

was when she was having her 40th birthday.

00:59:11

And she wanted to go there, and I surprised her with that.

00:59:14

I'd never been in New York City before,

00:59:15

so we surprised her for a 40th birthday trip.

00:59:18

And while we're there and staying at this hotel

00:59:20

and out walking one night, they were filming

00:59:23

this very scene from the Elf

00:59:26

while we were there that night,

00:59:29

not knowing to me that this is actually going to be

00:59:31

a critical actual movie for me, believe it or not,

00:59:34

in my spiritual formation.

00:59:36

This ultimate scene, this climactic scene

00:59:39

is what I'm going to show you next.

00:59:41

It's where Santa is trying to get his sleigh

00:59:46

up and going, but he can't because

00:59:48

there's not enough natural belief anymore.

00:59:50

There's not Christmas spirit.

00:59:51

So he's got to use artificial means because

00:59:53

it used to be people believed and had faith in Christmas

00:59:56

and they don't any longer.

00:59:58

But if only they would, they could take off again.

01:00:00

And there's this really cool, cool thing

01:00:02

where we see this desire

01:00:04

for the transcendent with Buddy.

01:00:07

The transcendent is what Christmas is about.

01:00:09

And the transcendent this scene is what Buddy is about.

01:00:14

- Excuse me.

01:00:15

-The authorities have not discovered

01:00:16

any reindeer in the park?

01:00:17

- No, No reindeer.

01:00:18

- Sleigh bells? - No sleigh bells either.

01:00:20

- Elves? - None of that.

01:00:22

We just need everyone --

01:00:23

- It's the real Santa.

01:00:25

His sleigh won't, nobody believes in it.

01:00:26

- Did you see something in the park?

01:00:28

- Everyone out there, Santa needs us to believe.

01:00:30

I can prove he's real. Look, this is his list.

01:00:32

- Okay, well, further confirmation

01:00:35

that there has been a Santa sighting tonight.

01:00:37

We have the naughty and nice list.

01:00:38

Lynn Kessler wants a Powerpuff Girls playset.

01:00:40

[gasps]

01:00:41

Mark Weber wants an electric guitar?

01:00:43

Yes.

01:00:44

- Carolyn Reynolds wants the Suzy-Talks-a-Lot.

01:00:47

- Thanks, Buddy.

01:00:48

- Dirk Lawson wants a day of pampering

01:00:50

at Burke Williams Spa.

01:00:52

- Must be another Dirk Lawson.

01:00:57

- Dave Keckler wants some Nike shocks.

01:00:59

- Okay, well, obviously,

01:01:01

we have a new development in the story.

01:01:04

Confirmation that Santa must have been sighted

01:01:06

because we have his book right here.

01:01:09

- What's your name?

01:01:10

- I'm Charlotte Dennon, New York One.

01:01:14

- D. Charlotte Dennon wants a Tiffany engagement ring

01:01:19

and for her boyfriend to stop dragging his feet

01:01:21

and commit already.

01:01:22

- Oh.

01:01:27

- We've got power.

01:01:28

- Charlotte? Charlotte?

01:01:30

- Hey, turn the cameras back on.

01:01:32

- Who told you to say that? - The real Santa.

01:01:34

We need to get these cameras back on.

01:01:36

He needs our help.

01:01:37

- But some spontaneous Christmas caroling

01:01:39

has broken out right here in front of Central Park.

01:01:42

Let's have a listen in.

01:01:43

[singing Santa Claus is Coming to Town]

01:02:10

- Just a little more.

01:02:23

- You're not singing.

01:02:26

- Yes, I am.

01:02:27

- No, you're not. You're just moving your lips.

01:02:30

- Santa!

01:02:32

- Michael, please. What's the big deal?

01:02:34

- Dad?

01:02:36

- [singing] Santa Claus is coming to town.

01:03:01

- Goodbye.

01:03:03

- Not like the old days.

01:03:05

- Charlotte?

01:03:07

- Man, anyone admit just like a little tear

01:03:09

in the corner of your eye maybe?

01:03:11

Yeah, right, Russ?

01:03:14

I mean, don't you want Santa to be real?

01:03:17

I mean, don't you?

01:03:18

Every time I see a Christmas movie is like I want that.

01:03:20

I wish there was a fat guy who gave gifts

01:03:24

and reindeer pulled his sleigh.

01:03:26

I want that. Most of us do.

01:03:29

We think, "Oh, that would be so great."

01:03:31

And it's because baked into all of us

01:03:35

is the desire for the transcendent.

01:03:38

Baked into all of us is a belief and a yearning

01:03:42

for the miraculous, a belief and a little yearning

01:03:44

for something above us, beyond us,

01:03:48

greater than us that reaches down to us

01:03:51

in a way that Santa did.

01:03:53

And it's true, it's just that his name is Jesus.

01:03:56

His name is Jesus and he is the very son of God,

01:04:02

in the family of God, who reaches down to us.

01:04:06

This is the story of Christmas.

01:04:08

Let me read it for you as we close today.

01:04:10

It comes the book of Matthew, and here's what it says:

01:05:15

Jesus dealt with what it was like to be an orphan.

01:05:21

One of the biggest criticisms that was against him

01:05:23

and they used to dig at him all the time

01:05:25

is they would -- they were in essence

01:05:27

the religious ruling leaders

01:05:29

would call him a bastard to his face.

01:05:31

They would tell him, "We don't know who your dad is.

01:05:33

Oh, yeah, right. We heard this Holy Spirit one.

01:05:36

Yeah, Yeah."

01:05:39

He felt what it was like to be rejected

01:05:43

and to not have a family that was up to snuff,

01:05:45

up to standards with everybody else's

01:05:48

or what they thought it should be.

01:05:52

He had a miracle that is beyond Santa

01:05:55

and a flying fat white guy in a sleigh.

01:05:58

He actually got born

01:06:00

when there was never any sex that happened with his mom.

01:06:02

Why is that?

01:06:04

It's because that gave him the ability

01:06:06

to have a life that he lived sinless,

01:06:09

so that when he goes to a cross

01:06:10

and he dies on the cross, he can die for me,

01:06:12

not die for his own stuff.

01:06:14

Therefore I don't have to get punished for my own stuff.

01:06:16

My father adopts me as an orphan kid

01:06:19

who's got all kind of issues into his family,

01:06:22

and I don't have to pay for all my thievery.

01:06:24

I don't have to pay for all my five finger discounts,

01:06:27

because Jesus has for me.

01:06:29

I know this sounds crazy.

01:06:31

Of course it sounds crazy.

01:06:33

And we should expect if there is a God

01:06:35

and he comes to us, we should expect crazy.

01:06:37

In fact, if there's not a God

01:06:39

that supersedes the natural every once in a while,

01:06:41

it's called supernatural,

01:06:42

then we shouldn't believe in God at all.

01:06:45

Let's just believe in the times table,

01:06:48

and my dad will help you out with that really, really well.

01:06:50

And you can get everything the times table gives you

01:06:53

and nothing that's an X factor

01:06:54

that you'd acquire from the power of God.

01:06:57

This is the story of Christmas, except it happened,

01:07:00

it really, really happened.

01:07:02

And 2000 years of history and change,

01:07:05

cultures and eyewitnesses say that it is,

01:07:08

that he's come to be with us

01:07:12

and he wants to be with you.

01:07:14

Maybe you've been an orphan.

01:07:16

Maybe you felt like an orphan

01:07:19

and you want to come into his family right now.

01:07:21

If so, you just pray a prayer like this.

01:07:23

Just repeat this after me.

01:07:25

God, I want to be in your family.

01:07:29

And I ask that you forgive me for my sin.

01:07:33

That's all right. You say it. Say it.

01:07:35

And I asked you come into my life right now.

01:07:39

And I asked you, fill me with your Holy Spirit.

01:07:44

I give you my life right now.

01:07:47

In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

01:07:51

And God, I pray for anyone who said that prayer

01:07:54

and anybody who needed be reminded of

01:07:55

the time we said that prayer

01:07:57

when we came into your family.

01:07:58

God, we want to shake off, shake off the old person

01:08:02

that's having an orphan mentality,

01:08:04

just is too cynical, too fearful,

01:08:08

too unexpecting of your love and grace.

01:08:13

We are your children and we want to claim that identity

01:08:16

and walk in that this Christmas season.

01:08:19

You're good to adopt us and love us.

01:08:21

And I pray these things in your name, Jesus. Amen.

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