In high school, I gave up talking to girls for Lent. (Nothing in my life changed at all.)
Growing up in and around the church space, I have been “giving up” things for Lent for quite some time. For most years, it was a rotation of some kind of food or technology or whatever everyone else around me was choosing. And yes, there was a year when I said I wouldn’t talk to girls for 40 days (my mom didn’t count; she made sure I understood that).
As time passed, Lent became less front of mind for me every spring. I either forgot about it or subconsciously believed I had graduated from that religious phase. I realized I didn’t really know why I was doing Lent in the first place, and doing anything for 40 days just because I felt like I “should”—or because I grew up doing it—eventually stopped being enough for me.
So I quit participating. I gave up Lent…for Lent. Does that still count?
In recent years, though, something has shifted. I’m actually, dare I say, more than willing to participate in Lent this year and years to follow, all on my own accord (no one has me in a headlock while typing this). I’m excited for Lent—not just to check a box or have something to say if someone asks about it—but to draw closer to God in a way that’s honestly just difficult to do in our over-stimulated and materialized culture.
So, what should I give up for Lent? My answer to that came through discovering what Lent is really about and what it is for—giving me direction and clarity on what is best for me to sacrifice.
What is Lent?
Lent is a period of fasting (abstaining from something) in the 40 days leading up to the Thursday before Easter. It is a millennia-old tradition in the Christian faith, with the goal of “sharing” in Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross with our own, much smaller sacrifice (because I don’t believe giving up cookies is the same as a public execution).
Why Should I Do Lent?
There are no official rules for Lent—it is not commanded or mentioned in the Bible and was a practice established hundreds of years after Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection. So, if it’s an optional assignment, why do it?
I believe there are three primary reasons one would benefit from engaging in the season of Lent, reasons that have propelled me from being an eye-rolling bystander of the tradition in years past to an active and willing participant moving forward. By coming face to face with Jesus’ death, resurrection, and his sole place in our lives, I believe Lent can propel us deeper into joy and life with God than ever before.
Lent Pushes Us to Address Jesus’ Death
By giving up something of my own during Lent, I’m reminded of Jesus giving up his life on the cross. And this reminder can be…uncomfortable. I’m faced with the reason Jesus chose to die: because I’m a broken, sinful person who has earned death (Romans 6:23), that my good deeds are incapable of saving me (Isaiah 64:6), and I need a perfect substitute to step in for me (2 Corinthians 5:21).
It’s a humbling reminder, but it’s also freeing. It breaks me away from the unhealthy pursuit of perfection I often get entangled in, trying to earn favor with God or believe that my religious deeds can get me into Heaven. Rather than spiraling into guilt of my brokenness and sin, the cross reminds me that God’s grace is not only available, but necessary for me to accept. The apostle Paul says so in a letter to the church of Galatia:
And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose. (Galatians 2:20-21).
No matter what I give up for Lent, the practice reminds me that Jesus gave up his life because he loves me. It’s the one way that God and I can reconcile. The cross is good news, but not if it stands alone.
Lent Prepares Us For the Resurrection
Many people have been crucified in history. But it’s the resurrection of Jesus that changed everything.
Lent will be a tough 40 days, but the end is always in sight—not just the end of my fasting but also the end of the Easter season, when the resurrection of Jesus is honored and celebrated.
So in the moments where I’m really craving that one app, food, or show, I can be reminded that what I’m waiting for is the celebration of the God of the universe conquering death and giving me an invitation to eternal life:
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26)
Lent brings the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus to the forefront of our minds for all 40 days, but it also strengthens another part of our faith—the things of this earth that we cling tightly to daily.
Lent Reminds Us Of Our One, True Need
We live in a time when we can have nearly anything at any moment, so denying ourselves anything doesn’t just feel impractical, it feels wrong. One urge or craving can launch us into a spiral of food selections or online choices to feel calm or comfortable.
But just as Jesus went 40 days in the desert without food, claiming that God the Father provides him all the bread he needs, Lent can teach me the same thing: that my pursuit of dopamine hits doesn’t have to control my life. Instead, the love, presence, and hope found in Jesus can.
“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? (Isaiah 58:6)
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. (Psalm 23:1)
By choosing something important to us to give up for 40 days, we let God remind us that he is our one true need, and that nothing in this world can hold the full weight of our desires. The things I’ve given up for Lent in the past aren’t bad—they just have occupied too much space in my heart, mind, and life, and I wasn’t enjoying them out of freedom or joy. Letting go of them for 40 days teaches me to have my immovable, true joy be found in my identity as God’s child.
And speaking of choosing what to give up…
What Should I Give Up For Lent?
The best things to give up for Lent are the distractions keeping you from God—whether that be social media, sweet treats, streaming movies or shows, watching sports, or many other things. Since there are no rules of Lent in the Bible, it’s a choose-your-own-adventure to take the next step in growing closer to God.
In today’s world, there are more options than ever for what we could give up for Lent. Seriously—the average American has 300,000 items1 in their home. While I don’t know if that statistic is horrifying or blasphemous or both—it makes me wonder: Why’d I have to be born at a time when I had to choose between surrendering my Xbox or Amazon Prime? Couldn’t I have been alive in 1812 and had to choose between a coat button or a box of matches?
I believe why we are doing Lent is more important than what we are giving up. That said, my why often helps me narrow down that what. Instead of asking generally “What do people give up for Lent?” As I mentioned, I’ve started asking myself: “What has been distracting me from God lately? What is taking me away from real relational connection with Jesus, and also, those closest to me in my life?” The answer to those questions is usually the thing I don’t want to give up, which I know means it’s probably the one that would be best for me to surrender.
In short, I ask those questions, I pray about it, then I just pick something: having my phone on past 8 pm, my gaming console, those apps that suck my time, watching TV, eating out anywhere. As long as it’s something that answers those questions and is something I’ll actually miss (my tooth floss doesn’t count)—then I don’t think God cares too much if it’s the ‘right’ thing, because there is no ‘right’ thing to give up. No one is keeping score, unless you are—which if you are—quit doing that.
Lastly, I’ll try to “add” something to my life that’s healthy for me, typically a spiritual one. Maybe every day I’ll add reading a Proverb, going on a prayer walk, or journaling for five minutes. These habits will help me to grow in faith by adding more connection with God into my life, not just removing obstacles and holding on for dear life until it’s over.
Finishing the Fight
In my times participating in Lent or different fasts, the temptation has been to just stare at the clock and wait for my self-inflicted religious prison to jailbreak. It’s a constant war in my mind of questioning why I even did this in the first place.
It became incredibly important to me to pay attention to my cravings. When I feel an urge to eat a certain food, download a certain app, or play a certain video game during a fast, I ask God to meet me where I am. I ask Him to remind me that he is all I need, and my body and mind’s fleeting desires don’t get to dictate my life.
Then, perhaps, when the 40 days are over, I’m not frothing at the mouth to regain whatever I gave up. Maybe I am even somewhat hesitant to re-engage with it, at least to the extent I did before (especially if it’s Halo 3, because nobody needs me to beat that Campaign again) and have more room for time with God.
Let me be clear: Giving up anything, at least for me, isn’t fun. I’ll never pretend that abstaining from anything I could possibly give up for Lent is inherently desirable to me. But what is desirable to me is knowing God in a fresh, new way. Seeing how Lent prepares me for Easter and draws my heart closer to God isn’t something I want to pass on anymore.
What if it’s not about what I’m giving up for Lent, but what I’m giving up to know God better?
Disclaimer: This article is 100% human-generated.
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For many people, gathering possessions is just the stuff of life (Los Angeles Times)1
